Mornings (Attn: Avyra)

[Cat]

Tristram

He could see that he was annoying her, but Tristram didn’t particularly care. He was being friendly, polite, and it was up to her how to interpret it. The truth was, he wasn’t actually here to make friends. He didn’t care if he made them at all, but he cared about his reputation. He wouldn’t have people thinking that he was someone to be avoided due to his refusal to be nice. That wouldn’t get him anywhere.

He stretched a little, relieving some of his aching muscles. His breathing was back to normal, and the sweat had dried. It now looked like he hadn’t run at all.

“I prefer ‘Your Worship’, or maybe even ‘Supreme Leader’,” he replied with another grin, not bothered by any of the titles or that she was trying to irritate him. “I take it, though, that you had the spark. And I’m not really sure that’s a good reason to stay. It sounds like you’re not happy here.”

[Avyra]

Avyra turned to look at him, blinking softly. How in Light's name was he still being nice? In truth, his words held no anger, no ill intent. They were just words, with a touch of sarcasm, but not the rude kind. And she was just being horrible. “I take it, though, that you had the spark. And I’m not really sure that’s a good reason to stay. It sounds like you’re not happy here.” She looked out into the distance a bit, slightly glazed over in thought. Why was she still here? She was fairly sure she had been completely forgotten in the mass of the Tower. If she left, nothing would change here. "I don't know," she replied. "I guess I'm hoping I'll find a real reason to stay." It had been the first earnest thing she had said. She sighed, lifting Theta up to eye level, gently rubbing his chest with one finger. "But that is unimportant. How are you liking it so far?" She was supposed to be the higher rank. She was acting like a bloody Novice.

[Cat]

Tristram

For Tristram, there was no other reason to be here other than to learn how to channel and become an Asha’man, but he supposed that wasn’t the case for everyone. He wasn’t sure how he would have felt had he been dragged here against his will with the spark. Well, he wouldn’t have let them drag him. He had always made a point of only ever doing what he wanted. They’d have tried, but they wouldn’t have got far.

He glanced once at the bird, for a moment having forgotten that it was there. He still couldn’t quite wrap his head around the idea of the Aes Sedai and Asha’man letting their students keep pets. It was tempting to see if they would let him have a lion. He was Andoran, and it was a part of his country’s national identity…

Pulling his attention back to the Accepted, he shook his head, arching an eyebrow once more. “No, I’d actually say that’s fairly important, finding a real reason to stay. Do you not want to be an Aes Sedai with a horde of handsome Warders at her beck and call? Or become Amyrlin and basically rule the world?”

[Avyra]

Avyra laughed at his words, although her laugh held no humor. While she wished those could be real possibilities, they just weren't. "I'll never be noticed by one potential Warder, much less a horde. And I'd never become Amyrlin. Trust me. I've thought about it, but it was unfortunate, wistful thinking. My outrageous goals went through a much needed reality check when I got my ring." She paused, leaning forward a bit. "No, I need a reason to stay that isn't blinded by false hope. Something that I can actually feel and touch. Something that's real." She looked back at him. "And, unfortunately, dreams out of a child's tale aren't real."

[Cat]

Tristram

There was no such thing as false hope. You could have anything if you set your mind on it, or that was what Tristram had always been taught. Oh, the road to getting there might be hard and winding and all sorts things that you probably didn’t want to confront, but nothing was impossible. He didn’t think, for example, the idea of him eventually becoming M’Hael was outrageous. If he ever decided that that was what he wanted, then he would make it happen. No ifs or buts. It was as simple as that.

He looked back at her and found himself quirking an eyebrow yet again. “Why? I’m curious to know why you think you’re never going to be noticed by a Warder, or why you think you’re never going to achieve anything? I mean, there’s plenty of things that are real, and I’d say they include what I suggested.”

