To Fix What's Broken

[Roan]

The hour was late, and Riahana was in her family quarters, just about to get ready for bed when there was a knock at the door. With Einion already in bed, Ria looked to Gareth, “I will answer it.” Her husband rumbled an acknowledgement as he disappeared into their bedroom. With Tia off in the Novice Quarters, the Mistress of Arms wondered what would bring someone to their quarters at this late hour.

Opening the door, Ria recognized a young Ji’dar she trained with bow. “Forgive the intrusion, Mistress of Arms. I was told to deliver this missive to you.”

Ria took the note offered to her by the young woman, and scanned the message. Dammit, Dax. A simple thought, but with a complex set of emotions to go with it. The Gaidar kept her expression impassive as she looked back to the Ji, “Thank you, Ji’dar Aphia, you are dismissed.” She closed the door, and made her way to the bedroom, where she looked longingly at the bed, which already held her husband, “My day is not yet done. I have unexpected business to attend to...I will return as soon as I can, but do not wait up.”

Given that Gareth was a Yellow, it did not take Ria long to reach the infirmary. Most who worked the infirmary either knew or knew of the Mistress of Arms, and one Accepted directed her to the bed she asked after. As she approached, Ria saw that Dax’s eyes were closed. She was all too familiar with what healing could do to a person. She wondered how coherent he would be.

The Gaidar wanted to yell at him, shake him. . .something to knock sense into him. She'd given him a second chance, and he threw it away. She wanted to know why. Anger threatened to bubble to the surface, but Ria pulled the Void around her. It would not do for her to let her emotions get the better of her.

[Sunny]

((This is a continuation of Watch Me Burn. ))

Dax floated in a sea of light, vaguely aware of the fading ache in his bones and the weariness in his head. The pain that had built over the weeks since Katrie bonded him had vanished, as had the sickening distortion of alcohol, both banished once more by the ice and fire of Healing. How many times would the touch of the One Power chase away that demon before the Tower finally gave up on him?

Katrie shared the void with him, he realized. For the first time since she had bonded him, all he could feel was soft contentment tinged with exhaustion. Something seemed different about her presence in his mind, but his tired mind could not place what. Perhaps it was simply the lack of anger. An Accepted walked toward him, and he closed his eyes. Feigned sleep turned into actual slumber within moments.

He woke several hours later to find Riahana standing above him, blue eyes cold and disappointed. Ria had given him a chance where no one else would; to see that look in her eye now made his stomach twist.It was on her word alone he had not gone to the Citadel after the incident with Ravak. In the moment he would have said anything to get away, and as soon as she released him, his feet had carried him to the nearest tavern.

“Riahana Gaidar,” he said, giving her a weary salute in greeting. “I had a feeling I would be seeing you sooner rather than later.”

[Roan]

The Mistress of Arms studied the Gaidin for several moments, not saying a word, or letting any trace of emotion slip. He knew why she was here. . .how could he not? To say she was disappointed was an understatement, though exactly what the Gaidar might say was a mystery even to her. She wondered for a moment what would have happened if she'd sent him to the Citadel after his scrap with young Darrow.

Second guessing choices already made and past did little good for anyone involved. Perhaps Dax wouldn't be in the infirmary now, but then perhaps he'd be dead and long buried.

Riahana let go a slow sigh before finally speaking in an even tone, “I doubt I need to tell you I am disappointed, Dax. I do wonder what was going through your mind? What has been going through your mind these last months?”

[Sunny]

Dax wanted to look her in the eye, but his gaze dropped after only a moment, head turning slightly to the side. His cheeks burned, and his fingers twisted in the blanket. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it, searching for a plausible response. Katrie… their bond still hummed with her quiet contentment, and abruptly his shame burned away.

"I hope I knocked that bastard's block off," he growled, his thoughts straying back to the moment he had realized he knew Rolan from...before. “He was hurting Accepted Aikaterine...I did what needed to be done.” And more. His cheeks burned again as he remembering her body against his afterward. The feel of her lips on his, amplified by the bond they shared, had been worth every miserable second of the preceding months.

“As for the rest- I came to the Tower to avoid the consequences of a very bad decision, and I’ve not stopped making them since. I can’t say that much of anything has been going through my mind lately beyond drowning reality by whatever means necessary...and if that didn’t work, punching it in the bloody face.”

