Underneath It All (Attn: Astarte)

[Craig]

Ravak

In the Master of Training's office, a fire roared in spite of the warmth outside. A small window was cracked open just enough to let a gentle breeze in, but the room was still toasty. Rav sprawled in his leather-backed chair in front of the fireplace, reading The Silk Road - A Bridge Through the Spine of the World. Subconsciously, he clutched onto his longsword, hidden from view behind his desk. The chair, the desk, and most of the furnishings were Shienaran in style, if not manufacture. Hard edges and clean lines were everywhere, all built from solid oak.

A knocking at the door stirred his attention away from the book. He placed the book in one of the desk's drawers, using a letter opener to mark his page. He glanced at the iridescent quill and inkwell that lay on his desk, surrounded by sheafs of paperwork, open letters, and a few large ledgers. It looked like a mess, but it was organised chaos. Rav had enough clear space to work on anything but one of the ledgers.

"Come," he beckoned, as he smoothed out the wrinkles in his dark grey uniform. He had the freedom to wear whatever he liked, now that he was Gaidin. However as Master of Training it seemed fitting that he wore the same uniform as the people under his supervision, albeit in a blacker shade to denote his seniority. That and the fancloak which he wore even now. And the golden pin - the laurel wreathed sword - that was a symbol of his office.

The door opened to emit one of the liveried servants. "Betrys Sedai is here to see you, Master Darrow." Despite himself, Rav rose to his feet. Master of Training may have the equivalent position as Mistress of Novices, but he still wasn't sure if that meant he had precedence over a Sister of the Tower. Mentally, he shrugged. For a friend, it didn't matter, and for the rest, Daes Dae'mar had no place within the four walls of his office.

Again, despite himself - but she is a friend - he saluted hand-on-heart as she entered. "Betrys Sedai. It is a pleasure." He gestured to the matching leather-backed chair on the opposite side of his desk, before looking back at the servant. "Can you bring some tea in for the Sister and me, thank you." Once the servant started to turn to leave, Rav sunk back into his chair. "It is good to see you raised to the shawl."

[Astarte]

She had so little time for herself anymore and while Betrys couldn't object to being so busy all the time it did mean she neglected the people who were important in her life - at least that was how she felt about it. This visit to the Master of Training would be a chance to spend time catching up and also open up some practical discussions about her own needs.

So, not completely selfish and Betrys was pleased that she had this opportunity to merge the two current desires in her life.

"Master Darrow; it seems like another age when we first met. We are rather different now, hmm?" Betrys admitted, allowing a smile to curve her lips and brighten her face up at the same time. She had no regrets about becoming a full Sister and she was pleased to see her friend achieving such success as well. It was strange to now two of the people she knew fairly well (admittedly Rav was less well) holding such important and privileged positions in the Tower. She was pleased for them. Betrys was also proud for them as well, even if she still worried about Mirin and the strangeness of that last conversation between the two of them.

She moved to settle on a chair and nodded "How are you settling in?" she asked, looking around the room and admiring for a while the intricate detail on the windows that rested either side of his desk.

[Craig]

Ravak

"We are rather different now?" The Yellow Sister made a thoughtful sound. It had been a long time since their first encounter in the Gardens. That had only been a short time after he had come to the Tower too, still nervous and bowing at everyone and everything. He returned the smile before her next question came. "How are you settling in?"

"Quite well, I think." Rav heard the hint of doubt in his own voice. Internally, he grimaced. "Well," he continued with a definite tone of chagrin, "this wasn't quite how I envisaged spending my time after earning my fancloak. Little good it does me here, sitting in a chair." Admittedly, he actually rather liked his chair, and the roaring fire that crackled behind him. It reminded him of time stretched out in front of the grand fireplace downstairs, but this was his chair and his fireplace.

