Up In Smoke (Attn: Marla)

[Jenn]

(( This happens after I can be more than I expect of me. ))
Katrie

Six months. Three weeks. Five days.

Katrie lost her grasp on saidar again for the fifth time in as many minutes, the pretty Cairhienin stretching out instinctively towards the faint echo in her mind that was Dax. He was somewhere to the north east... the Citadel, if rumour was to be believed. He was alive. He was still alive. She allowed her eyes to slide shut, her body tensing as a dull, hollow ache thrummed through her. It was there, every moment, waking or sleeping... but it hurt worse whenever she thought of her bondmate. Light! What was wrong with her?

By rote, she recited it again. Six months, three weeks, and five days had passed since she had woken up in the Infirmary alone.

The Accepted sat alone, the cool stone bench beneath her unmoved and uncaring of her plight. She let out a sigh of frustration. Her eyes flew open and she stared into the middle distance, annoyance twisting at the features of her face. The perfectly manicured flower beds of the tranquil gardens sprawled out all around her. She couldn't focus, she couldn't concentrate... everything felt flat. Colourless. She couldn't even hold on to the Power long enough to weave a ball of light, much less anything else. She was distracted and irritable. The Aes Sedai were taking notice and it was only a matter of time before she would find herself in front of Mirin…

Katrie stood abruptly, suddenly hating the quiet... despising the stillness... it echoed and magnified the emptiness trapped within the confines of her own skull. She grimaced and shoved herself away from the bench and all of the fragrant greenness. If she was asked about the assault or any lingering trauma one more time, she was going to scream.

She began to walk, not caring where she went. Katrie focused on the sound of smooth gravel crunching beneath her slippers, the way the arches of her feet flexed with each step, the way her lungs filled with cool air... Somehow, it made her feel calmer. She couldn't say how many different paths she took, or how many times she circled around that one particular fountain, but eventually, the tall Cairhienin found herself lingering near the Warder Yards. Sable orbs scanned the men and women present for a familiar glimpse of black hair and blue eyes... even though she knew she wouldn't find him there. She would have felt it... the moment that he returned... but that knowledge still didn't stop the the need to look for him.

Six months. Three weeks. Five days. And Dax wasn't there.

Slowly, she ran her hands through her hair, her frustration quickly morphing into surprise as she suddenly became aware of how long it had grown. Slender hands felt along it's length. Another jolt of surprise. Her hair was more than halfway down her back. Katrie blinked. How had she not noticed until now? She shook her head at herself, dismayed, letting her arms fall back down to her sides. Maybe there really was something truly wrong with her... She bit down on the corner of her mouth, indecision flickering across her face. Should she go to the Infirmary?

The tall Accepted hesitated a moment longer before turning away from uniformed Drin and Ji, remembering to show respect to the full ranked Gaidin as she face the Tower proper. Before she could step away, a familiar voice sounded right next to her. “Accepted Aikaterine, walk with me.”

She jumped, startled, whirling around to a pair of amused coal-black eyes. When she was positive that her heart would not burst out of her throat, Katrie curtsied more deeply than she would have to anyone else. “Asha'man Jaryd.” She had not forgotten what he had done for her or her mama. Not really having any other choice, she fell into step beside him, but not before casting a final uneasy glance over her shoulder back at the Warder Yards.

[Sunny]

Jaryd Kosari

Jaryd enjoyed spending time in the Gardens. Every corner brought memories, some good, some bad. Near the waterfall, he saw accusing pale blue eyes staring over the back of a dark-haired novice that dripped water. He shivered; those were two shadows that left his heart cold. Amadie had died to save Lirievin’s life, and Carra had vanished without a trace after he released her bond, leaving him to carry their shared mission on. At least enough time had passed that the memory of that particular escapade brought a rueful smile rather than tears.

Along a few twists in the paths he passed a bench where he had much more recently sat with an entirely different woman. He and Kaia had spoken on innocuous topics and politics, and yet… he shook his head. It did no favors to anyone to think too hard on how easily her green eyes could twist him in knots. She left him to become Aes Sedai once more, his mind whispered, why do you allow imaginary proprietary to bother you so, Kosari? If she had not had a child with the man whose name she carried…he shook his head.

As if his thoughts had summoned her, Jaryd strolled around a corner to see Katrie sitting on a bench, head bowed and hands in her lap. She seemed unaware of his presence –or anything else, truly. He frowned and stepped back, concealing himself behind the rose bushes that had screened his approach.

