This wasn't the first time he had been asked about his ring finger. It hadn't even been the first time a Novice had asked about it. Rav looked at the wound with a frown, as if somehow it held the answer to the question that had been raised. Do I want to tell her about what had happened? He had only recently told Katrie what had occurred, if a bit evasively. He bit on his inner cheek as he thought.
Sniffing, as if the fresh air would lessen the wound he was about to reopen, he opened up his right hand, and splayed his fingers across his leg. "I was thirteen, staying with my uncle for some reason for another, when he beckoned me through to his study. He was a captain in the Shienaran army, a fine good one apparently. He had this scar here." Rav ran his left index finger across his left cheek. "It made him look... severe. He was always severe, very grim looking and grim sounding. He bore duty on his shoulders as if it were the only thing in life itself."
He puffed out his cheeks and blew out an exaggerated breath. "Anyways, I was staying with my uncle, my mother's brother, when he called me to his study. He had this knife, more of a dagger, about eight inches of steel. And he was grinding it into his desk, portentously. I was a child and-" He had heard his voice quaver, and stopped to steady it. When he was confident he could remain composed, he continued. "My father is Andoran, and whilst he serves the Shienaran army, he's not Shienaran. My uncle thought I took too much after my father, which somehow meant I didn't understand what duty in Shienar meant. So he thought to teach me a lesson, give me a constant reminder about how anything was worth the price of peace." Rav's fingers flexed on his lap, as if feeling the blade cut down anew. "So he took from me my first sacrifice."
He clenched his right hand in a fist, the golden ring catching the light. He tried to make his face and his voice calm and even. Yet a scowl marred his brow, and his voice was harsh when he spoke again. "I never had another plan for my life other than to join up with the army. Never had a plan to don the grey of the Warders Yard and serve an Aes Sedai several hundred leagues from home." He stopped again, wary he was stepping into territory that would likely set himself off in either a rage or a torrent of tears. Rav didn't wish to make either sort of display before the Novice.
He laughed, attempting to defuse the mood, but his heart wasn't in it. "My apologies." Although he meant it, even that sounded half-hearted.
Sniffing, as if the fresh air would lessen the wound he was about to reopen, he opened up his right hand, and splayed his fingers across his leg. "I was thirteen, staying with my uncle for some reason for another, when he beckoned me through to his study. He was a captain in the Shienaran army, a fine good one apparently. He had this scar here." Rav ran his left index finger across his left cheek. "It made him look... severe. He was always severe, very grim looking and grim sounding. He bore duty on his shoulders as if it were the only thing in life itself."
He puffed out his cheeks and blew out an exaggerated breath. "Anyways, I was staying with my uncle, my mother's brother, when he called me to his study. He had this knife, more of a dagger, about eight inches of steel. And he was grinding it into his desk, portentously. I was a child and-" He had heard his voice quaver, and stopped to steady it. When he was confident he could remain composed, he continued. "My father is Andoran, and whilst he serves the Shienaran army, he's not Shienaran. My uncle thought I took too much after my father, which somehow meant I didn't understand what duty in Shienar meant. So he thought to teach me a lesson, give me a constant reminder about how anything was worth the price of peace." Rav's fingers flexed on his lap, as if feeling the blade cut down anew. "So he took from me my first sacrifice."
He clenched his right hand in a fist, the golden ring catching the light. He tried to make his face and his voice calm and even. Yet a scowl marred his brow, and his voice was harsh when he spoke again. "I never had another plan for my life other than to join up with the army. Never had a plan to don the grey of the Warders Yard and serve an Aes Sedai several hundred leagues from home." He stopped again, wary he was stepping into territory that would likely set himself off in either a rage or a torrent of tears. Rav didn't wish to make either sort of display before the Novice.
He laughed, attempting to defuse the mood, but his heart wasn't in it. "My apologies." Although he meant it, even that sounded half-hearted.
))