He was able to garner enough cheer from that to carry on in a more upbeat manner. "It is quite a change from taking lessons and practicing in the Yards all day. I don't think you recognise how much work goes into running a small army until you're put in charge of all this." He gestured to all of the papers and books and ledgers on his desk. "But it is an honour to serve the Warder Yard in whatever way I can. I don't have any business elsewhere, and it's not like I have an Aes Sedai to serve and protect." The words slipped out of his mouth before he fully thought through his current company. He scratched at his beard with slight anxiety. "I suppose you will be looking for a Gaidin or Gaidar yourself now, Betrys Sedai?"

[Astarte]

It seemed that lately she had spent rather a lot of time catching up with people only to find out how much had changed not only in respect of her own person but also in their own lives as well.

It sometimes amazed Betrys at the way an individual could grow during their time here at the Tower - she was no longer the simple Brewer's daughter, although in her own case a small part of that girl remained at the heart of who Betrys was but for others that was no longer the case. They had altered completely.

All of which only reinforced the impression that everyone had their own path to walk, it was only sometimes that they came together to walk along for a time but such internal reflection didn't resolve the reason for her visit. Which he'd managed to hit on the head with little effort; not that Betrys had presented some secretive reasoning behind her choice for coming here in the first place, not that she wasn't glad to see him and perhaps they could still catch up as well as talk about a possible Warder as well "It cannot be so terrible to hold such a position, you wear it well" she was sure he would still have challenges and the like in the future, after all the Wheel turned and no one could say where that might end up taking you in time "I am, I wanted to ask about...choosing and such. I've worked with a couple of gaidin now, but I would like something more formal and permanent" she explained.

[Craig]

Ravak

He really shouldn't have been surprised by Betrys' reply, but Rav still found himself twisting the golden ring on his finger apprehensively. "...more formal and permanent." Why under the Light would he baulk now from such a topic; he who had been - continued to - seek out female channellers to befriend for exactly this reason.

Rav crossed his hands over his stomach to stop himself fidgeting. "I see," he said gingerly. "Well, I'm not the Gaidar Captain. Amayani Gaidar will have a full list of unbonded Gaidin if that is what you are after."

Any fleeting chance to sidestep this meeting ended when the servant returned with a tray. Two cups sat on saucers, with a teapot, spoons, cream and honey on the side. The liveried servant set the tray down on the clear portion of the desk, before bowing their way out. What felt like an uneasy silence lingered as he poured out the two cups of tea, firstly for Betrys, then for himself. If I can't be comfortable speaking about this with Betrys, who would I be comfortable with? The answer was no-one. No Aes Sedai at least.

"As for choosing, that's entirely between the Aes Sedai and the bondmate in question. There is no procedure for deciding upon a bond, and no ceremony that I know of when it comes to the... event itself." Truth be told, he didn't know how bonding worked precisely, beyond the use of the One Power and what benefits it brought. Were Asha'man and Aes Sedai taught more beyond how to make a bond?

Taking a sip of the hot drink, he continued. "I've only accompanied one Aes Sedai outside of the Tower thus far. Having a purpose beyond training, having a mission, that was... fulfilling." Rav took in Betrys' soft smile and her youthful, not yet ageless face. He offered a smile above his cup. "Fulfilment. That's what I would help me choose a bondmate."

[Astarte]

She knew who to ask but she knew Rav and that made his opinions worth the time to consider and ask about, not that she'd come right out and say that to him. It wasn't a matter of pride but rather that Betrys trusted the people she knew to give her honest advice and some useful pointers - at least it had never let her down in the past.

As the tea arrived she took up the cup, holding it in both hands and breathing in the scent before she sipped the heated liquid held within. She'd noticed his twisting of his ring, but as observant as she was that didn't mean that Betrys was interested or inclined to pry into something which he hadn't started any sort of discussion about "Oh, I agree, though some help wouldnae be unwelcome" she murmured in reply, sipping more of the tea in her cup as she allowed it's warmth and taste to soothe and relax the smallest amount of tension from her body as they started to settle into a proper conversation "Which makes it personal then? I suppose I'll need to speak tae a few and see if wouldnae object to spending time hunting herbs and cleaning up blood and mess..." Betrys remarked. It was not a path that she imagined that Rav would welcome but his view and opinions certainly helped her own thinking.