He had watched the young woman as she progressed through her training, and her most recent behavior concerned him. He had suspected a lover, and her behavior seemed to support that assumption. He had kept his silence even when her erratic behavior shifted to anger; in his experience, such feelings responded best to time rather than the interference of authority.

Her anger had not faded, however, and then one night she returned from Hama Valon bloody and bruised. She claimed the Gaidin who escorted her had saved her from true harm, and refused to speak on the matter further. Since that day she had withdrawn into isolated silence, shirking chores and classes alike. She can barely touch saidar, Kaia had told him the night before, the slight tremble in her velvet voice betraying her worry. It slips from her grip like a new novice, and she doesn’t seem to notice.

Jaryd had done his own inquiries into the events of that night, and learned that while Dakson had undeniably ended the threat, he had also been heavily intoxicated, and bore more injuries than one fight could account for. That in itself did not surprise the Keeper, given everything else he had learned. That Dax had been raised at all still caused some eyebrows to lift, and his behavior since had been less than exemplary. An unlikely hero. His fingers drummed on his thigh. There had to be more to the story.

Katrie stood and walked away. After a moment of thought, Jaryd followed her at a distance, curious to see where she wandered. The Accepted eventually led him to the Practice Yards, where she stared at the men and women who practiced there with a face devoid of expression. Abruptly the pieces clicked together. Jaryd’s eyebrows arched, and he pushed himself upright from the wall he had settled against as she turned to leave. He joined her on cat feet, saying “Accepted Aikaterine, walk with me,” as he drew near. His lips twitched at the depth of her curtsy and her murmured respect.

He caught her uneasy glances as he guided her along the path that led around the south of the Tower, but kept his own counsel until they had crossed the south road. Then he seized saidin, flows of Spirit and Air wrapping around them to cloak their words. He had no desire for what they spoke of to be carried by unknown lips to others in the Tower.

“I have watched people my entire life, Katrie,” he said quietly, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. “I observe their behaviors and interactions, how they affect one another, and how they react to the unexpected. My ability to accurately interpret past events and future intentions has been invaluable...and generally speaking, quite accurate.”

He looked at her, dark eyes serious. “I have been watching you for some time, Katrie, and I am concerned by what I see.” Her cheeks darkened, and his lips twitched up into an amused smile. “Would you care to take this opportunity to tell me why you are acting like you’ve lost your lover, or should I do the honors and share my own suspicions?”

[Jenn]

Katrie

The moment stretched out into eternity as Asha'man Jaryd's words dropped between them, pebbles breaking the surface of a still pond. Katrie felt the ripples crash into her with the force of gale-strength winds, and she began to shake. By the way sound was strangely muted yet amplified, she knew that they were beneath a ward of his making.

The first thing that registered was the release of relief, a weight she didn't know she had been carrying slipping free from her shoulders. Something shifted, and utter panic chased in, blanketing her mind in terror. Katrie could not say which gave ground first, if any, both emotions spiraling upwards in out of control coils as they fought for sole dominance.

For a brief moment, she wanted to drop her face into her hands and simply cry, but even as her arms began to move, her tears were quickly choked off by a feeling of palpable dread that she couldn't explain. Fingers curled into fists, her legs actually twitching beneath the cover of white cotton ending in banded hems. There was an overwhelming desire to sob. There was an overpowering need to run – to get away. Both feelings could not exist in the same space, and she felt as if her soul was being torn in two. The pretty Cairhienin become a passive participant in her own body.

In the end, she did neither, lifting haunted eyes shades lighter to the almost black ones of the Red.

“It's not an act,” she finally managed to say, the strain and tension she felt inside of her mind twisting together with her words. “I...” She inhaled sharply, a tremor of something spasming through her. She couldn't mention the bond... not now. Not yet? No, no, no, not ever. Light... “He saved me, and... I heard from others that he killed the man who assaulted me.” The pain in her chest was nearly unbearable and Katrie did not understand why. “He's being punished, even though he saved me...”

“The Gaidin that escorted you back to the Tower afterwards. Dakson Torellion?” That was asked so gently.

She knew what the Asha'man was truly asking. Katrie was only able to nod in wordless confirmation, confused as to why Jaryd wasn't bundling her up in Air and sending her off immediately to be punished. There was no surprise on the ageless face, no hint that anything was amiss.

