A Time to Kill [Attn: Damien]

[Jenny]

The novices sat in neat rows in the study hall. It was homework hour, and they were all required to sit quietly. An Accepted whom Seonin did not know sat at the head of the room, making sure that they focused on their work.

Seonin usually kept her head down, but today she was seated by the window. And for some reason, her eyes couldn't help but to wander to the side to observe the Warder Yards, where athletic figures leapt about. Bundled lathes flashed about as they struck and wove among the figures. Two years ago, she would have never considered touching a blade. The leash around her neck made sure of that - it prevented her from touching anything that she could even consider as a potential weapon.

But things were different now. Other channelers, the Greens especially, often had daggers tucked discreetly into their belts. Many of the men, and even the women, carried swords, or bows, or staves. The Last Battle was coming, and it was only prudent to be armed.

And so a few days later, when Seonin finally found an hour free from chores, classes or homework, she wandered past the Warder Yards to the armory. With some effort, she pulled open the heavy doors, and peered inside. The room was surprisingly clean and well-lit. There was none of that musty smell of some of the old storage closets or lesser-used rooms in the Tower. She stepped inside, her slippered feet barely making a sound. She stared at the rows of swords for a few minutes, before cautiously reaching out a hand.

Even though it had been over two years, she still half-expected her arm to cramp painfully as she reached forward. Yet she only felt the cold surface of the metal as she brushed a finger across the blade. Her trembling hands slipped and the pads of her fingers nicked the edge. She pulled back with a gasp. A thin red line crossed two of her fingers and she stared at the blood, frozen in shock.

She was too absorbed in her thoughts to notice the man who had entered the room behind her.

[Damien]

Danos

Danos had been working in the armory, helping to clean up the mess and other debris from the explosion that had occurred. He was busy polishing the racks, cleaning many of the weapons once more and ensuring they had not been damaged by exposure.

As his whetstone rasped against the blades, he had noticed a woman in Novice white enter the armoury. He had paid little heed, but as he sat sharpening the blade, he wondered if she was searching for someone in particular. Better to ask, then to get called out for letting her wander through the weapons alone, thought Danos to himself as he stood, racking the weapon and following over to where she was.

As he saw her reaching for the swords he was tempted to call out, and before he could stop her, he saw she had cut her finger on the sharpened blade. Unsure how deep the cut was, Danos quickly darted forward, and grabbing her hand pressed his sleeve against the cut. As he waited for the cut to stop it's bleeding, he lifted the sleeve gently, pleased to see that the blood no longer seemed to flow quite so strong. "Pardons for grabbing you like that Novice, but these blades can cut bone deep, and there is a lot of bleeding when that happens. Fortunately, this does not seem so bad. Akin to a singe from a pot instead of a burn. Were you looking for something in particular?" Danos asked gently as he waited for the blood flow to stop before releasing her hand and stepping back.

[Jenny]

Arms reached from behind her. Before she could respond, a tall man pressed her hand gently against the sleeve of his shirt. Seonin was not a short woman, but the stranger towered over her. His hands were warm and callused; and she could feel the strength of his fingers gripping her wrist.

It was only a small cut, she thought. It barely even stung. She had felt far worse when her sul'dam had decided to punish her through the leash. But it felt nice to be fussed over by a man. Her cheeks flushed pink and she looked down, too shy to look up at his face.

Instinct took over. She bowed deeply, hands at her side in the strict Seanchan way.

"I was just looking, sir," she said, her words slurring together in a slow, pleasant drawl. "I have never touched a weapon before. But I saw some of the women carrying blades and I thought that perhaps... perhaps...."

She faltered. Too long, had she been forbidden from even thinking of touching a weapon. The words simply couldn't come.

[Damien]

Danos

Danos couldn't make out as much of the woman's words as her accent was one he couldn't place. The rhythm was off, but he did catch the sir, and that she was obviously apologizing.

"It's alright, I'm sure you aren't the first one to cut yourself here, and I tried to arm myself with one the first day," said Danos, flushing as he recalled his first tour of the Armoury.

"If you were looking for teachers, there are many Gaidin who train in the Yard, but I believe that Novices aren't allowed bare steel. Much like myself, you would start with a wooden practice blade," said Danos as he showed the Novice the racks of those.

"My name is Danos al'Sheen and I'm a Drin'far'ji, are you new to the Grey Tower, or just new to the armoury?" asked Danos curious as to the woman's story.

