Silence, Sulking, Sweeping & Strangers [Attn: Dedicated Alric Aurella]

[Bella]

Andraste Alhandra was...sulking, for lack of a better word.

She didn't think she had sulked since coming to the Grey Tower, not that she could recall. She had grieved and she had been annoyed, but she couldn't recall ever sulking. It wasn't something she'd spent much time on since she was a little girl. Her brothers had teased her mercilessly whenever she did, so she had learned to move away from it.

Now, however, she found herself indulging. This...block thing was wretched. A path had been so clearly before her and now what? And of course the path to learning of it had just been one humiliation after another.

Did she develop it, or just now discover it? Everyone seemed to suggest the latter, but it seemed impossible that she wouldn't have known about it before now. What could have changed to affect her ability to channel? Was it possible that the Arches had somehow...damaged her in this sort of way? She'd asked and been told no, but what else could it be.

Presently, she was sweeping the halls. The mundane task seemed suited to her ill mood, though even that wore thin. She let out a heavy breath and paused, leaning back against the wall and wondering what was going on with her life now... It didn't take long before her frustrated vented itself. "Burn it!" she exclaimed and threw the broom on the floor.

[Locke]

Alric Aurella Alric Aurella and an alliterative Accepted associate

Strap on your helmet and fall back in line soldier. It was a mantra of sorts. He’d said it throughout his career and and had it said to him. It was the only thing that kept him going sometimes. He just hadn’t expected to have to say it just to get out of bed. He just, didn’t know what he was supposed to do anymore. That familiar aimlessness was creeping back, but he refused to lay down and die. He just had to face it. Affie was gone. He thought he understood why she’d left, their widening gap in rank was bound to cause trouble, but it didn’t change the fact that she’d taken a sizable chunk of his heart when she left. Still, he wouldn’t lay down and die.

It had been a few weeks since and most who didn’t know him wouldn’t have noticed anything out of place. His boots were still polished to a milky shine, his uniform creased, without a single loose thread. He didn’t however have a purpose. Well he did, become an Asha’man. Then what? He hadn’t realized until recently all the subtle ways she’d shifted his perspectives. He hadn’t known where he was headed before, but at least he had something to ground him.

These days, he seemed to just wander between his duties like a ghost, tending to sleep during his free periods and haunt the library at night. Today was one of his increasingly rare daytime excursions. He’d been assisting Desra Sedai with her pea plants. They were preparing to plant a new generation. Usually, that sort of work would remind him of home and similar projects with Javier but today... today was different. He just kept poking at the open wound in his heart where Affie had been. He was planning on heading back to his room and just sleeping for an hour or two when he heard the clatter of a wooden shaft hitting the ground followed by profanity. Alric, unusually checked out from his surroundings, turned, hand going to his sword and seizing saidin. He relaxed as he realized, it hadn’t in fact been a spear hitting the ground but a broom.

Goodness Aurella, he thought to himself as he took in the rest of the situation. Andraste stood fuming, glaring at the broom she’d just thrown down. He couldn’t say he knew her very well, but the outburst seemed, out of place. He was tempted to keep walking but, no. That would just be continuing his funk. Strap on your helmet and back in formation. If something was wrong, he wouldn’t let one of his fellows suffer alone. So he walked over.

Stooping to pick up the broom, he said, “I’m sure the broom isn’t your enemy.” The levity was forced, but she didn’t need his aching and moaning. Leaning against the wall next to her, he said, “Who’d you piss off to be sweeping floors?” There were only so many reasons an Accepted would be sweeping.

[Bella]

The sudden appearance of another body in the hallway caused her own body to seize up, but then she recognized the face. "Alric," she said in a gust of breath, her body sagging. She didn't know him very well at all, but she knew enough to know. She blew out another breath and took the broom so he didn't have to hold it.

She almost started crying, but she kept herself together from that. She looked at him and wondered just how much he would even want to know. They weren't good friends, and she was sure he had his own problems...but he had asked, so she'd at least answer.

"I'm not good for much else right now," she said, sounding as sulky as she felt. She had been taught better than that. Taking a deep breath, she straightened her body slightly and lifted her head to meet his gaze. "I have a block," she said it bluntly. "It just developed, or was just found, after I became Accepted. Now I can't do any of my channeling lessons, so I'm doing this in some of that time."

[Locke]

Alric Aurella

“Strange,” Alric said voice becoming distant, “Blocks don’t tend to develop. I think. I know about as much about blocks as the rest of the Tower. Maybe on a more personal level though.” This was an oddity. The sort of thing he tended to latch onto and pick apart. He didn’t quite feel his usual passion, but there was a spark of something. He sized it like a life raft.

Questions were already spinning in his head. He didn’t have a theory yet, but maybe he could figure something out with a few questions. “Well, blocks tend to be tied to a specific behavior, mindset, or possession. What have you changed since becoming an Accepted…” his voice trailed off thoughtfully. “Monocolored dresses!” he said, in a burst of inspiration. “You were wearing a white dress everyday when you could channel right?” The flicker of excitement began to fade as he realized how ridiculous that was, but he did his best to keep the encroaching feeling of ennui at bay. “That’s probably not it, but it’s a place to start,” he said with a shrug.

[Bella]

She watched his expression as he thought through her problem out loud. She hadn't intended to draw him into it like that, but he had clearly seized upon it himself. Maybe he liked a mystery. Lucky her. She listened to his thoughts and her dark brows rose and fell appropriately, even as she bit the inside her lip.

