The Advice No One Asked For but Needed All Along [attn; Marla]

[Avyra]

Avyra Moeryr

She wasn't feeling so good. In fact, she hadn't felt so good in quite some time. But tonight... tonight she felt so much worse than ever before. Avyra wasn't sure if the Tower was for her. Still. She was an Accepted, not a Novice. All the others had their plans together. But then again, they weren't limited by their size. That was what this all boiled down to. Avyra was too small, too thin, too... herself... to be beautiful, like the other Accepted. The others all knew what Ajah they wanted, but they didn't feel like they were too small to fight for the Greens or too rash to help the Blues. She didn't have a place. There was no Avyra Ajah. She needed one badly. She could have her own supply closet for quarters, too. Light knew she was small enough for one. So she sat in the corner of the gardens, back where no one else usually went. She wanted to be alone. Avyra numbly watched the lake, sitting on the grass with knees pulled up to her chest. She didn't cry, no. The time for tears had passed. She couldn't feel anything anymore. She just hoped no one would see her back here and stop to talk with her.

[Sunny]

Dax the Busy Body

Dax liked to wander the Gardens in the afternoon. They reminded him of when he had first met Katrie and the insane measures they had gone to in order to spend time together. Of course, the past was not the only reason he came to the Gardens. There were spots among those gracefully arranged tumbles of flowers and trees where a person -or a pair of people- could enjoy much desired alone time undetected while still having a decent view of the surrounding areas.

On that particular day, he desperately desired solitude so he could begin to read the book of Tairen legends and folklore he had taken from the Library. He was not yet ready to tell Katrie why he had it, nor did he want to have to explain to anyone at all why he struggled and swore while trying to read the fine print. Reading came with bad memories for Dakson Torellion....memories the like of which could turn his day sour in an instant. Some things were more important than fair days, however; he needed information, and as strange as it might seem, that book might hold a clue.

The Tairen stuck the tome under his arm after he finished his morning workout, fetched a snack from the kitchens, then found his way to the ter'angreal waterfall. He walked around it, along a very narrow path through a series of rose bushes to a grassy place overhung by a weeping willow. When he finally emerged from the brambles, he found to his shock that he was not alone.

A tiny girl wearing the eight-banded hems of one of the Accepted sat in the grass with her chin resting on her knees, staring blankly into space. She had brown hair; from where he stood, that was all he could see beyond her size. "What are you doing here?" he asked in surprise, drawing up short. She turned her head, and red-rimmed green eyes stared up at him.

"None of your business," she said, and turned away as if that would end their brief acquaintance.

The Gaidin's head tilted as he stared at her back. "Everything is my business," he said in an affable tone, walking over and dropping on his bottom next to her. He set the book aside a little more carefully. "There are three reasons I can think of that a small woman might hide. She's being bullied, she's shirking her chores or lessons, or she's avoiding a spurned lover. So which is it?"

[Avyra]

"What are you doing here?" A big voice asked in shock. Avyra jumped despite herself, then looked over at the man who spoke. He was big, with powerfully built broad shoulders and arms, and a very pretty face. She didn't want any of it. "None of your business," she replied darkly, turning away to study the ground again. Maybe he'd go away. "Everything is my business." Great. She heard the shuffle of grass that announced that he decided to plop down right next to her. "There are three reasons I can think of that a small woman might hide. She's being bullied, she's shirking her chores or lessons, or she's avoiding a spurned lover. So which is it?" Small woman. She clutched her knees even tighter. "I know I look pathetic. No reason to bring it up. Its none of your business. You don't even want to know. Leave me alone." Standing, she brushed off her white dress and started to walk away without looking at him or speaking. What part of being alone did he not understand? It all seemed pretty dictionary.

[Sunny]

"I know I look pathetic. No reason to bring it up. It’s none of your business. You don't even want to know. Leave me alone." Dax’s eyebrows went up as he watched the white-clad woman rise and move away. He had been dismissed many times in his life, but rarely had a woman so blatantly shut him down. He gnawed on his tongue for a moment, but eventually curiosity and a touch of hurt pride pushed him back to his feet, the book hooked under his arm.

