A Time to Kill [Attn: Damien]

[Jenny]

Seonin nodded, and then gave the dagger to Danos, relaxing when it left her hand. Then she offered him a rare, genuine smile, lighting up her face. Her warm, brown eyes sparkled as she considered his request.

"You are a kind man," she said. "I have many stories to share. But they might take a while to tell. Would you like to sit?"

She glanced about, looking for a suitable place. He lead her to the side of the room, where it seemed that he had been cleaning a rack of blades. Seonin felt a sting of guilt for distracting him from his work, but said nothing. Instead, she sat by him, and began her first tale.

"I was thirteen when a sul'dam - a woman who holds a leash - came to test the young women in my lord's household. My mother, and my mother's mother, and her mother as well, and so on as long as we knew, had been served my lord's family. Thus it had been for generations."

Her voice took on a soothing, sing-song quality as she spoke.

"It was a feastday. That's how it was. It was a day of dancing and singing and much celebration even for the servants, and the sul'dam would come. They tested every girl of age between twelve and eighteen. Some would make bets on which girls would become sul'dam. That was a great honor. No one would bet on the damane. That... brought shame. So. I was tested and taken."

She skipped the sadness and hurt that she had felt. This was to be a happy tale, she reminded herself. She continued, "I resolved to make the best of it. I was young, but I knew that disobedient servants were punished. Likewise, I observed that the disobedient damane would be given to women who could break them. They were the... bad sul'dam, the ones who were rough, and mean, and... evil." That was difficult for her to say. She had learned that it was not wise to speak ill of sul'dam. But it was the truth.

"I learned. Quickly, and well." Determination and pride filled her voice. "I was one of the best they had ever trained. When the testing came, oh, you should have seen the weaves I wove! And because of that, I was selected by the very best sul'dam. Her name was Marielle, and she was one of the Blood. She was a very high ranking noblewoman. We worked together so well. As soon as we linked, she said that she had never felt such a connection with another damane. She let me live in her house with her, and I had a wonderful room, all to myself, and servants of my own. I was even brought before the Empress. Listen, Danos, I met the Empress! May she live forever! That is something few have experienced. Perhaps I will tell you of it one day."

Her gaze was far away, thinking of the life she had left behind. Then she glanced at Danos, and winked.

"Here's a secret. They said that I was so good because I was quiet, obedient, humble, and selfless. Ha! They never realized that I worked so hard simply because I had a burning desire to be the best. Only Marielle knew. We were so similar. A nail that sticks up will be hammered down. The women who refused to bend were broken. But I can bend like the willow. I yield like the wind. And I can dance, lighter than the wings of a butterfly. I let it all flow past me. And when it is over... I have survived."

She laughed. "That is something some of the other novices don't understand," she said, and rolled her eyes. "They want to fight, kicking and screaming, even until the Mistress of Novices tires out her arm with her switch. And then she simply uses the Power and they end up beaten anyways. It is much better to wait until the moment is right, and then strike with all your cunning, all your heart, and all your might. The problem is that this way requires patience; and few are willing to wait."

[Damien]

Danos

Danos took the knife and placed it once more upon the rack.

When Seonin complimented him, he waved it away modestly, "Not at all, it's nothing Seonin. And yes I would enjoy
hearing the tale," said Danos as he walked with her back to the work table where he had been sharpening.

As the Novice began to speak, he slowly continued to whet the blade, keeping the noise of the stone down as he grew more and more intwined in her story.

At first Danos could not imagine how the entire household would have celebrated and treated the test as if it was a festival.

As her story continued, he began to see that much like a noble man's top retainers, the sul'dam and Damane must have been considered vital to the defence or running of the country.

When she spoke of the Empress, Danos could scarcely imagine a moment like that. Hard enough to picture meeting with Lords and Ladies, but someone who must rank with the Great Kings, that was astounding.

"I agree with you about the Novices. I myself have seen a few kicking and screaming, and if the Mistress is like our Master of Training it would do no good. I am glad that you have fond memories of home, foreign to me as it is," Danos said sincerely amazed by her story, "Do you find the Grey Tower as challenging? Are you excelling here as well?" He asked curiously.

[Jenny]

Seonin hesitated. "Not so much," she admitted. She lowered her head, cheeks burning, and recalled how she had collapsed in the Channeling Yards. "It is very different here. And I find it difficult to channel without the instruction of a sul'dam. It seemed somehow easier when someone else was telling me what to do, and where, and when. When I was linked with sul'dam, I could sense what she wanted before she told me. All there was left for me... was to do."

She looked at the sword he was sharpening. "I was the blade, and my sul'dam was the blademaster," she said softly. "Who... will wield me now?"

