Old Friends [attn; Kenneth]

[Avyra]

Avyra Life doesn't discriminate
Between the sinners and the saints
It just takes and it takes and it takes
And we keep living anyway

It took up a lot of her courage to walk outside anymore. But yet, she was here, as though she expected to find the answer to all her troubles. Avyra walked silently through the gardens, head down, not speaking to anything. Completely lulled in thought. Terric had left her for dead, basically. Jaryd had told her to consider his Ajah. Her first run in with Ravak's daughter ended in disaster. Yet Ravak was now teaching her the blade. Zeen, the bloody M'hael, had taken her into the Blight to fight Trollocs. But he had told her she was brave, even after she wanted to run. She still had the metal bird he had made her, in her pocket. She hardly went anywhere without the small thing. Nothing made sense. How could life take one thing from her then give her another? All she wanted was a friend closer to her age. Closer to her rank. Closer. She stopped, then, spotting a man sitting alone on a bench. She recognized him, an Asha'man, but she hadn't seen him in ages. Would he remember her? She blinked, then walked over to him, tilting her head slightly. "I.. Asha'man Taesh? Is this seat taken?" She motioned to the space beside him. An Asha'man already? I must be doing really bad!

[Kenneth]

Taesh Asha'man

Taesh was sitting on the bench, enjoying the view of his latest Plantweaving efforts. Working in the Tower Gardens had become a pastime for the Head Clerk. A necessary escape from the demands of being the leader of the Ajah that was often sought after for it's expertise of the laws of the land and mediation. Using the One Power to create verdant beauty brought a measure of peace to the Asha'man well known for soothing turbulent situations.

His slight state of reverie was disturbed from a shadow and the voice of it's owner.

"I.. Asha'man Taesh? Is this seat taken?"

Taesh blinked his long lashed eyes, refocusing his mind as he looked into the face of the speaker. It had indeed been sometime since the Atha'an Miere had last seen the young woman before him. Neither of those times had been the most pleasant of encounters. Not that Taesh had an aversion to her, she was a bit confrontational for his taste, but seemed alright enough. Instead it was the memories of what was going on around them that soured his thoughts involving Avyra. Once they had chased down a murderer in the Tower, right before the attack of the Seanchan many years ago. Then, during that attack, she and Taesh, with a group of others, battled a to'raken in the Tower courtyard. Very unpleasant memories.

Still neither situation had been the fault of Avyra, so the Asha'man gave her a welcoming smile and nod. "No, this seat is not taken Accepted. And anyone who has seen me come almost to the point of making my breeches look like they have been dipped in the sea can call me Taesh." He chuckled at that, now able to laugh at how scared he was when the deceased Mirin Sedai had wrapped the would be sleuths in bonds of Air, thinking them to be the very murders they had been tracking. "How have the winds been blowing for you lately?"

The Head Clerk was actually surprised to see Avyra in the banded white of the Accepted's. It had not been all that long since he had been Raised to the Cord, but still as far as he knew Avyra had entered the Tower before him. It was none of his concern though, unless she was aspiring to the Grey, not that he could fathom the fiery female channeler as a member of his own Ajah.

[Avyra]

Avyra couldn't help but smile at his words, but not out of amusement. It was so much simplier back then. In a sick, twisted way, she almost wished Mirin was still alive so that the Mistress of Novices could beat some sense into her. Where did that Avyra go? And why had Mirin tried so hard to keep her here? In fact, why was she still here? Who had actual faith in her? Her thoughts seemed to circle for hours, but it wasn't until Taesh spoke again that she realized it had only been mere seconds. "How have the winds been blowing for you lately?" She blinked and looked down at her knees. "They're okay, I guess." It didn't sound like they were okay, but she didn't want to spill the entirety of her feelings on an innocent. "Its unimportant. How's life as a Gray?" That was much more interesting. There weren't many Grays in the Tower.

[Kenneth]

"They're okay, I guess."