"Are you considering anyone?" perhaps she could help in return "You dinnae hae to say, I just wondered if ya learned more bout the bond?" something that Betrys knew about in learning if not the practical end of things, although her experience with Healing gave her an idea of what might be going on with it.

[Craig]

Ravak

A slightly embittered look crossed the Master of Training's face before he smoothed it out. There had been someone once, but not any more. He shook his head. "No, I am not considering anyone. Entertaining some foolish notions, maybe, but nothing that resembles a firm decision. Not that the decision would be mine alone."

Rav shifted, scratching at his beard. "And as for personal, I absolutely believe the bond and the decision about bonding has to be. From my viewpoint, I'm dedicating my life, my entire life, into the service of another person. This goes well beyond the sort of oaths people make for their wedding vows. Take ourselves as an example." Once again he regretted words spilling out of his mouth before thought reached them, but he was committed now. "If we were to bond, I would be in your service, even if the Grey Tower sees Aes Sedai and Gaidin as equals. The bond allows you to compel me as if the thoughts and actions I performed were my own. If you wanted me to come to you straight away, you could literally force me to attend." A grimace started to edge its way onto his face, but he didn't stop it. "Whilst that may not be custom, there is nothing to actually stop you from doing it. I could be a puppet on strings."

"There are of course other considerations. Compelling me to do as you will may be the most galling aspect, but your safety would be a greater concern for me than my own well-being. However, that is a Warder's purpose. If death befell you, my own death would certainly follow, just as night follows day. As I understand it, it is exceptionally rare for a Warder to survive their bondmate's passing, and even if one did, they would be broken of spirit." A shudder ran through the Shienaran, but aside from the grimace, he didn't let it show.

"There is also the... emotional link between the bondmates. I would be able to sense your feelings as if they were my own, and vice versa. I can see problems arising from that. You may never be able to lie outright, but I could sense the evasion through the bond. If there was a disagreement between us, I could see the reflected anger escalating the situation to a dangerous place. I'm guessing a lot could be said about finding someone of a similar temperament to yourself, to ensure that the clashing emotions don't end up being unhealthy. That's one reason to get to knowing your future Warder before considering the bond."

He started to realise how grim this conversation had become. "My apologies Betrys Sedai. Sometimes my mouth runs away before I recognise what's coming out." He offered something that didn't quite reach a comforting smile. "But I guess if you wanted to know more about the bond, well, that's at least some of the thoughts that occupy my time." He settled back into his chair, supping on his tea. Grim thoughts indeed. But if she wasn't already aware of the commitment and sacrifice being made in her name, she does now.

[Astarte]

While she wasn't about to ask why that look had arrived, let alone the original source of the comment that he delivered afterwards, as much as Betrys regarded him as a friend, it was not for her to pry into something that was clearly very personal and also apparently rather painful as well - at least that was the impression which was made in those first moments "Nae decision that affects people so deeply should ever be made alone; I'd hope tae never possess the arrogance tae believe I'd the right tae do as much" she replied softly, not clear about the bitterness she was hearing but hoping her reply would assist in softening things just a little bit.

Nothing he spoke now was new or unknown to her, the ability to command the Warder was something that Betrys had been told about, something that she'd never imagined would be necessary but had accepted would be part of the bond - even if it did seem rather one-sided and biased towards the Aes Sedai or at least the one forming the bond.

"Yer welcome to such thoughts, we all have such moments and no-one can alter what is felt within...but it's clear that yer ken far more about the bonds than yer did when I first arrived and met - we've grown since then" she replied, not worried about how negative or dark it might seem, the way he explained it gave her the impression that anyone who had been concerned with forming a bond with him had not perhaps taken the kindest of routes towards such matters but that didn't mean it was her right to object or to judge negatively about it, instead she nodded and accepted what he said.