[Avyra]

Avyra watched his face. Gone was that sarcastic teasing. He looked, well, earnest now, something she had never expected. “Why? I’m curious to know why you think you’re never going to be noticed by a Warder, or why you think you’re never going to achieve anything? I mean, there’s plenty of things that are real, and I’d say they include what I suggested.” She shook her head. "No, Tristram, they don't. Look at me. Do I look like someone who would get noticed easily?" She sighed. "People tell me otherwise, but its always the opposite. And as for me not being able to do things... I'm not that strong in the One Power, compared to everyone else. Maybe a bit stronger than average. Its nothing notable."

[Cat]

Tristram

Tristram laughed, though it was more of an amused exhale of breath. He rubbed at his neck as he tried not to give into the urge to shiver. Now that he was cooling down, he was noticing just how cold it was, and he shifted slightly, trying to get warmer.

“What am I supposed to be looking at or not looking at?” he asked, even as he rubbed at his arms. “Because you look perfectly noticeable to me. Probably even more noticeable with that bird on your hand. I’d love some examples of how it’s actually the opposite” He shrugged his shoulders and leaned back. “And as for being able to do things… It’s more about what you do with what you’re given, not how much you have. Did you just hear yourself? ‘Maybe a bit stronger than average’, and that’s apparently not strong? I’m fairly certain people who are average or below would disagree with you.

“You know, you shouldn’t compare yourself to other people. Who gives a damn about them?”

[Avyra]

He had a bit of a point, at least. Maybe she was a bit foolish. "I'm too small to be picked out in a crowd or seen," she replied softly. "I don't look particularly remarkable either. I'm just... here. If I looked beautiful maybe I'd be noticed, but I'm not. "And really, how could I do anything with this? Trust me." She sighed and leaned back, making Theta chitter a touch and spread his pointed wings slightly. Then she looked over to him, a mere stranger she had been rude to before. He was trying to help her. "But thank you. I was rude to you before. I'm sorry I had my hackles up. It was wrong of me to say those things." She didn't like to admit that she was wrong. "I guess I can try to find my place, if you believe in me." That's one person who does, at least. Avyra paused, looking at Theta. She was a fool. A complete fool. You have people here who believe in you. You just put your blinders on and accept every thought you have against yourself to be true. She didn't want to admit that part.

[Cat]

Tristram

Tristram stood and stretched, wishing that he had thought to bring his shirt with him. He would certainly be warmer, now. He ran his hand through his hair, trying to focus back on the conversation.

It wasn’t about believing in someone, or having someone believe in you. For the most part, he didn’t care what people thought, didn’t care about them, and certainly didn’t bother with the effort of believing in them.

“Let me guess,” he said. “The only person who’s told you you’re too small or not beautiful is you. Now, I could tell you that your height doesn’t matter, that it’s all about how you hold and carry yourself, and that you’re actually beautiful, but I won’t bother, because I don’t think you’d believe or listen to me, even if it’s true.” He grinned. “No one’s ever told me I’m handsome, but I think I am. Stunningly so. I’m amazed my mirror can withstand my beauty.” And again he grinned. “And no one can tell me any different.

“Like I said.” He glanced back at the Accepted. “It’s not about what other people think. It’s what you think about yourself. You’re the only one who can change that. You shouldn’t be saying you’ll try because I believe in you. You should be trying for yourself. I’m sorry to lecture, but…” He shrugged his shoulders. “You’ll be surprised how much life changes when you stop worrying about what other people think.”

[Avyra]

Was she actually being schooled by a Soldier? Avyra watched as he stood and stretched, not exactly taking in any sight beyond blur, focusing more his words. Who had told her these things? No, it wasn't them directly, but it was always implied, she felt. Unless she had imagined that too. It hurt. She had ruined so much, she knew she'd never recover. Avyra couldn't explain it all. She didn't have time to explain it all. So she just listened. “You’ll be surprised how much life changes when you stop worrying about what other people think.” She sighed, then laughed a touch. "Thanks. I guess. I'll try. But. How?"