The tone of her voice did not add truth to her words. Taesh decided to file that in the back of his mind. He did not know Avyra well enough to begin to pry into her personal life, and had no idea how she might react to such an attempt. Still it was in the Asha'man's nature to try and bring some degree of comfort to the distress, so he would not leave the subject alone for too long.

"Its unimportant. How's life as a Gray?"

The Head Clerk leaned back on the bench, stretching in pleasure before settling back to answer the question.

"Before I came here, so many years ago, I thought that there was no place greater than the Star Song. I like going to the different harbors, but nothing was better than my ship, and my clan. I dreamt about being a Swordmaster." Taesh stopped for a moment in his reflection and laughed at some hidden memory. "If I was feeling particularly bold I would play at being Master of the Blades. Now, not even being married to the Mistress of the Ships could satisfy me. The Tower is my Clan and the Grey my new Star Song."

Taesh stretch again, this time to not so subtlety turn to face Avyra. "Each of the Ajah's does something great, I'm sure, but I could be nothing but Grey. You should be there for some of the mediations we oversee. There's not a place in this world that a Grey hasn't had some influence, in my opinion. We make the waters smooth for the Tower to do what it must be done."

The fervor of Taesh's passion of his Ajah and it's cause was almost tangible. From the time he was a Soldier, and had met Derren Asha'man in the Library, he had known that the special grouping of channelers dedicated to peace and unity would be his eventual choice. That had become the leader of said group seemed appropriate, and he worked daily to make sure no Grey in the Tower would regret that decision.

"What about you Avyra? How are you fairing these days? No more hunts for mysterious murders I'm sure."

[Avyra]

The Accepted listened to him, having a touch of a hard time following his words with his peculiar language, but understanding the most of it. "If I was feeling particularly bold I would play at being Master of the Blades. Now, not even being married to the Mistress of the Ships could satisfy me. The Tower is my Clan and the Grey my new Star Song." Well, at least someone feels at home. He stretched a bit, turning to look at her. She hadn't seemed to relax once; her legs were tucked under the bench, as close to being curled up with them as she could be, and her hands neatly in her lap. It was very un-Avyra like. "What about you Avyra? How are you fairing these days? No more hunts for mysterious murders I'm sure." Maybe he was trying to get something out of her. She wouldn't let him. "I'm fine, I suppose. No more murders." But if I'm being honest, I wish there were. "I've been training birds of prey in my freetime and have been having some fun with that." She just shrugged it off, trying to pull the conversation back on him. What else had she been doing? Not much. "But you never answered my question. What's it like actually being an Asha'man?" Actually being important. She was beginning to think she'd never make it.

[Kenneth]

Taesh continued to look at Avyra as he contemplated an answer for her question. He didn't know if there was something specific that she was looking for, but he would give her his truth and go from there.

"If you are thinking that all the study ends, I can tell you it does not, it simply changes" Taesh began. "I find myself reading and researching just as much as before, only now its specific to my Ajah's cause. Everyday I'm looking up some law, or obscure custom. Or I'm trying to develop my Talents more, to be better used for the Grey, both Ajah and Tower."

Taesh turned back to look at the tree directly in front of him and the Accepted. "The biggest change though Avyra, is the responsibility. This Cord symbolizes to everyone in and out of the Tower, that now my words hold weight, my opinion holds authority. No man on the seas knows what it means to be Sailmistress, for your words to set the course of everyone. Well I know what it is like now. Anyone who doesn't have the Cord or Sash, they expect you to know what to do, to know what you are talking about. I'd be willing to bargain that half of the people I met, if I told them to jump into choppy water they would, fully expecting to come out ok. It is scary sometimes Avyra, but we never show it. At least we aren't suppose to."