"Also, I no longer feel that drive to be the best. Not anymore. Perhaps I'm not as young as I was. Perhaps I have seen and suffered too much. Perhaps it's a combination of many things. I just don't really know what I want any more. I... want to become as calm and wise as the Aes Sedai and Asha'man. But beyond that, Light help me, but I don't know."

She turned her attention to him. "What about you?" she asked, curiously. "When you choose to bond, do you think you will choose someone who is also dedicated to fight the Shadow? Or do you think you'll want... something more?"

[Damien]

Danos

Danos considered the words of Seonin as she described being able to simply Be, or Do, as directed by someone else. Danos could not imagine the feeling, but he did know the moments of peace that came from sinking so deeply into yourself that the outside world mattered little. And he had known a few men, who had used the bottle or wineskin in such a manner.

When she mentioned being a blade, he paused to consider that for a moment. In many ways, I am training to become a sword, would I be content simply slaying as commanded? thought Danos to himself.

"I can well imagine the peace the Aes Sedai and Asha'man possess to be enviable Seonin. Especially with the turmoil and upheavals you've lived through. I was fortunate in having a steady home, family, and then chose to place my duty as important beside that. To answer your question, I do not know. I hope to find a bondmate that is compassionate, and that takes the Grey Tower as serious as I do. I am truly begin to see this place as home, the people here as family. As for more... I suppose I want to prove to myself I can climb this cliff, obtain the fancloth cloak before I think that far ahead," replied Danos as he finished wiping the sword down, the cloth removing anything left from the whetstone.

"But I do know I have met very few of the Tower, the schedule of a Drin'far'ji, along with all the weapon practice I must learn has kept me from knowing many beyond the Yard. Plus the last time I took time off, Avyra landed her and I in the cookpot with Keeper Jaryd, although I doubt she will be done with the tree just yet," said Danos fondly as he pictured his sassy, determined friend.

[Jenny]

Seonin giggled. "Avyra! You know her too? She is my roommate! Haha, trouble seems to find her wherever she goes. I'm afraid that the Mistress of Novices hasn't been very kind with her."

Although they had spoken easily for most of the conversation, a thoughtful, but awkward silence seemed to settle over the pair. Seonin wondered vaguely what time it was. Her free time was surely nearing its end. But sitting by Danos and listening to him felt so nice. She did not want to leave. She watched him as he appraised the sword in his hand and wiped the metal with smooth, strong motions. He seemed to be just as lost in his own thoughts.

"I hope you find your way, Danos," she said, finally. She looked up at him with wide and shining eyes. "When it comes time to choose your path... perhaps you could remember me?"

She froze as the words left her mouth. When had she become so bold? Light, how will he react? She could not bear the embarrassment. Quickly, she clasped her hands over her mouth and fled the armory.

[Damien]

Danos

Danos smiled when he heard that the Seanchan Novice and Avyra were roommates, they seemed an unlikely pairing to him.

"I know her all too well, she first enlisted my help with a tree after I heard her playing her music in the Garden. That landed me a lengthy discussion with Betrys Sedai, and the Mistress of Novices myself. But I got to know her fairly well when we sparred together, although my size made me an ill suited teacher for her," said Danos as he remembered her trip to the infirmary.

Although they had spoken easily for most of the conversation, a thoughtful, but awkward silence seemed to settle over the pair. Danos knew he would probably have to make up time for this chore session, but the conversation had been worth it. He had never seen someone who embodied the willow strength his mother had often mention quite like Seonin. He still could scarcely imagine her story, the journey she had already undergone and as he was lost in thought the hour grew longer in companionable silence.

"I hope you find your way, Danos," she said, finally. She looked up at him with wide and shining eyes. "When it comes time to choose your path... perhaps you could remember me?"

Quickly, she clasped her hands over her mouth and fled the armory.

Danos sat dumbfounded when she first suggest he remember her when the time came to bond an Aes Sedai. Instantly he could see many qualities about her that he knew would make an excellent Aes Sedai in his mind, but before he could say anything she fled in haste.

Danos sat there, and as he debated what to do, the face of another novice, a warm glow deep inside, and carelessly standing intimate in the Gardens all came rushing to his mind. Light what a mess, I never was any good with women, muttered Danos as he sprang up off the table, chore forgotten.

Luckily he had a good idea where Seonin would head in her headlong rush to leave, and his long stride and running practice allowed him to catch up to her.

"Seonin stop, please just stop for a moment," said Danos gently as he grabbed her shoulder and looked into her deep wide eyes.

"I don't know where that came from, but I can tell you right now there is something about you that I will definitely remember when the time comes. I do not know if all bond mates feel romantic of one another. They are tight lipped about it with us Drin'far'ji. But there has been a small blooming with someone here for me. Although for now our ranks keep it from being whatever it could be," he paused then, realizing he had been rambling to the poor girl.

