The Meaning of Blue (Attn: Bella) COMPLETE

[Jenny]

There were few Blue sisters at the Grey Tower. Seeking one out was no easy task. But one day, as Mirin stepped out of a classroom, she saw a woman wearing a blue-fringed shawl swaying down the hall.

Mirin walked quickly, the banded hem of her skirts swishing around her feet. She did not call out after the Aes Sedai – that was simply not polite. She fell into step behind the Aes Sedai, positioning herself so that the woman could not fail to notice her, but also without rudely inserting herself into the woman’s personal space.

When the Blue sister finally stopped, Mirin spread her skirts and curtsied, her head lowered politely in deference.

“Forgive me for interrupting your walk, Aes Sedai,” she murmured. “My name is Mirin Ronaile and I was raised to Accepted several months ago. I have been learning about the Ajahs, but have not had a chance to speak with a Blue sister. May I meet with you sometime to discuss the Blue Ajah?”

Mirin glanced up at the woman’s face to read her expression, and her throat tightened to strangle a scream. Angry scars crawled up the left side of the Aes Sedai’s face. The thin tendrils were red and raw. What under the Light could do that? Poison, Mirin thought. But why would it only affect half of her body?

After working in the infirmary for a few months, Mirin had to resist the habit of embracing saidar and Delving the injury. Thankfully her stomach had not expelled its contents, but it still squeezed uncomfortably. She managed to smooth her expression, and waited nervously for the Blue sister’s response.

[Bella]

Nykkolaia Zeran Sedai People did not just come up to her.

The sudden presence of the Accepted falling in step with her surprised Nykk, although she of course did not let it show. She never let it show, except with one person. Only one, and for reasons far more emotionally dramatic than a young girl wishing to discuss something with a Blue Aes Sedai. The girl was pretty, though Nykk found almost every other woman pretty compared to herself. She showed the proper deference, although that look in the eye... She hid it fast, but Nykk was too used to seeing it.

Everyone who had not seen her before, and even many of those who had, showed that same reaction to the inhuman, unnatural scars that crawled along her face. Her pale eyes held the girl's, this...Mirin Ronaile's. She remained silent for a long moment, considering. But then, she knew that it was something of a duty while remaining in the Tower to discuss and represent the Blue.

"I would be happy to assist you, child," Nykk replied flatly. "You may walk with me a while if you like, or we can arrange an appointment for another time if that suits you better."

[Jenny]

Mirin did not dare glance away as the Aes Sedai held her gaze. Those pale blue eyes, cold and wise, did not looked pleased. In fact, they show no emotion at all. Aes Sedai lived long lives, and often saw more hardship than ordinary women; but for some reason, Mirin was sure that the woman standing before her, watching her with those hard, cold eyes, had seen much more than even most sisters.

Long minutes seemed to pass as the Blue sister considered her request. A bead of sweat trickled uncomfortably down the back of Mirin’s dress. When the Aes Sedai finally spoke, Mirin let out a breath that she hadn’t known she was holding.

Mirin had another class later in the day, but had an hour to spare. She dropped another curtsy. “I will walk with you, Aes Sedai,” she said.

She wondered if she should ask the woman’s name, but decided that should be up to the sister’s discretion. Mirin’s mind was strangely blank. A few minutes ago, she had been overflowing with questions about the Blue Ajah. Now it seemed though all of those questions had flown out of her head. Instead, she was boiling with questions about the mysterious woman walking beside her. But no, it would be imprudent to pry into the life of an Aes Sedai. Mirin swallowed her curiosity and refocused on the topic at hand. She waited for the other woman to begin the conversation, deferring to the Aes Sedai.

[Bella]

Nykk didn't know if she was relieved or disappointed. She had rather speak to anyone now, and yet it wasn't something she would have wished to defer. Her inward moods could be fickle like the weather, although never further than the confines of her own heart. Why so irritable today, Nykk? she thought, but she had a good idea of the why.

"My name is Nykkolaia Zeran Sedai," she finally introduced herself as they began walking. "What questions about the Blue do have, child? I will answer them as best I'm able, though understand that while the Blue has a solitary mission, it--perhaps more than most Ajahs--also exists upon the idea that each Brother and Sister pursues their own causes as well."

[Jenny]

“Thank you for speaking with me, Nykkolaia Sedai.”

Mirin walked beside the Aes Sedai. Luckily, Nykkolaia was only a couple inches taller than herself, so Mirin did not need to hurry to keep up. At the Grey Tower, most women, and all the men, were taller than her. More often than not, she had to run to keep up with a brisk walk.

But not today. She walked, grateful that she did not need to sit and face the Aes Sedai. She didn’t know if she could keep herself from staring at the woman’s scars.

The Blue Ajah, she thought, forcing herself to focus. Why would I choose the Blue? So far, it had been a process of elimination. After speaking with a Green sister, Mirin already knew that she could never choose Green – she had no stomach for battle. The chaos of war terrified her. Likewise, she could never choose White. While she valued rational thought and logic, Mirin had a passionate soul and believed that emotion was an important consideration in even logical decisions. Besides, she wanted to change the world, and members of the White Ajah generally remained cloistered in their halls, forsaking worldly affairs to focus on their pursuits of philosophy and truth.

One-by-one, she had also eliminated the other Ajahs. But Mirin knew that she could not commit to the Blue simply by default. No, the choice of an Ajah should not be taken so lightly. She needed to choose the Blue with careful deliberation and purpose.

And to do so, she needed to learn about it.

The questions spilled out. “What do Blue sisters do? What qualities do the Blue Ajah look for in its aspirants? And what does it mean to be of the Blue Ajah?”