[Jenny]

"Danos al'Sheen. It is good to meet you. I am Seonin," she said. She hesitated for a second, and then added, "Seonin Namendar Seladrin. I have been at the Tower for almost two years now, although I have only been a novice since last spring. I've never been in here before."

As she reached to touch the wooden practice blade, which was really just a bundle of smoothened lathes, her hand accidentally brushed past his sleeve. She shivered, suddenly embarrassed, and blushed again. What would her roommate Avyra say if she only knew that Seonin couldn't handle talking to a strange man? Not for the first time, Seonin envied her roommate's confidence.

Her hand traced the practice weapons. She didn't feel the same sensation of hidden violence. They could leave a sturdy bruise, but there was very little potential to kill. She glanced at the rack of steel blades and felt again the terror that had seized her heart.

"I don't think I am quite ready for a teacher," she said, quietly. "Where I am from, I was forbidden to touch any weapons. Although it was really a trick of the mind, as even a length of rope could have been considered a weapon if I thought of it that way... but I digress. I came in here to test my limits. To see if I could overcome a piece of my past. Although apparently I can't."

She smiled ruefully and held up her hand. Her eyes finally lifted to look up at Danos, and she observed the man carefully. His face was attractive, almost approaching handsome, and an earnestness that made her feel that this was a man to be trusted. Although there were Drin'far'ji in some of her classes - the ones without channeling, of course - she had never really spoken to one. Seonin was a quiet student and usually kept to herself.

"Danos... as a Drin'far'ji, you spend your days training with these weapons. Why?"

[Damien]

Danos

Danos was listening intently to Seonin as she was explaining her reasoning behind coming to the Armoury.

His eyebrows raised in question as she stated that she had been forbidden weapons and that she had been here to see if she could overcome her training. When she expressed her failure, Danos could see in her face that she was clearly wrestling with something.

Light, the rules are to protect people, not make them feel useless, thought Danos to himself as he grabbed a small dagger from the racks behind him.

"Seonin, it is also my pleasure to meet you.
And I must say I have never heard of a place where women were forbidden weapons. In my home it wasn't common, but there was no rule against it," he said as he handed her the dagger, ensuring the hilt was turned towards her.

"To answer your question, Drin'far'ji train with weapons so that we may protect the channelers in our charge. Fatigue, surprise, and other factors I'm sure can all conspire to make a woman unable to channel. So I am being taught to be a living shield, and weapon in time of need. Plus each of us Tower trained will be worth many soldiers if the Shadow attacks," said Danos as he recalled the many lessons he had received on a Gaidin's purpose.

"I can't let you leave with a blade, but there's no point pretending it's an adder either. Hold it, feel the hilt and the weight, just don't touch the blade," said Danos as he showed her the grip he would use on a dagger.

[Jenny]

"It wasn't forbidden because I was a woman," Seonin said, unperturbed by his ignorance. Few understood Seanchan ways. "I am from the Seanchan continent, across the Aryth Ocean. Do you know what a damane is? That's what I was. I was bound to serve with the One Power as a tool and a weapon. I served willingly, but others did not, and so we were all forbidden from touching weapons."

She shied away when Danos offered her the dagger. It took a moment before she remembered herself and she bowed again, apologizing. With trembling fingers, she closed her hand around the hilt.

It felt wrong. She held it like a snake, terrified that the cramping pain that had stopped her when she was a damane would strike at any moment. She wondered if she would ever fit in with these people. Her past with the Seanchan, including seven years as a slave, seemed too much to overcome.

Danos spoke. "Drin'far'ji train with weapons so that we may protect the channelers in our charge. Fatigue, surprise, and other factors I'm sure can all conspire to make a woman unable to channel. So I am being taught to be a living shield, and weapon in time of need. Plus each of us Tower trained will be worth many soldiers if the Shadow attacks," he said.

If Seonin had been a different woman, she might have thought that the concept of a "living shield" was barbaric. Instead, she nodded understandingly. She was no stranger to self-sacrifice. If only she could have died to save Anelle.

She followed his instructions and adjusted her grip on the dagger. What would have happened if she could have used a blade when Anelle died? Her hold on the dagger tightened. If she had been trained with this, she would have fought to her last breath.

