A Splash of Yellow [attn; Bella]

[Avyra]

Avyra

Avyra was trying to find where she belonged. To be honest, she didn't know what would fit her. Indigo was out for sure, and she hadn't been able to meet with anyone on the Green Ajah yet. In fact, she didn't know anyone in the Green Ajah. But that was unimportant. Asha'man Gareth had told her to meet in his study for their meeting, so she was on her way there now, walking a bit slow. She was nervous. Well, Gareth wasn't any reason to be nervous. He had healed her once before and he had been very kind, if a bit intimidating at first. Actually a lot intimidating. But no, it wasn't him that she was nervous about. She didn't know if she could heal. She could, but she didn't have much talent for it. No Yellow had sought her out like they usually did. Maybe this was a mistake. She shouldn't have done this. But it was too late now. Too late to cancel. Avyra hesitated by the door. She could just say she was sick. Wait. She was meeting a Yellow. That wouldn't work. Sighing, she mentally prepared herself for anything that might happen before knocking on the door.

[Bella]

So many young men and women moved through the halls of the tower, not knowing which path they wanted to tread; or more specially, they didn't know which path they were meant to tread. Their heads were filled with ideas of destiny and instinct, when the truth was, it wasn't always like that. For Gareth, it had been. He had been fascinated by the healer woman in his home town, and wanted to help people.

It wasn't like that for everyone, though, and he tried to impart that wisdom. Still, he had spoken to many a young person wrestling with their hazy destinies and uncertain futures. He had a meeting with one such young person today, a young woman who had met in the infirmary some time back who had freely expressed her uncertainty.

He thought he heard someone approach his door, but the knock was so long in coming that he began to doubt his ears. When he did hear it, he smiled slightly. "Come in," he called, voice as low and rumbling as ever. When he saw Avyra enter, he waved at the chair before his desk. "Have a seat," he said, hoping to put her at ease.

[Avyra]

Avyra heard the familiar, rumbling voice behind the door tell her to enter, and she did what Gareth asked, opening the door and shuffling inside before giving a proper nod in greeting. "Have a seat." He motioned to the chair on the other side of the desk. At least his voice was calming to Avyra. She felt more at ease just by walking into the room. She did as he asked, taking a seat in the comfortable chair. He seemed relaxed, far more so than Elia's meeting had been. And since she knew a bit about healing, this shouldn't be too bad. Right? "I was wondering about the Yellow Ajah." She paused, thinking out her thoughts. "I'm not sure what Ajah would fit me. I'm not good at healing, I don't think. At least, not Yellow good. I'm okay I guess. I'm not too sure." She paused. "But I like helping people. I want to help people. I've been playing my flute in the gardens lately. Helping people recover from the attacks. Its been cheering me up; I love seeing others happy like that. I just don't know if I'm good enough at healing to be a Yellow." She paused. "What else is there in your Ajah?"

[Bella]

Calm and collected as always, Gareth sat and listened as a spiel of questions dropped from her lips. Statements and questions were mixed together, but fortunately, the Asha'man was used to having to follow people speaking at varying levels of coherence. It just took him a moment to sort out the things she was saying for what he needed to respond to.

Her final question helped narrow it down, at the least. "The Yellow does revolve entirely around helping people, but no, it is not all about the Healing weaves and the One Power. There is first aid, herbalism, triage, the health of the mind and emotion, helping people after injury and healing to make sure they get back to full strength, nursing them before and after a Healing..."

[Avyra]

Avyra nodded, listening to him until he didn't seem to have any other describable thoughts on her question. She still looked a bit unsure, however. This was a decision that would effect her entire life; would she be happy there? "Is there anything I could do to strengthen myself at healing?" She paused. "Especially if I'll be joining the Yellow Ajah. I don't want to be the odd one out and be the worst at it." There was her insecurity about it again. "I'm still not sure. Is there a way I could see the daily proceedings in the Ajah as an Accepted, then I can decide? Shadow you or another Yellow for the day?"

[Bella]

Gareth listened, and nodded. Her confusion and uncertainty was certainly not uncommon. While some young people in the Tower just knew where they wanted to be--he was one of them--many were uncertain and just looking for something, anything, to latch onto which could help them find their way. A lantern in the darkness of their youthful uncertainty.

"You can, yes," Gareth said. "You can volunteer to help out in the infirmary as well, you will just not be put on the task of healing." He paused before he moved on, "Consider, though, why would you wish to join the Yellow? Is it just because you like to help people? Because there are other ways to do that, from other Ajahs."

[Avyra]

"I..." Avyra started to say but then she shut her mouth, needing to sort her thoughts out. She still had no idea where to go and where she would fit in. Who would even want to have her in her Ajah? "I want to try out all my options before I choose. I've already tried some exploration in Indigo; it didn't work out. Yellow was next on my list of meetings I'm trying to plan out." She paused. "I just... I don't feel like I have a calling here. I don't feel like I fit anywhere." She sighed. "I'm sorry, Asha'man Gareth. I'm just repeating myself and rambling. That's not a very good impression of someone, especially if you'll be working with them for the rest of your life." She clenched and unclenched her skirts in a small fist, obviously very nervous. She was trying hard to hide it. "I'm trying to find something I can do to help someone. Something I'm good at. Or could be good at. That I'm not limited at based on my size. That happens all too often." She paused. "Healing... I could eventually learn, and even if I was dumb as a rock when it came to healing, I bet I could handle herbs and other remedies." She didn't think she'd be good in a lot of Ajahs. She considered being a Green, but her size posed a huge issue fighting. If she could use the Power she would make it, but if she ever had to fight without it... she was done for.

[Bella]

Gareth nodded slowly. She had apparently not found any better sense of self or purpose since the last time they had spoken, nor gotten over her foolish obsession with the idea that her size was a detriment. He should introduce her to Lysira Gaidar, if she wanted to see how size was no impediment to how one could fight. That woman had proven her worth without the One Power as a blade.

He had hoped this girl would've achieved some growth in the interim, but she seemed as lost as before.

Not that any of this showed on his face, of course. He'd been a channeler long enough to prevent such. "You are more than welcome to spend a day working with us in the infirmary, doing those things that do not require channeling. See how it feels, and if you find yourself any sort of fit for the work. Have you planned to approach other Ajahs and make similar excursions?"

[Avyra]

Avyra's expression brightened. She really did look better wearing a smile. In truth, she didn't know how good she would be at healing. But it was something that she felt would make her happy. That's what she wanted, really. For others to be happy. If that cheered her up, then she did a good job. She didn't quite deserve her own happiness. But even if Gareth saw nothing in her, which was probably true, she didn't see anything in her either, he was still offering a chance for her to learn. She would never turn that down. "I would love to, thank you so much!" She didn't quite know what she was feeling. Happy that Gareth had offered her a chance, but also knowing deeply that she probably wouldn't be good at the job. "Just give me a time and date and I'll be back here." She paused. "I've been wanting to do it with other Ajahs. I've just been a little nervous, is all. I know you, so I wasn't too nervous meeting here, but I don't know many other fully raised Aes Sedai or Asha'man." She paused. "Its just easier for me to look at my options here first, Asha'man Gareth."

[Bella]

Gareth nodded. The reasoning was sound, but if she had any interest in other Ajahs, he knew that she should pursue them as well. "I have some kin, by law, here in the Tower in other Ajahs that I could put you in contact with if those Ajahs were of interest. One is a Blue, and the other is a Grey. I know a Green as well, but I don't imagine you'd be comfortable meeting her." The thought of this child having a conversation with the Amyrlin almost amused him, though he did not show it.