[Roan]

Another disappointed sigh came from Ria as she continued to study Dax. Most who came to the Tower had a back story that was none-too pleasant. The Gaidin in front of her admitted he was running from his past, and had been since he first signed the Warder Yards Roster Book. He came by the Fancloak from such a different path than the one she took to earn hers. Ultimately, it did not matter to the Mistress of Arms how he, or anyone came to the Yards, so long as they lived up to the character and values expected of each and every one. Riahana was firm, but fair in dealing with those who came under her command. It was all she knew how to be, really.

“I appreciate that you were trying to protect one of our Accepted, but you took a man’s life,” Ria paused to let the nugget of news sink in. “You killed him. Did he need to be stopped? Of course, but you took it too far, Gaidin.”

Riahana did not take her piercing gaze off of the wayward Gaidin, “You have forced my hand, Dax. I have no choice. If I do nothing, others will believe discipline means naught in the Yards. You will go to the Citadel and remain there until such time you prove yourself worthy of returning and living up to the standards expected of anyone who wears the Fancloth.”

[Sunny]

You killed him.

Dax had known he had taken it further than the Tower would have liked with Rolan, but he had not intentionally killed him. Or had he? He thought back over what he knew of that man, and shuddered. The rush of anger he had felt had not been entirely due to what Rolan had been doing to Katrie. Other faces, other times….Light, his past had caught up with him and Katrie had been hurt for it. No…he did not regret bringing an end to that particular thread in the Pattern. If that makes me a poor Gaidin, so be it.

“-You will go to the Citadel and remain there until such time you prove yourself worthy of returning and living up to the standards expected of anyone who wears the Fancloth,” the Mistress of Arms finished.

Dax flinched.“How long will that be?” he asked, struggling to hide his horror at the sentence he had been served. Light! He had already spent more time in the Blight than he ever wanted to. He involuntarily reached for Katrie’s presence in his mind, only to find her still sleeping. The soothing waves of slumber washed over him, bringing with it the knowledge that he would have to leave her behind, as well, locked away in a distant corner of his mind.

“As long as it takes, Gaidin,” Riahana said, eyes still locked on his. “That is entirely up to you.”

Dax’s mind wandered to memories of his time at the Citadel before, and he started cursing under his breath. He didn’t bother to hide the endless litany of foul language coming out of his mouth- he was already in disgrace, so what did it matter?

[Roan]

Riahana was a patient woman these days. She waited until the string of curses seemed to die out as she studied the man she trained in sword. If she weren’t so disappointed in him, she would have been amused by his outburst. More than aware of what happened on his last assignment to the Citadel, she knew he wouldn’t like the idea, though that wasn’t the reason he was being sent there.

In Dax, Ria saw raw potential. He would never be a Caden Ives, nor would she expect him to be, but despite the outwardly flippant attitude Dax was known for, there was significantly more depth to the man. Lately, he seemed off-kilter, and she suspected there was a story there, though it was none of her business if he chose not to divulge.

The Citadel was not where wayward trainees and Warders were sent to whip them into shape, but rather a place for them to prove themselves. Some of the Tower’s best Gaidin and Gaidar resided at the Citadel on a nearly permanent basis. One of the Gaidar came to mind when Ria was contemplating what to do with Dax. There were bizarre similarities between the two, and it was for that reason Ria opted to assign her wayward Gaidin to the far-flung outpost.

Movement off to her left caught Ria’s attention. One of the Yellow Aes Sedai motioned for her to wrap up. Their patient needed rest, after all. After a simple nod for acknowledgement, Ria looked back to Dax, “Rest up. We leave for the Citadel first thing in the morning.” She turned to leave, and as she stepped out of the wing, a Gaidin and Gaidar stepped in, one taking up post at each entrance. It would not do to have their wayward Gaidin go missing before leaving for the Citadel, would it?

[Sunny]

Dax watched the Mistress of Arms depart in relative silence. Despite his troubled thoughts, sleep claimed him quickly, restless dreams plaguing him through the rest of the night until at last his Gaidar guard shook him awake.

As the dawn sun crested the horizon his guards escorted Dax to the Traveling Yard, where Riahana waited silently. An Aes Sedai opened a Gateway, and he stared at it in breathless horror, remembering what had happened the last time he had left the Tower. She doesn’t know. The deep contentment of sleep still washed from Katrie’s part of his mind; when she woke he would be gone with no explanation and no farewell. He had not expected that thought to pain him.

