The Grey Tower

Zarayne pressed the door shut behind her, sealing off the world of the Grey Tower from her spacious room in the Novices' Quarters. The room was dark, with the curtains still drawn. That small square of glass was the only natural light for the whole room, but it also allowed others to look in, and Zarayne more than appreciated her privacy.

The bed on the right was perfectly made up, ready for a roommate should the Mistress of Novices ever assign her one. Zee's own bed also seemed unslept in, except that the top sheet and pillow were on the floor. Like most Aiel, Zarayne eschewed the softness of a bed for the firm ground beneath her feet. She did use the small desk set aside for writing, but only for holding her books and notes. The floor also made for a good writing surface.

Zarayne lit the stand lamp on her desk with a small piece of burning charcoal, saying it was forbidden for apprentices to channel. The temptation to reach out to the Source was always there though. She struggled to see how a Wise One could live a life without channelling, but then Zarayne had only ever known one Wise One, and she was a thousand miles distant.

She removed her slippers by the side of the door, grateful for the cool touch of stone beneath her heels. Next she removed her dress, marked at the knees from scrubbing floors in the morning, and spotted with fine black spots from an earlier class. An Asha'man's apprentice gesticulated too wildly had sent an inkwell flying halfway across the room. Ruined dress was thrown into a corner, followed by her shift. It was unmarked, but still dirty from a day's worth of labour. In two long strides, Zarayne was in the middle of the room, wrapping the bedsheet around herself for warmth and modesty. It wasn't even a poor substitute for the cadin'sor, but it ranked higher than the white wetlander dresses.

Sitting where she stood on the large impression of the sinuous white and black disc, Zee pulled a small set of drawings from underneath her bed. They were floor plans of the Grey Tower, all hand drawn and covered with various notes. Somewhere amongst the hallways and corridors was her mother's study. No-one had asked her to find it, not even her mum, but it gave the Aielwoman a purpose above and beyond the need to understand and control her powers, and potentially to also become an Aes Sedai.

There was an unexpected knock at the door. Zarayne rose quickly, looking into the corner with her dirty laundry. How long did she have to get back into the damned dress before the person got impatient? Half a minute? She dropped the sheet, bolted for the corner, and had her shift pulled on before the latch clicked open.

The first thing Zarayne checked was the hem of the newcomer's white dress before she took in any other detail. She tugged the shift down around her thighs before giving the novice a hard glare. "I did not invite you in. Are you not meant to be invited?" An Aiel would not waltz in unbidden, and she thought the same was true for wetlanders. It was only that invasion of privacy, and not her state of undress, that brought crimson to her cheeks.

Fortunately the unnamed novice closed the door behind her, otherwise Zarayne would have gripped her by the wrist and thrown her out into the corridor. Instead the Aiel just rounded on the woman, using her additional height to glare down at the dark-haired youth. "Who are you? Do you have a message?" The Tower was all about sending messages, but never in person. That was one of the odder chores she had to attend to. "And can it wait?"

Small toes wriggled experimentally in the white slippers, solemn gaze eyeing the exposed dark skin along the back of her hands. Affie frowned, rubbing absently at the thin snaking scars. Scars always been this pale? Skin always been this dark? The division between her wrist and clothing was painful. White... was so white. She fidgeted a little but was soon ushered out to begin her new life as a Novice.

Could channel. Could channel. Her. The mongrel thief street rat.

Had to be some kind of joke. Didn’t make any sense. Had to be some kind of mistake. Didn’t seem to be as she listened to where her new room was... along with her new roommate. Didn’t want a roommate. Liked her old Drin room just fine, with no one else in it, but apparently Novices were to be housed inside the Tower and not anywhere else. Come to think of it, why weren’t the Drin and Ji in the same place as the Novices and Accepted and Soldiers and Dedicated? Was an awful long walk for the Drin and Ji anytime they wanted to, or had to, come into the Tower.

She mashed her bottom lip against her teeth as the small Novice peered back down the hallway. Had just come from there. One right. One more left. Five doors down and... Affie took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut. Let this be the right stupid room. She knocked. Nothing. No call to wait, no acknowledgement... the Altaran leaned forward, pressing an ear to the door. All she heard was her slippers creaking slightly in protest. Maybe her new roommate was away at classes or chores or eating or... or whatever else Novices did. Food was good. She was starting to get hungry again.

She pulled the latch up and pushed open the door, then squeaked as possibly the tallest woman... girl... person... thing... she had ever seen emerged from the corner of the room and glared. And glared. Lots of glaring. There was someone else here! Affie’s eyes darted to the nearest desk, but as the other began to speak, the confusion and the apprehension and fear of the past several hours faded away, leaving behind sullen resentment. She slammed the door shut with a little too much force.