As much as she hoped for a strong bond and one that would bring good and help into her life, Betrys appreciated that he could be so open with her about what he saw about the bond "Are you worried about that then? Sorry, that isnae my business but if yer wanting to talk some about it I wouldnae mind listening" she replied, sipping from her tea "It's been helpful to hear your perspective but I doubt it will make a decision easier though perhaps that is only the right thing..." she admitted and smiled gently.

[Craig]

Ravak

"Worried about, what, bonding?" He took a sip of his tea, then set the cup down on the saucer. "As you said, I hope not to have such a level of arrogance that I'd make that decision alone, nor have someone make that decision for me. And as no-one has approached me concerning bonding, it's not something that I worry about too deeply." Rav gestured at the office with his left hand. "Furthermore, who would wish to bond someone with the trappings of this office? I can't exactly protect them at all hours when I'm here throughout each day."

Hefting it up with his injured hand, Rav rested his scabbarded longsword across the arms of his chair. He angled it, so that the Great Serpent inscribed along the crossguard was visible to Betrys. "It's funny. When I received this weapon from the forges, I looked that this-" he gestured to the inscription with his shorn finger, "-and I thought to myself 'I shall bond an Aes Sedai one day, and that will be my duty'. We've spoken before of duty, I'm sure." A genuine and warm smile crossed the Shienaran's face. "By her side, I thought I would be able to fulfil all of my oaths. My oath to defend the Blightborder, my oath to fight against the Shadow, and my oath to the Grey Tower."

He rotated the sword, so that the other side faced the Yellow. This face of the crossguard had the conjoined symbol of the Fang and the Flame, the ancient symbol of the Aes Sedai, and the motif of the Grey Tower. He tapped at the sinuous circle. "I didn't expect that this oath to the Grey Tower would supersede my duty to..." He paused, the smile widening in mockery. "Well, my assumed duty to my bondmate. I may be trapped behind this desk for quite a time before anyone thinks to snap me up and free me of this office." He took hold of the golden pin on his lapel. To himself he murmured "Such a little thing."

Ravak gripped the sword by the scabbard, and returned it to concealment behind his desk, evading Betrys' grey eyes as he gathered himself. He wanted to summon some of the bluster that his sister oft possessed, but that wasn't his way. Too serious...

"And what of yourself, Betrys Sedai?" The Shienaran looked at the Aes Sedai now, grey-blue eyes calm once more. "As you seek for something more permanent, what is it that you are looking for? And what of the Gaidin you have already travelled with? Did either of them have qualities that you are looking for in your Warder?"

[Astarte]

It had become serious but then again, the previous conversation had been one which had gone much the same way. Truthfully Betrys didn't mind, the topic was a serious one after all. Bonding should never be undertaken lightly and certainly now without a period of careful reflection upon both of those involved - she supposed a degree of thanks should exist that she was not of the Green Ajah, picking one was certainly a hard enough decision without the additional burdens of choosing another or another...

The thought almost distracted her, as her mind imagined some endless hoard all tied up and linked together in unbreakable bonds between them all. It was almost enough to create a headache but Betrys held it in check by instead focusing on him and what was actually being said at that particular moment. When they'd spoken before Betrys had not placed him in this vocation but it seemed to suit him well enough, at least enough that she could be confident he was...happy? Content might well be a more appropriate word though given that he was hardly bursting with the appearance of joy, she knew how strange the path life could take a body upon as the Wheel turned on the course the Creator had set out for it to take. She had long since surrender to that being the case.

Though surrender was something Betrys had learned to be skilled with accomplishing as she embraced the One Power "I've made no decisions about a final choice. I suppose the longest time was with Gaidin Prewtez d’Grayson, we seemed to work well together and parted at the end with some new experiences and mutual respect" it had been overall a strange and very personal journey, one that had ensured the pair of them had learned more about each other than Betrys would have perhaps imagined (or preferred) to have been the case - at least at the beginning - she regretted nothing though.

"The other Gaidin...it was different. I was attending to a matter of urgency and the trip was rendered more complex given the location, I doubt it would be a suitable means of finding a long term partner" at least not for Betrys.