It was everything he could do to breath evenly, walk steadily, and hold his head high as they marched him through that hole in the air. Any hint of hesitation, and he put Katrie in jeopardy. The punishment for bonding a man against his will -as surely it would be seen by the Tower no matter what he said- was far worse than anything he might encounter in Shienar. I cannot allow that. Once in the Citadel he jerked free of their grasp, turning just in time to see the gateway snap shut and feel the Accepted’s presence dwindle to a distant spot in the south. After the inferno that had raged between them in Hama Valon, his mind felt cold, dark, and devoid of feeling.

He turned to face Riahana, face flat. He missed most of what she said, his thoughts grappling
with the emptiness in his head, feeling for a faint presence that he could not reach. He stood in silence for several long minutes, then bowed his head in weary acquiescence to his fate. What else could he do?

(( This thread is not complete yet! However, it's continued in I Can Be More Than I Expect of Me. ))

[Roan]

With a grim expression, Riahana watched as the Gaidin and Gaidar escorted Dax away. He had been healed, but he was not yet at 100%, of that she was sure. The Mistress of Arms let out a heavy, weary sigh before turning on her heel, and heading to the top of the wall. She’d seen two familiar faces up there watching their arrival. At least they made themselves easy to find, she thought.

“Oniko, Malina,” Ria addressed the pair that still stood along the wall as she approached. “It is good to see you both well,” she opened by way of greeting.

“It is not every day the Mistress of Arms visits us,” Oniko replied. He was the quartermaster for the Citadel, and had the look about him. Burly, and no-nonsense.

Malina was Saldaean, like Riahana, though much shorter than the Mistress of Arms. She also had a bit of a reputation amongst the ranks as someone with an. . .interesting personality. She could likely give Dax a run for his money. “Miss the Borderlands, did you?” she asked with a smirk.

Ria was no stranger to the Citadel, and made sure to do her fair share of rotations to the Borderlands outpost as her schedule would allow. She returned Malina’s smirk with one of her own, “Always, Malina, though you should know. This is supposed to be a rotational assignment, yet I can’t seem to pry you or Oniko away.”

Her fellow Saldaean let her smirk grow wider, “I would worry I’d grow soft if I didn’t stay out here. Besides. . .who would you have to look after the raw recruits you keep sending out here for rotations, eh?”

“Untested, perhaps, though I wouldn’t go so far as to say they are raw,” Ria replied, matching smirk for smirk.

Oniko nodded towards where Ria, Dax and his escort arrived, “So what is his story?”

Ria suppressed the frown that threatened the corners of her lips as she gave a slight tilt of her head, “Complicated, and doesn’t need to be public knowledge either.” Dax messed up, and would pay for it, to be sure, but Ria was not prone to humiliate those who made mistakes. She would rather they learn from them, and hoped Dax might learn from this. “He is to be on light duty until the infirmary clears him as fit for service. Oniko, I’m sure I don’t need to tell you light duty doesn’t mean no duty. Do not be shy putting him to work, and ramp up that work once he is declared fit.”

Looking to Malina, Ria allowed a slight smirk, “Dax is an interesting character. Known as a bit of a player among ladies. I first met him when the Ubriel Gaidar sent him to me to learn forms with the sword. Initially, he implied he didn’t need the forms, as he fought dirty, and would use whatever advantages he could.”

As Malina’s smirk grew, so did Ria’s, and Oniko gave an outright bark of a laugh. Ria held up a hand and nodded in his direction, “Having said that, he was a very capable student, and put in a great deal of effort with the blade. We’ve had more than one training session, and I can assure you he has improved with each and every session. He still fights dirty, but manages to incorporate his style into his technique.” In other words, she’d been impressed with his progress.

“What he lacks, though, is focus, and misses the point of the Void. . .what advantages it brings to the table, if you will,” Ria continued. She looked from Oniko to Malina, “I think he might be well primed for someone like you to test him and push him. The man has great potential, and I do not want to see it wasted. Don’t hold back.”

With that, Malina snorted, “When have I ever held back? I will work my magic on him. . .find his buttons, and push them appropriately.” A wicked smirk popped up, “Or inappropriately.”

Ria rolled her eyes, “I did not just hear that. Don’t break him. . .the idea is to fix him.”

“Don’t worry, Mistress of Arms,” Malina replied with the smirk replaced by a more somber look, “We will fix what’s broken.”