Katrie wrapped her arms around herself, as if by that motion alone, she could keep herself from flying apart into a thousand little pieces. I did this to him, and he still saved me! There was another emotion now... one that she knew oh so very well: guilt. And it clawed against the confines of her skull, the space behind her eyes aching from the pressure. It's all my fault! She broke beneath the burden of that guilt. The Accepted turned away, hiding her face behind a curtain of dark brown hair.

“I don't know what to do...” she whispered, salt and moisture catching between long curling lashes.

[Sunny]

Jaryd Kosari

The young Keeper listened as the story fell out of Katrie in disjointed bits and pieces. At last, silence fell save for the sound of her uneven breath. "I don't know what to do," she murmured finally from beneath the screen of hair that had fallen between them. Jaryd cocked his head to the side thoughtfully, then took her by her upper arms and guided her to a bench.

"Sit," he said. She did, but then leaned forward until her face nearly touched her knees, her arms still wrapped tightly across her chest, body shaking with suppressed sobs. Jaryd sat beside her and waited until her breathing slowed before he spoke again. "That is a heavy burden to bear alone," he said, sitting forward with forearms resting on knees so his head was nearly on level with hers. "Would it help to know why he went to the Citadel?"

She turned her head to look at him, and he channeled, a flow of Air pushing the hair out of her face so she could see. As she stared at him, the Keeper rapidly weighed what he could tell her, versus what he should not. In truth, he could find very little reason to garnish the truth. Kaia might disagree, but….Kaia was not there. "What I tell you now is between you and I alone, serenla," he said quietly. "The only one that speaking of it would harm is the man who rescued you." The Accepted nodded slowly.

"Torellion has a record of troublemaking and problematic behavior. He pulled himself together as a Ji'alantin, but then it all fell down after he received his fancloak." Jaryd briefly outlined the man's history of fighting, drinking, carousing, and gambling, struggling to keep his voice neutral. Why did she look so troubled- had this Gaidin beguiled her so thoroughly? That did not sound like the Katrie Jaryd knew. "He was told to watch himself after he came back from Hama Valon with wounds from an obvious brawl. When he and Darrow got in a street fight last year he was told if there was one more incident, he would lose his cloak." He saw the sharp intake of breath. She does care for him.

"The night you were attacked, he deliberately broke Riahana Gaidar's parole in more ways than one," Jaryd said steadily. "From what I was able to determine, he drank himself into a stupor. Many believe that he would have attacked anything that looked at him sideways, and that that person happened to be the one who assaulted you." The Asha'man looked at her intently. "I don't necessarily agree with that opinion.”

He touched her shoulder, guiding her back upright. “Luckily for Torellion, neither did Riahana. She chose to take your rescue into consideration and gave him one more, final, chance. It is because of what he did for you that he is still Gaidin at all. Hopefully he comes back with that temper of his in check." He smiled ruefully at her, "and if I'm saying that, you know it's a problem."

The Accepted still looked distressed, her fingers curling into her skirts. More puzzle pieces.

[Jenn]

Katrie

What had Jaryd called her? Serenla? What did that mean? The question beat for a moment on wings borne of curiosity, but it was quickly swallowed by the larger monster of her shame.

“Dax didn't tell me any of this...” And why would he have? a small voice in her mind asked her snidely. She had invaded his mind; consent had been given, but for a temporary bond. The Tairen had not agreed to this... and she had trapped him, bound him to her with no way to escape... his only relief from her found in alcohol and fights. She was the reason for Dax's rapid downward spiral. She was the reason he and Rav had fought. The Accepted fought down a wave of sickening nausea. He could have lost the fancloak... all because of her. Oh Light, oh Light, oh Light... what had she done?

Katrie stared at Jaryd in mute horror, her fingers first curling, then clenching at folds of pristine white. The world reverberated around her, sound magnified and distorted beneath the Asha’man’s ward. She thought she would simply fold over and crumple beneath the guilt that ground inexorably downward against her – how much more could she take? How much more could she stand? She stretched out to touch the faint awareness on the other side of the bond, knowing he couldn't actually hear her. Dax... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!

“It's my fault.” The words spilled from her lips and she took a shaky breath, steeling herself inwardly for the inevitable look of Jaryd's disappointment. That... hurt... in a way she didn't fully comprehend. “It is my fault.”

Stupid stupid girl. She closed her eyes and now, more than ever, relief warred with panic, her tears winning over the need to get away.