[Avyra]

Avyra listened silently, focused intently on a stray leaf in the grass, following its movements in the slight breeze. It was stuck, trying to pull out of its bind, but whatever held it there kept it from moving along in the wind. Responsibility, even more than she already had, and was doing a poor job of it, was scary to her. Having to do things that people would look up to... that was a scary thing. But she wanted to be respected. Even the Novices, Soldiers, and Drin had no respect for her now, even with her ring. All she was to them was a little girl. "Honestly," she said softly. "That sounds nice." She fell silent, watching the leaf more. It was still struggling in the grass. "Responsibility sounds a little scary, but the rewards of having the rank seem to easily balance that out."

[Kenneth]

Taesh shook his head emphatically. "I don't know about easily balancing things out Avyra."

The Atha'an Miere didn't know exactly what the Accepted was trying to get at, or where her headspace was, but he did not want to fill her with a false sense of authority and freedom.

"It's not just responsibility, the work continues. If anything, I'd say the work truly begins once you are fully Raised. Everything you are learning now is leading you to become an Aes Sedai, but after, you are expected to be an Aes Sedai of the Grey Tower and whatever Ajah you choose. And, as sure as harbor master expects a ship to come in with a full haul, your Ajah expects you to work. Trust me, work you will. I had barely settled the Cord on my shoulders before I was overseeing mediations and disputes. I've read enough since being Raised on customs and laws to fill an entire clan's ships. Yes, it all balances, but it not so easy."

Taesh did a sweeping gaze of the Garden. It had become his sanctuary, the peace and tranquility of it reminded him of days of the sea, when the wind was just barely blowing, and his family was in no hurry to get to any port. He could just laze on the deck, as he lazed in the grass here, perfecting the near perfection of the Gardens with his Talent when possible.

"It is good that you have found something you enjoy, with the birds. Keep at it, you'll find that time that you are doing something only for you will be much cherished soon enough I'm sure."

The Asha'man of the Grey had no idea when Avyra would be called for her Testing, but he didn't think it could be too far off. Then he was no judge of aptitude or skill to really make such an assessment, not for what the Mistress of Novices must be looking for.

[Avyra]

Avyra sighed. "I don't care about the work. Sure it'll be hard and probably a little bit annoying but..." She paused, focusing back on the leaf. "At least I'd be noticed. At least I'd be respected. And that's what matters." The young Accepted pulled her hair out of her eyes, looking back to Taesh. "At this point I don't know if I'm ever going to make it. I feel like I'm going in circles. Sometimes I think I'm doing good, but then I just go back down." She paused. "I don't know if I'm on the right track. I don't get better at anything; and I can see the world passing me up with every day I spend." It hurt to admit, and she didn't know why she was suddenly telling him this. Maybe because he was so nice. "I don't think the birds help. They won't be useful later. I just like them." She paused. "But the more I try to fix things the more it falls apart." Avyra then laughed softly, her tone humorless. "I'm sorry. You don't want to hear me ramble."

[Kenneth]

Taesh gave Avyra a confused look. He did not know the Accepted well, but from he could remember of her, she did not seem like the self-doubting type. He did not know what had happened to her from the time they had last met, but something was obviously bothering the young woman. Perhaps it was the waiting to be Tested that was getting to her, but the Atha'an Miere knew he had no place to try and counsel her there, what the Aes Sedai did with their trainees was their affair. Still, he could at least attempt to boost her spirits.

"My mother used to say, that when you find yourself lost, you are exactly where you are suppose to be" he informed her. "When you have no idea where you are, then that's the perfect time to find yourself, and let everything find you. I do not know you well Avyra, but I have seen you make no hesitation to find a murderer and protect others. I can think of no reason why you would not make an excellent Aes Sedai, though I do not know if the life of a Grey would be what you are looking for" Taesh laughed.

"And who knows what you may discover with your birds, I somehow found a Talent that no one seems to have heard of until now. You may discover something similar. If you like it, then keep at it Avyra. You are just a valuable as everyone else in this Tower, don't think otherwise. I am not always found in my rooms, but you have an open invitation to find me anytime you need to talk. Let any of the Greys know, they will get the word to me."