“Didn’t answer,” she responded curtly with a frown. “How can you invite someone in if you don’t answer? And it’s my room too. Don’t need to be invited. I’m Affie. Don’t have any message and no, can’t wait. Aes Sedai told me to go and find my room and my new roommate. Said that we had a lot of the same classes and that I’d be shown around and told what to do and what not to do.”

She shook her head as the words jumped off her tongue, the reality of her new circumstances sinking in with a dreadful sort of finality. The bundled mop of curly hair at the top of her head bounced as she scrambled for the safety of the cubbyhole. Scarred fingers dragged the chair out of the way and she ducked into the small space beneath the desk, curling up with a miserable sigh. Better. This was better. As her breathing finally evened out, the horrible tightness in her chest faded. Dark eyes peered out at the very tall woman-girl-person-thing.

“Who’re you? This your room too? Makes us roommates then?”

Had Zarayne been raised in the streets of Fal Dara like her father, she may have likened Affie's scampering to that of an alley cat's. As it was, however, Zarayne had no idea what to equate this quick-speaking novice's actions to. The Aielwoman still stood at the door in a bit of shock as she attempted to figure out what had just happened.

"You're my new roommate?" Zarayne asked with a touch of disbelief. "Affie, you said?" Probably not her actual name -- wetlanders tended to have longer names -- but then they also liked being called strange things.

She crouched down so that she was more or less at eye level with her new roommate. She rested on the balls of her feet, ready to spring at a moment's notice like her mother had taught her. In the same light, Zarayne found herself casting a critical eye over Affie. Even for a wetlander, she seemed quite short. And lacking in spirit. What was the woman hiding underneath the desk for?

"My name is Zarayne. I am Aiel, but of no sept or clan; my mother left the Three-fold Land before I was a young child." Affie was fidgeting with her hands beneath the desk. One of the fingers seemed misshapen. Zee smiled at that. "You have danced," she proudly acknowledged. "I've not seen many apprentices who have danced before. There are plenty who wish they have, and have that maiden's spirit in them. But you have already been fortunate." She nodded approvingly, then pulled loose strands of flame-red hair away from her face.

Zarayne rose up to cross back to her corner of the room with the discarded dress. She tugged it on with some reluctance, but at least it covered up the red and pink blotches on her forearms and upper chest. Unlike Affie, Zarayne had no proud tale to tell about how she earned those markings through battle.

Dress restored, Zarayne gathered up her sheet and pillow and deposited them on her bed. Standing on the black Fang in the centre of the room, the taller novice looked towards her companion. "Would you like to do or talk about something?"

Dark, solemn eyes peered out at her new roommate. Zarayne. Aiel. Tall. And not so bad... wasn’t quite so alarming or tense now that the other Novice had backed away. Was clothed again, though Affie had made sure not to stare at the misshapen red splotches on the other girl’s arms and chest. Knew what it was like to have scars, to have them stared at. Least she could do was give Zarayne the same consideration that she herself wanted.

And! The tall Aiel had smiled too. That was good. Smiles were good. Though Affie wasn’t entirely sure what Zarayne had meant by ‘dance’, the other’s approval was evident. Wringing scarred hands together for a moment, she slowly eased herself out of the cubbyhole. Somehow, the small Altaran didn’t think it meant actual dancing, like what happened in taverns or with nobles.

She scrambled to her feet, hastily tugging down the the skirts that had risen up to her knees. She scowled down at herself, giving the white fabric a sudden, vicious yank. “Hate this dress!” Affie informed Zarayne vehemently, her entire body radiating with unabashed aggravation. “Was a Drin until yesterday. Was getting used to being in the Yards. Was learning how to read and write, and was even going to ask Ravak Gaidin to teach me how to use swords. Could also get food whenever I wanted, could go into the city whenever I liked. But suddenly, the test they gave me says that I can be taught to channel. Now I’m... this!”

As suddenly as her outrage had come, it disappeared, leaving her deflated and still hungry. Affie looked up at the much taller girl almost mournfully. The green eyes were pretty. Was taller than Alric, too. She sighed quietly, mashing her bottom lip against her teeth. Not knowing what else to do, she spent some time looking around the room. It was more sparse and utilitarian than her room in the Yards had been. Bed, desk, nightstand, mirror... everything the same on both sides. There was a singular window with the curtain draw over it.

Affie’s attention returned back to her new roommate. “How long have you been here? Don’t know very many Aiel... you’re my first one, in fact.” She smiled a little, her hands lifting in an awkward gesture. “Don’t know much about being a Novice, either. What’s it like?”

"A couple of months," replied Zarayne to the first question. "It took me another two to travel to the Grey Tower, so it feels a lot longer. As for being a novice, I don't know." She spread her hands out. "It hasn't been long enough for me to form an opinion. But training at the Tower and being here is what I'm supposed to do. Maybe our opinion doesn't matter until we are Accepted or Aes Sedai."