Then, she recalled the stories of Warders gone mad when their channeler died. A strange look came over her face. Seonin usually seemed mild-mannered and shy; but as she looked up at Danos, her expression held a sense of purpose.

"Before coming to the Tower, I was bound to a woman through my leash," she said in a low voice. "And I was bound to her as she died. I can't... It was... extraordinarily painful. Danos, why did you come to the Tower? What makes you want to bind yourself to anyone in that way?"

[Damien]

Danos

Danos watched Seonin closely, her mannerisms and gestures were just foreign enough that he could not quite get a read on her. As she explained that she had been a damane and was from across the Ocean, Danos could scarcely believe it. He had heard rumours of course, whispers in the inn after peddlers had passed through, but he had never thought they were true.

He could see her finally become a little more comfortable with the weapon, no longer holding it as if she feared it would sink it's fangs into her.

Bound to a woman through a leash, Light I've never heard of such a thing, thought Danos to himself as he tried to imagine that. He knew Warder's and Aes Sedai shared a bond, and that it was an incredibly intimate thing, the stories had spoken of such a thing, but he did not know the specifics.

Pursing his lips, he thought about it for a moment, "I suppose one of the big differences is it sounds like you were not given a choice. Here I am choosing to lay aside my wishes for something bigger. Once Marzell Sedai, the one who opened my eyes to the truth about the Towers, and the fight against the Shadow, told me about the Grey Tower it seemed well worth the cost."

[Jenny]

Large, dark eyes watched him steadily as he spoke. She took a few moments to consider his words before replying.

"Does the choice matter if the result is the same? I know that it seems strange to you, but I grew to love the people I served. I was so excited when I was selected to come to this continent. With my heart full of joy, I served at the command of the Empress, may she live forever." She touched her fingers briefly to her lips in a nearly unconscious movement before continuing.

"Like you, I wanted to devote my life to something bigger. But the pain of my sul'dam's death was still more than I could... than I can... bear. If I could find the man who killed her, I would tear his heart out with my bare hands," she said, with sudden ferocity. Her lips curled unpleasantly. "I would bring lightning down from the skies and strike him a thousand times to make him feel the pain that she felt. If I could, I would destroy him so completely that his thread would be burned from the Pattern forever. It took me a year to learn to live again... and Light, it still hurts! Think, Danos! Do you really want this?"

Seonin suddenly seemed to realize what she had said and looked down at the floor. Her pretty features rearranged themselves to an expression of forced calm. "Please forgive my outburst," she said, meekly. "I was thoughtless. There is a time to speak and a time to be silent - and I'm afraid that I have spoken far too much. It is not my place to question you like this."

The novice peeked through her lashes, wondering if he was angry. Oh, she rarely spoke to men - it would be such a shame if she chased this one away with her rudeness!

She busied herself with examining the dagger in her hand, and then hefted the blade. It felt light, yet sturdy, and although she was not experienced enough to judge its balance, she could still tell that it was very well made. The Grey Tower bought only the best for its warriors.

"How would you use this? Perhaps could you... show me?" she asked shyly, awkwardly trying to change the subject.

[Damien]

Danos

Danos was about to say more, when Seonin unleashed a description of rage and anger that he had seldom seen in Jornhill.

At first he was shocked to hear someone expressing their desire to kill so suddenly, but as he pieced together bits of her conversation, he began to see a clearer picture. Light, is this why the stories say that Warders seldom outlive their Aes Sedai? thought Danos as he watched her master her anger and emotions.

As she once again faced him, he noticed she was holding her face downcast once more, and so Danos placed a hand on her shoulder to catch her attention.

"Peace Seonin, if I cannot listen to questioning of my path, then I am not strong enough to walk it. I assure you, there was no offence in what you said."

"To be honest, I had not thought that far ahead and so I suppose I do wrestle with doubts and the pain you've described. I do not know the word sul'dam , but your anger and pain are clear. I am sorry that you've had such loss, as little as those words change," Danos said sincerely.

"As for the dagger, no I cannot teach you, as I myself have not learnt the weapon. I know enough to use one at the meal table, but not enough to teach. I am on the first of many steps here, and know little beyond fighting with hand and feet," he said regretfully. He could tell she was passionate about this, and hoped she found a suitable teacher soon.

"Tell me a memory of home that is good. That was always my mothers trick when I dwelt upon my own ills, and I would learn more of your home," he said gently, hoping to help put her at ease.