He caught up to her quickly enough, and matched his stride to hers. “My name is Dax,” he said mildly. “As one of the Gaidin, it is both my duty and my privilege to look after the residents of the Grey Tower,” he added. “And even if it weren’t- I would not ask a question unless I wanted the answer. Nobody’s got time for that kind of fakery, me least of all.”

Dark hair fell into his face as he looked at her. “So. Shall we start over, Accepted Ambiguity? It would be polite to at least give me your name.” He wasn't about to chase her about the Tower, of course. If she walked off again, he would go about his business without another word.

[Avyra]

She could tell she caught him off guard. Maybe that would teach him not to be so nosy. But she heard footsteps in the grass, and he caught right up to her, matching her stride. “My name is Dax. As one of the Gaidin, it is both my duty and my privilege to look after the residents of the Grey Tower. And even if it weren’t- I would not ask a question unless I wanted the answer. Nobody’s got time for that kind of fakery, me least of all.” Avyra huffed. So he wasn't going to leave her alone. Great. Wonderful. She didn't have time for this. Nothing would help her. “So. Shall we start over, Accepted Ambiguity? It would be polite to at least give me your name.” But she didn't chase him away. Something about him made her actually stop, and she folded her arms against her chest with a pout. "Avyra Moeryr, Dax Gaidin." It was obvious that she was none too pleased with the situation, but if he was persistant, she really didn't have the will to fend him off. "Why are you following me? I've already offended you." She paused. "Besides, I'm hardly worth helping."

[Sunny]

Avyra’s comment cut deep; Dax flinched, his steady steps hitching. Hardly worth helping. Light, he knew that feeling. Even without knowing her specific circumstances he understood the overwhelming misery and doubt that drove such a statement. He had felt it for too long himself. He looked down at the smaller woman, noticing that she avoided meeting his eyes and that she seemed poised for flight even as they walked together.

“I’m following you because I know what it’s like to be alone, miserable, and convinced you are worthless,” he said after a long silence. “I know what it’s like to want to simply vanish because life hurts so much, and to distrust even genuine offers of friendship, because no one was ever interested in me unless they wanted something.”

His thoughts drifted for a minute, smoky curls, golden light, and the scent of lilacs filling his senses. “It took one person’s utter faith in me to finally help me realize how wrong I was,” he continued finally. “It took thirty years for that chance to come to me, but once it did...I barely know my life anymore.”

He stopped walking, his fingers wrapping around the Accepted’s arm and pulling her around to face him. “Everyone is worthy of attention, respect, and joy, Avyra,” he commented quietly. “From the lowest mercenary to the most prominent queen, we are all human, and we are all worthy.” He released her with a murmured apology for manhandling her, and she immediately looked down and away. He stuck his hands in his pockets. “I realize you don’t know me from Adam, but if my words can help you avoid thirty years of misery, I’m happy to talk your ear off.”

[Avyra]

He spoke a bit about understanding. She only huffed. He couldn't actually understand how she felt. No one here could. She was too small for anything. Too small to be loved. Too easily hurt. Weak and frail. Nobody wanted her. Suddenly, he grabbed her arm in a strong hand and twisted her backwards easily to face him, Avyra giving a soft yelp of protest. “Everyone is worthy of attention, respect, and joy, Avyra." His voice was soft, gentle, in contrast to his grip. “From the lowest mercenary to the most prominent queen, we are all human, and we are all worthy.” He then released her, shoving hands in pockets with a quick apology for his action. “I realize you don’t know me from Adam, but if my words can help you avoid thirty years of misery, I’m happy to talk your ear off.” Avyra sighed, shaking her head. Why was he still here? What did he see in her? "I'm not worthy of anything. I can barely reach the middle shelf of a bookcase without help. No Warder would want me as their Aes Sedai. I'm too weak to keep up. Too small to be noticed. I'm not pretty, despite what anyone says. Beauty doesn't matter if no one can see it." She sighed. "I'll never look like an Aes Sedai. Nobody will ever think of me as being one. I'll always be a child." She looked back up at him. "Do you see now, Dax Gaidin? I'm a lost cause. I can't fix this."