Hope Extinguished [Closed/PM to Join]

[Roan]

Riahana Gaidin

Ria flashed Alrim a small, wry smile, “You asked what I would do in your shoes, and I answered honestly. I’m not suggesting it is the path you should walk, nor would I, as a rule, encourage one of our Ji’val to go on a mission of revenge. I’m sure the Amyrlin and M’Hael would not approve if I were to do such a thing.

“Having said that, we afford our mid-ranks a bit more freedom than we do our learning ranks. I see no reason why you shouldn’t be able to visit home. You are allowed to grieve, Alrim Farhsera. I will give you my approval, though you will also need to speak with the Master of Training. I will have a word with him, though I doubt it is necessary. We are a firm but fair lot, despite what some might think,” Ria tried to reassure the man before her.

Looking around the dingy bar, and the small area set aside for fights, Ria found herself wondering if many of the learning ranks came here during their time off, or if this was a one-off by Alrim? It wasn’t one of the more reputable inns in Hama Valon, but she knew it wasn’t as bad as some places in some of the bigger cities.

“So tell me. . .are you inclined to continue fighting those who’d dare match you in that excuse of a ring behind me, and drink yourself into a stupor, or are you perhaps ready to head back to the Tower? After a night’s sleep, you can meet the Master of Training tomorrow and arrange a leave to head home. I won’t stop you, though, if you are inclined to carry on.”

[Andy]

He blinked as he watched her, watched the smile that reminded him a little of the one he gave when faced with something distasteful. It was a fair reflection of both the situation and the Ji sat before her. No one liked dealing with such things but it was necessary and, at times, one could find a dark sort of humour in it. He knew h would do so himself in time, but not now. Not yet. He did consider her question too, part of him really did want to stay and pummel himself and others into oblivion. It was more inviting than dealing with the pain. He was only a man. Am I though? Isn't it what I always did? Run away and leave others to deal with the mess? Have I tried so hard just to come back around to where I started? he asked himself, the searching question he had tried to answer since his raising. Was he worth it? Had he changed? "I wonder how we will all hold together when the Shadow falls and burns everyone's homes. Whenever that is," he mused aloud, "I wonder if our rules will hold then. I guess I would stay, I have nowhere else to go now. Can't speak for anyone else. I know that it would feel better to stay and fight here, in this pitiful excuse for a ring" he managed his own wry smile back at her. He placed the bottle to one side and tapped his fingers upon the wood a few times before pushing himself up and finishing the last of a half-filled cup form earlier and placing it very carefully down upon the table, upside down. He was finished, for now. He winced as he shifted too, bruises and cuts mad their presence known and seemed to enjoy punishing him for his prior abandon. He stepped to the side and out from the table. "I thank you for your approval and for the words. And the counsel. And not sending me flying out of the ring painfully. Perhaps one day I will be able to repay you for the kindness Mistress. Until then I think I am ready to go back. Have enough Drin and Ji wanting to hit me about these days, not sure I need this place anymore" he managed another smile though there was little mirth in it. It was a quiet walk back to the Tower, the Mistress of Arms made some conversation but mostly she wanted to make sure he got back safely and actually went back into his rooms he thought. He didn't begrudge her that, it was her job and by rights she could have skinned him alive with punishments. He was glad she hadn't and grateful. He had seen a gentler side to her which from the stories was non-existent. He supposed she needed to have that aura and the least he could do was keep it that way. Besides which he was not sure he wanted anyone to know about one of the lowest moments of his life and that he hadn't reacted with much honour. As he slumped into his bunk he resolved to do better. "For the Farshera" he mumbled to the room as he sank into sleep.