"I can't imagine how my dress has anything to do with it," she agreed. "I tried to embrace while wearing my nightshift and I had no better luck than when wearing the banded dress."

Looking in either direction along the corridor, she blew out a breath. "I was told it's possible that I've always had the block, but that whatever it is wasn't...presenting yet? Or something? I don't know. I didn't pay that much attention about blocks before this because it hadn't affected me. I couldn't help others with them and I didn't have one.

"The only thing that changed, however, was becoming Accepted. I didn't try to channel for several days after it happened and then first time I attempted it, nothing. In my first ever lesson as a teacher, no less." She suppressed a shudder.

[Locke]

Alric Aurella

That did sound more than a little embarrassing. HIs own block had seen him relegated to supervising chores for months on end. He did feel for the woman. Things had changed dramatically since he’d been able to channel at will. Even before, Rodric had helped him find the source of his block early on.

Studying, the woman’s face, Alric spoke, “Saidar is controlled by surrendering to it, right? Saidin has to be wrestled into submission.” He didn’t know exactly what he was looking for, but blocks tended to come from accidentally self imposed limits or some sort of action or sustained mindset that didn’t lend itself to truly channeling. Before he’d broken his own block, he had simply been borrowing the power. Once he realized he always had a weapon to channel, the Power had truly become part of him. After that, he began to connect to it in ways he hadn’t imagined.

“What’s stopping you from surrendering these days when you could as a Novice? I should probably learn more about you anyway if we’re going to do this,” his mouth snapped shut as he realized he had simply barged in and taken this upon himself. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude. I’m just… it’s interesting. I’ve been in your shoes before and might as well help.” He smiled slightly, it was small, but surprisingly not forced.

[Bella]

His apparent earnest desire to help her made her put all the hackles down and the claws back in from her frustration over the whole matter while she had been on her own. Now that she was talking to someone else about it, that frustration eased up and made her less...well, less of an unpleasant human being.

What is stopping you from surrendering? She thought that question over idly, but really could not answer it. She would have thought her time as a Novice, when she was still in the harshest throes of her grief.

What he said caught up to her and she tilted her head slightly, dark eyes flashing curiously. "You've been in my shoes?" Then she recalled him saying something about knowing blocks on a personal level. How had she not caught that before? "You had a block? Have...?" She knew she didn't know him well, but she was still somehow surprised.

[Locke]

Alric

The corners of his mouth twitched slightly. “Had, thankfully. I couldn’t channel to light a candle without holding a weapon. Any weapon would do, as long as it was built as a weapon.” His eyes wandered for a moment as he thought back to the old days when he hadn't even been able to identify his block. Once he’d learned the source of his block and how to work around it.

“Worked with this grouchy old Green, a one-eyed git named Rodric, for a while,” he said, voice tinged with nostalgia. “He put me through all kinds of misery until we even figured out what my block was. I lit him on fire in the end, so it all worked out.”

Maybe if they were going to get to the bottom of this block, he would have to think like Rodric. Instead of constantly bashing their heads over getting her to properly surrender, they should start small. Figure out the nature of the block.

He pushed himself off the wall and stood straight, “So, do you want me to try helping? If so, let's ditch that broom and get a bite to eat in Town. Maybe if I know a bit more about you, we’ll know where to start.” With a shrug, he added, “It’s not like anybody can say it’s not related to our studies. Beside’s I’m paying.” He flashed her a quick grin before reaching for the broom.

[Bella]

After all those years as a Novice, her first instinct was to say no. Not because she didn't want him help or that she actually wanted to be here sweeping, but that "don't do anything to get in trouble" instinct had been driven in pretty hard. After a moment, that passed and she just figured, Burn it all anyway.

Andra smiled a little and let him take the broom from her. "Sure," she said. "I would appreciate it." Even if he couldn't help, maybe just getting out and about for a while with some company wouldn't be a bad thing.

And so it was that they left the broom to fend for itself and made their way out of the Tower. As an Accepted and a Dedicated, they were granted more freedom than when they were earlier in the ranks and so it was without issue that they did so. Neither spoke for a time until they were set foot upon the path that would take them into Hama Valon.

Once they had been walking for a little while, she glanced side long at him. "You never actually told me how you broke your block," she said, "but I assume that you did since you refer to it in the past tense and were able to set your teacher aflame."

[Locke]

AA

There was a little tavern down lake side that had a decent soup. But no, he couldn’t see himself visiting the Lady of the Lake for a long time. Too many memories. He pulled his gaze back from the sparkling surface of Lake Somal and his thoughts from a pair of concerned brown eyes. He suppressed a flinch when he met Andra’s gaze. Almond shaped brown eyes. No, they weren’t the same. Setting their path towards the Band of Brothers, Alric set about answering her question. Maybe he could march through this without stepping on any buried spikes.

“No, I didn’t break it then, that’s just when I discovered what my block was. I had to be holding a weapon. I didn’t actually break my block until that picnic those bandits rudely interrupted. I’d been sent flying by a stray weave and couldn’t find my sword.”

“Af-” he cut off, doing his best to avoid a thorny bit of history, “My friends were in danger, and I was their best hope in a fight, if I could channel or at least had a sword. My sword was missing and the only thing I did have was the Power. It was my only option. I’d been in life threatening situations before, Rodric put me in tons trying to break my block, but my mindset wasn’t right then. Knowing that you can do it, that’s the trick. Know you can, and don’t accept that you can’t.”