“Dax killed that man because he could feel my assault.” The tears finally began to fall, pouring down her cheeks as quickly as the words poured from her mouth. She couldn't stop. “I bonded him.” Oh Light, I said it out loud... “I told him it would be only temporary... to make what we had between us better. It was never supposed to be... like this. I didn't want him inside of my head any more than he wanted me there in his. I told him I could undo it, which is the only reason why he agreed to it.” Her face fell and behind closed lids, the light faded completely from her eyes. “But... I did something different with the weave. I can't undo it. I can't release him.” Her voice broke.

Katrie forced herself to open her eyes, forced herself to look at Jaryd, even though his face swam and blurred before her. “That's the reason why he fell apart after his Gaidin test. Everything he's done, the drinking, the fighting... has been to try and get away from me... and my presence in his head.” Her brows drew together into an expression of absolute misery. “I ruined him, I hurt Rav... this is all my fault.”

[Sunny]

Jaryd Kosari

I bonded him, she told him, I told him it would be temporary….I can't undo it. The pieces turned in his mind as the full story came out between sobs, the Accepted's pretty face streaked with tears. He had suspected a romance, had even expected some drama. This went beyond anything he could have dreamed. He had bonded a woman against her will to save her life; when she asked for her freedom he gave it without hesitation, though it tore a hole in his soul.

I am Red Ajah. This cannot be tolerated.

The Void wrapped around him and Jaryd sat up straight, eyes cold and hard. He met Katrie's gaze with one brow lifted, head tilted slightly to the side. He saw the moment when she realized something had changed; she drew away from him slightly, looking down as tears flowed unchecked down her cheeks.

"You bonded this man." He said, each word pronounced with infinite care. She nodded slowly, and his lips thinned. "And you promised him you would release him once…whatever you were doing…was done." Nothing of his internal opinion of that choice showed. She nodded again, even slower. "And when you found you could not release him," he said coldly, "you allowed him to suffer for your choices." His voice dropped, and his eyes narrowed as he stared at her. "You had the option of accepting the consequences of your actions and begging the Hall's assistance in freeing him, and instead you allowed him to self-destruct."

She covered her face with her hands and fell face first into his lap, slender shoulders shaking with sobs. "It's my fault!" she repeated, voice muffled. He stared down at her, mind still turning rapidly as he appraising every option. There weren't many, given the circumstances, and only one that had a chance of happiness for anyone involved. Eventually he got his outrage under control and allowed the Void to fade.

He put his hands on the younger woman’s head, stroking her hair as he might have a child. In many ways, she still is. "As a channeler, even a weak one, you hold a power greater than any non-channeler can imagine,” his voice was low, but his tone was hard. “The temptation to use that power to get our way no matter the cost can be overwhelming, but it must be resisted. What you did to Dakson changed him forever, even if you had freed him when you promised. Do you understand?”

She nodded silently, and he sighed.

"If the Hall hears of what you have done, serenla, your penance would be….dire. I have heard of women who were stilled for less," he told her. She cringed. "Torellion would be lucky to find himself bonded to an inquisitive Green for the rest of his natural life. I cannot allow that to happen to a man who did not ask for it." He stroked her hair again.

"I also cannot allow you to be stilled; there are far more effective punishments for your crime.” He peered down at her then, face stern. "You will pass the bond to me, Accepted Aikaterine, and you will do it now."

[Jenn]

Katrie

There was that word again... Serenla. What did it mean? Katrie didn't know, but she was too afraid to ask. Stilled. She could be Stilled for what she had done. Before the enormity of that could sink in, that voice whispered to her from the shadowed places of her memory. Would that be so terribly bad? She shivered, unsure of where the thought had come from. The Accepted remembered all too vividly what being unable to touch the Power had done to her mama. It had very nearly broken the beautiful Domani.

And yet...

And yet she herself had done almost next to nothing with the Source in the past six months, had barely even been able to hold onto it... and had not even cared. Hot tears slid down the tip of her nose, falling against Jaryd's trousers. Would it break her too? Katrie closed her eyes, finding that she ached from the head to toe. Stilled. It couldn't possibly hurt as badly as this, guilt and shame scouring her insides bloody and raw.

“As for Torellion…he would be lucky to find himself bonded to an inquisitive Green for the rest of his natural life.”