"I would very much enjoy getting to know more, and once we attain the ranks to do so, I would escort you to Hama Valon gladly. But I did not want you to part like that," he said, his voice warm and sincere.

[Jenny]

Seonin's white skirts swirled around her feet as she ran. But where could she go? Back to the novice quarters, where perhaps the other girls would spread false rumors about her distress? To the office of the Mistress of Novices, who did not seem unkind but was certainly not a comforting presence? Seonin wanted to bury herself in her shame, to keep her eyes lowered forever, out of respect and embarrassment and dishonor. But then Danos touched her shoulder. She turned around, startled, and looked up.

His eyes. They were a warm hazel that shimmered with flecks of gold and green - and there was nothing but concern in his expression. Seonin's breath caught in her throat. I'm meeting his eyes, she thought. The realization shocked her to her core. In Seanchan, a meeting of eyes meant acceptance of the other as an equal. Despite her shame, he still wanted to see her. Not as a servant, not as a damane, not as a novice of the Grey Tower - but as a woman, worthy of respect in her own right.

Seonin's hands brushed his arm. She held onto him, feeling as though the earth was spinning under her feet. There was no time to react before he began speaking. And when he spoke about his relationship with someone else, Seonin's heart nearly stopped. She was unprepared for the jealous rage that filled her.

It was too much for her to handle. Instinctively, she reached for saidar, the inner light that was always hovering at the edge of her vision. For the first time in two years, the Power poured into her, flowing easily without restraint. She threw her head back, savoring the feeling of pure possibility that filled her, sweeping all other emotions away. Although Danos could not see it, she was the center of a blaze of glorious light.

She laughed. Though the laugh was joyful, a strong current of anger coursed under the surface.

"Very well," she said. Her voice came out far stronger than she felt, and a little haughtier than Seonin had ever been in her life. "We will not part like that."

Yes, I will leave him something to remember me by! she thought, feeling nearly drunk with the joy of saidar. And with that, she wrapped her arms around him, stood on the tips of her toes, and brushed her lips against his. It was her first kiss - the childlike kisses from Anelle did not count - and with the kiss she tried to communicate all of her delight and frustration, euphoria and grief, and all of the multitude of raw emotion that had been suppressed for far too long.

[Damien]

Danos watched Seonin stop and listen to him. He could not tell all of what was going on behind her eyes, but she was clearly dealing with some emotions.

Her hand brushed his arm, and he could feel her swaying so he held her steady while he spoke to her about his reservations and thoughts. Then he felt her body stiffen for a single heartbeat, then relax before Seonin laughed.

The laughter surprised him, it so seemingly out of place with her earlier reaction.

"Very well," she said. Danos could hear her voice ring strong and true. The strength of her voice seemed out of place with the Novice who had seemed to mostly whisper in the Armoury. Light the currents are getting deep here, and I was never good at all this thought Danos to himself.

And with that, she wrapped her arms around him, stood on the tips of her toes, and brushed her lips against his.

It was a kiss charged with emotion, and Danos could feel himself holding stiff as the situation seemed to collide with everything that had occurred in the Gardens. Some vague feeling seemed to uncoil within him from it's rest, and he was lost it the conflicting threads. Unsure of everything he returned the kiss, not with an incredible heat, but not chastely either.

[Jenny]

Light! Seonin melted into his embrace, ignorant of his hesitation. She wanted to claim him. Mine mine mine, she thought. But she managed to hold back the torrent of saidar that she held within her. Long years of training had offered her more control than might be expected of a novice.

"Something to remember me by," she murmured. Her tongue flicked his lip, which was softer than she had thought it would be. His facial hair tickled her skin and she smiled, again, liking how it felt.

They broke apart. Seonin's breath came lightly and quickly. She looked up at him, her face shining with happiness.

"I hope to see you again, Danos," she said, nearly stumbling over her words. Her cheeks burned bright red and her gaze returned to the ground. She released saidar, feeling regret as the Power drained away, leaving only a sense of wanting.

"Speaking with you has been pleasant... more than pleasant," she continued. "But I must go to my next lesson." Reluctantly, she let go of his arms, and then left.

-----
Seonin returned to her room to prepare for her next lesson. As she sat on her bed, she looked down at her hands guiltily. She rarely - well, never - broke the rules. Life as a novice was more lenient in many ways than her past. But then she embraced saidar again. The sweetness poured into her, and with it, the warm feeling that she had experienced while she kissed Danos.

Something had happened in that moment, something that broke whatever barrier she may have had. For the first time since Anelle died, Seonin felt nearly like herself as she had been - unafraid of the Power and eager to learn. Perhaps I can finally love again, she thought, and smiled joyfully. She was free!