[Bella]

Nothing like an easy conversation to keep the day rolling along, Nykk thought wryly. These were not surprising questions, nor were they one that she had never heard of, but they still were not simple ones. They were just a few steps down from asking what the meaning of life is, and so it was not something she replied to off-the-cuff. She considered her answers, and somewhat the woman beside her.

The Accepted was not one she knew at all, so she could only base her understanding off the girl next to her, and there hadn't been enough time to judge that.

"What each Sister, or Brother, of the Blue does is down to each individual. The cause of the Blue in general, and in the most succinct description, is that of justice. What that means beyond that is to the individual. Each one of us chooses our particular causes and then pursue them." She almost began to discuss herself, but determined against it.

She paused and considered the remaining question. "The Blue looks for qualities such as passion, dedication. To be a Blue, you must be willing to attach yourself to a matter, willing to determine the right or wrong of it, and then have the ability to see it through. You must be steadfast, and cannot be easily swayed. You must be an Aes Sedai who could well have to stand in the face of great power and promote your just cause against opposition.

"You must be wise. We are not like the Greys and asked to be negotiators, but we are called to be counsel to power. You must be strong and firm of purpose in such times." She paused again, to let all that sink in. You cannot be weak, she thought to herself. Or easily broken. I suppose it helps to be broken to begin with.

[Jenny]

Mirin suppressed a smile. The common theme seemed to be that Blues were dedicated and stubborn. Dedicated to a righteous cause, and stubborn about seeing it through. She could relate to that. She despised people who made promises without following through.

Nykkolaia Sedai had listed a few qualities that the Blue Ajah sought. Passion. Dedication. Wisdom. Mirin’s lips tightened as she considered the last quality. Her study of history had shown her that it was one thing to be clever, and quite another to be wise. Many rulers were clever, at least enough to attain and keep their thrones. But few of them used their power wisely.

She thought carefully as she spoke. “Yes, I can see why a counsel to power must be wise,” she said. “But do the Blues teach wisdom? Yellows teach Healing, Greys teach negotiation, and Greens teach the art of war. What does the Blue teach?”

There was a slight pause, and then she continued, “Perhaps you should know that I have a particular interest in history, especially when it concerns politics. I find the rise and fall of countries and kings absolutely fascinating. Although I once considered the Brown Ajah, I decided against it because I am not interested in the histories for the sake of knowledge. I am interested because I find wisdom written in the achievements and mistakes of the past. And I believe that the wisdom of the past should be used to change the world, here and now. Nykkolaia Sedai, is this anything similar to what you mean by wisdom?”

Her brows furrowed. Had she spoken too much? She wondered if Nykkolaia would be willing to share her own cause, and decided to test the waters.

“Are the causes of the Blue Ajah kept secret?” she asked. Another thought occurred to her. “With each member pursuing a different path, what binds the Blue Ajah together?

[Bella]

This girl is talking a lot, Nykkolaia reflected as she listened to explanations and questions, continuing with more of the latter before their former versions had even been answered. Not that any of these inner workings were reflected in her expression or her gaze, both of which were perfectly impassive while she continued to listen until the Accepted finally seemed to stop.

"To answer your first question," the Aes Sedai began after a few moments of reflection, "the Blue does not teach wisdom, at least I do not, because I do not believe that true wisdom can be taught but for the efforts of experience. Live life, pay attention, try to learn from that which happens around you, and if you're not too much of an inborn idiot to begin with...wisdom will come."

She knew her words were not precisely pretty, but they were the truth. She could obfuscate with the best, but the girl wanted to know about the Blue. Nykkolaia would tell of what she knew.

"Your idea of learning wisdom by looking at the past is a good start, however. Learn from their mistakes and try to replicate their successes, taking the time since to judge actions for which was which. What might have been deemed a success of its time could be looked back on from now as the opposite. Wisdom can be knowing that difference."

She paused again then, thoughtful. "No, the Blues' causes are not kept secret. At least not by Ajah decree. Some Brothers and Sisters may choose to keep their works to themselves, but that's personal preference. What bonds us is the fact that we have those causes, we have the need to fulfill justice. Considering the justice of the Ajah to be the large cause that binds us, then we each take a piece to see it through."

[Jenny]

Mirin noticed the time that the Aes Sedai took to carefully consider her questions. Nykkolaia was a thoughtful woman, and her words carried weight. With every minute, the Blue Ajah seemed to become a more and more attractive choice. In the Blue, Mirin could find like-minded men and women who strove to change the world. In the Blue, she could find others who also valued passion, dedication, and justice. In the Blue, she could find a use for her abilities.

The two women came to a lull in the conversation. It was almost time for Mirin's next class. The Accepted curtsied. "Thank you so much for speaking with me, Nykkolaia Sedai," she said respectfully. "I appreciate your time and advice. I need to go teach a class in a few minutes, but I have one last question. I hope that it is not rude to ask."

She hesitated for a brief moment, and then took the plunge. "What brought you to choose the Blue?"

[Bella]

At first, relief had entered Nykkolaia at the idea that this conversation was about to come to an end. She appreciated the girl a little better now because she had not made it linger too long and had not asked stupid questions on top of the answers that the Aes Sedai had given her, but that charity quickly passed with the final question.

Nothing good comes after someone says "I hope that it is not rude to ask", Nykk reflected.

She stared at the Accepted with cool, pale eyes until she felt sure that she had done so long enough to make her regret asking. Then the very corners of her lips rose in what was a distant and yet still distinctly...unpleasant smile. She made an economical gestured at the scars trailing from her hairline into her neckline on the left side of her face.

"These," she said, "and that which caused them has led me to seek justice for others." Letting that sink in for a moment, she inclined her head slightly but kept her gaze locked with Mirin's. "Good luck to you, Accepted," she said coolly and then walked off, not letting any more "rude" questions be asked.