All of her other thoughts died at the spectacular burst of caustic heat that ruptured up within the confines of her skull, the violent surge taking her breath away. Her cheekbone ground painfully against Jaryd's knee as her body rebelled against the force of it. Her mouth went dry. She had no words to describe what she felt. Dax… No, no, that wasn't fair. She couldn't... she could not let that happen to him. If there was a price owed, it was hers to pay, not his.

“I cannot allow that to happen to a man who did not ask for it.” The pretty Cairhienin felt the Asha'man's hands stroke over her hair again, one brown eye looking up through the tousled mess to meet Jaryd's. Suddenly, it didn't matter what the Hall eventually did to her. The Red’s expression was hard, tone implacable... but he would keep Dax safe? Free? Free from you… Katrie felt as if she was dying. “I also cannot allow you to be Stilled; there are far more effective punishments for your crime. You will pass the bond to me, Accepted Aikaterine, and you will do it now.”

The tall Accepted obeyed wordlessly. She pushed herself upright, mindful not to touch anything but the Asha'man's knees. She wiped at her cheeks, her motions unnaturally curt and abrupt, but her attention was already focusing inward. Katrie could not find the peace she needed to to embrace saidar so she made her own, pushing aside everything she could until there was a small bubble of calm shimmering within the maelstrom of her mind, untouched by the turmoil of her emotions. She let this small thing wash over her, the warmth of the female half of the One Power filling her. It was... not as bright as she remembered, the song muted, even as her senses jumped. The world sharpened into a myriad of crystal clear details. But it was still flat and colourless.

It was an odd thing... having to pass the bond. She gathered threads of Power to her, wrapping them gently around the part of her mind that Dax inhabited. She was trembling, she realized, as she lifted that awareness up and out, placing the weave so very carefully onto Asha'man Jaryd. There came the faintest hint of resistance, before the flows melted and disappeared into the Red's body. Katrie released saidar, hands balling into fists at her sides. Like a door slamming shut, she felt... nothing inside of her own head, no lingering traces of Dax... nothing to prove that he had ever shared the inside of her mind with her.

She was alone.

Her eyes were wild and wide and it did not register until too late that Jaryd was watching her. She couldn't breathe... oh Light, she couldn't breathe... She kept reaching for where the knot of emotions was supposed to be in the back of her mind. There was nothing there. Katrie paled, turning ashen beneath the coppery warmth of her skin. She was reeling, feeling as if the ground had simply vanished beneath her feet.

“I don't want to be Aes Sedai.” Her voice broke as she said it, not realizing it had been spoken out loud. She jerked a little as her chest spasmed painfully, her words echoing emptily back at her. “I don't want to be Aes Sedai,” she repeated, louder this time, feeling that truth resonate within the very marrow of her bones. “I don't... want to be bound by the Oaths.” Her fists clenched tighter, nails digging into her palms. “I don't want that kind of power over anyone... I don’t care about it… I… I just want to be left alone,” she finished dully, the emotions she felt so keenly before fading together into a blurred mess of washed out grey.

[Sunny]

Jaryd Kosari

The Accepted straightened, and a few minutes later, Jaryd felt his skin tingle as the Cairhienin woman channeled. He forced himself back into the Void, to hold saidin in his grasp while doing nothing. The emptiness helped; the prospect of having another presence in his mind unsettled him. His mind spun, contemplating what the differences might be.

Finally he felt a nudge against his mind and he reached for what was offered, looping the invisible bindings with saidin and laying them across his soul. He released the One Power, and suddenly he could sense the Gaidin to the north. He felt along that bond experimentally, comparing it to what he had observed of his bond to Carra. There were similarities and differences. The flows were woven differently, and sparked at his touch, like the static that accumulated before a storm. He felt the moment when that presence –so undeniably male- recognized his presence, but kept his touch steady.

The Keeper turned his attention back to Katrie. Kaia’s daughter sat, wide-eyed and open mouthed, gasping for air as her fingers flexed on her skirt. It’s not such a comfortable experience, is it? He thought in sympathy. He had sat as she did now after releasing Carra, paralyzed by her absence. Another expression crossed Katrie’s face, and he sighed.

Abruptly she exploded, words pouring out. He understood that feeling all too well, as well. He had thought something similar once, as a young man laying in a narrow bed. When the opportunity presented itself, he had taken it. He had run, knowing that if they caught him, he would die. His freedom had meant so much more to him than his life in that moment, and the Three Oaths hadn’t even been a consideration. How much more difficult it must be for her.

“Unfortunately, not everything in the world goes the way we want it to,” he said carefully. “The Pattern serves a greater purpose than our personal happiness, and puts us into the place where we can do the most good. What is important is to take the thread we were woven and make the best of it. That can often mean giving things up –hopes, dreams, years of work, even freedom- in favor of something larger.” As he spoke, he reached along the bond once more, flows of Spirit working their way through. He pulled sharply, a summons the stranger could not ignore, and tied off the flows.

He smiled at her. “I am well versed in the use of Spirit,” he said. “I will examine this bond you have created, and if it is in my power to do so, I will free your Dax.”

Her eyes met his. He half-expected another tirade like the one she had give him when he first met her. Instead she simply said, “You will?”

He bowed his head to her. “If it is the last thing I do on this earth.”

Dax

Dax fell with a grunt as Malina’s fist connected with his gut. “Why didn’t you block, Torellion?” the tiny woman snapped, standing over him with both hands on her hips. “I thought I’d taught you better than that.” He stared up at her, barely able to comprehend the words that came out of those cherry-red lips beyond the roaring in his ears.

The Tairen felt along the bond that stretched into the south, searching desperately for some explanation of what had happened. The bond had shivered, and Katrie had disappeared entirely. Even at a distance he knew without further explanation that a man had taken her place. As he stared up at Malina in confusion, he felt something tug at the bond, then that presence vanished. All that remained was an overwhelming need to return to the man who had taken his bond.

“I have to- go,” he managed to say. He didn’t wait for the Gaidar’s nod, simply pushed himself to his feet and walked blindly off the court. Somehow he made it to his chamber and closed the door before he doubled over, the unexpected pain in his chest more than he could bear. What happened? Katrie… In the silence where Katrie had once been, the summons throbbed like a war drum.

[Jenn]

Katrie

That was the second time Jaryd had given her his word... in almost the same exact phrasing as the first. Despite everything, she felt the beginnings of a smile tease at the corners of her mouth. Katrie had doubted him in the beginning; the odds had been stacked against him, and she had dared not hope too much for fear of being let down. And yet Jaryd had found a way to fulfill his first promise. Her mama was at the Grey Tower, Healed, and an Aes Sedai again. That he would find a way to set Dax free... Sable eyes slid closed and Katrie nodded, both to acknowledge the Asha'man's words and to remind herself that this was the right thing to do... even if her heart felt as if it was being torn in pieces.

Her tears continued on unabated, the Cairhienin unable to stem the flow of them. Somehow, that didn't matter. She managed a small sad smile and forced herself to meet Jaryd's steady gaze. “Thank you.” The taste of salt coated her tongue and her lips. “And thank you for not calling me a stupid girl. I... ” She drew in a long shuddering breath, unable to stop the way she recoiled from the loneliness at being the only one inside her mind. “I wish...” Slender hands lifted from her lap and Katrie spread her hands helplessly. “I wish my mama had met you first.” Blunt. Honest.

She wasn't entirely sure where that had come from, but as the words passed her lips to hang in the air between them, she found that she didn't regret saying them. Slowly, Katrie pushed herself to her feet, pausing to pull in another deep breath. “Asha'man Jaryd.” Again, she curtsied more deeply to him than she would have to anyone else, and managed to hang on to her dignity for several more minutes.

When had she started running? She gulped down air, her throat and chest burning. Katrie ran and ran until physical pain stitched up her side, piercing and agonizing. And still she ran, trying to outpace the world that frayed and crumbled around her. She collapsed into a heap finally, against a broken wall at the grassy ruins of the old Tower. She curled in on herself, burying her head between her arms. She had found the Tairen here once before... but there was no one waiting there for her now.

Dax...

[Sunny]

Jaryd

Jaryd sat on the bench for a very long time after Katrie departed, lost in his own thoughts. I wish my mama had met you first, Katrie had declared. Then she had curtsied and left, barely making it fifteen feet before he heard her break into a run. He stared blankly into the air, his heart twisting in his chest as he thought about the Domani woman he had brought to the Grey Tower.

I wish she had, too, serenla. There was little he would not give to have spared her the pain she had experienced at the hands of Estius and her husband.

The Asha’man stood, cutting the flows that bounds his Ward in place with a twitch of his fingers. Then he walked back to his study, thoughts already straying ahead to the green eyes that waited there.