Zarayne crossed over to her table, gesturing at the short stack of books laying upon it. "This is a part of our apprenticeship." She cast a cautious eye over Affie. It wasn't right to mention another's faults, but then Affie had mentioned it first. She nipped at her lip thoughtfully for a moment before adding, "If you need any assistance, I can help you."

The Aiel returned to her spot in the middle of the room, not sure what she was meant to do. She'd always had her own room. Sharing was not in her nature simply because she had no experience in it. She frowned at the puzzle before her, not realising that she was fidgeting by biting at both of her lips.

"Maybe you can still learn swords?" Zarayne ventured. She smiled sympathetically at her new roommate's plight. "I've been some novices and soldiers training with the Drin. Can't you still ask--" she paused before continuing "--Ravak Gaidin to teach you?"

The small Novice chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, dark solemn eyes studying the tall Aiel carefully. Only Alric had ever helped her read and write. Was nice of Zarayne to offer... wouldn’t be the same, but would be okay too. Affie didn’t see why not. Could even read each other stories later on. Maybe. If the other Novice liked stories... but didn’t everyone? The Altaran didn’t actually know. Wondered which stories her roommate had heard and which she hadn’t. There were so many to choose from and just as many books in the Library to borrow.

The one with the house made of things to eat was still her favourite, even if the gingerbread walls were stale and there were bugs stuck to the icing.

The shock of frizzy hair gathered at the top of her head shifted as Affie shot a curious look over at the books on what must’ve been Zarayne’s desk. Meant the empty one was hers. What kinds of books were they? Pages filled with heroic knights and strange princes kissing princesses in forests? Scarred fingers twisted at the white fabric along her hips and the slight woman decided against asking. Later. Time later, to ask.

“Thank you,” she murmured quietly instead, responding to the offer to help her with reading and writing with abashed gratitude. Her feet shuffled awkwardly. Didn’t know what else to to do, but ‘ thank you’ was the right thing to say when someone offered to help and they didn’t have to. “Know all my letters,” she said a little proudly, “and can write good - well,” Affie corrected herself hastily, “with both hands. But punctuation is still confusing sometimes.”

She sighed a little and plopped down in the floor, leaning back against what was going to be her bed. “Suppose I could still ask Ravak Gaidin to teach me how to fight with swords, but it’s not the same.” Affie craned her neck back and - and up and up - until she was able to meet her roommate’s eyes. “Got used to the idea of being a Gaidin. Maybe even someone’s Warder. Kind of liked it.”

Like Alric’s, maybe? She lapsed into silence for several moments as her thoughts spun. Had been, in one of his Arches. Saved his life. She smiled a little, her expression softening. Had saved his life when she had gone to find him out in Hama Valon. He had told her so. Liked that feeling. Didn’t so much like the idea of getting hurt, or dying, but... to save his life... would be worth it. Couldn’t really do that now that she could channel though... could she?

“Guess the only thing different is... in whites and can channel. Suppose if I learned how to use swords, would mean that I need less protecting...?” Affie’s look became contemplative. “Heard some things about Aiel culture... not sure how much of it’s true though,” she said apologetically. “Do you know how to fight? Could learn together, maybe?”

Zarayne dropped down to the floor, sitting against her own bed in a pose much like Affie. "No, I don't know how to fight. Wise Ones, those Aiel women who help guide our people, are safe from violence under je'i'toh. Well, that is true in the Three-fold Land at least. I was training to be one, learning the skills and the crafts needed, but..." She shrugged with a gesture to the room. "I guess I am a Wise One's apprentice no longer." She gave her dress a dismissive tug. The Mistress of Novices had burnt her cadin'sor and she missed it something fierce.

"I know how to use a knife, but only for skinning rabbits. I don't know how to track or to dance like a maiden." She rubbed her hands together. "It never even occurred to me before that I could learn to dance like a maiden." As a child she had fantasised about being a Far Dareis Mai, like her mother had been before she became a Wise One. Those dreams had faded to nothingness as her apprenticeship became a reality. But now, here, she could do both.

If only she could figure out how to deal with the Ravak Darrow problem.

"I'm not sure about learning together," she said apologetically. "I don't feel like the Warder Yards is somewhere I should be. And the concept of using a weapon is still a strange one." Another mini shrug. "Maybe there's something else we could do together instead? If you want to learn about the Aiel, she can ask each other questions? I don't even know where you're from. Somewhere in the wetlands, I'm assuming?"

Dark solemn eyes regarded her roommate, Affie nodding along slightly as Zarayne spoke. Drin and Wise One apprentice... no longer what they were. In whites now. “Warder Yards isn’t so bad, but... suppose being a Novice takes up a lot of time.”

She looked down at her hands, studying the thin twisting scars that laced along her skin. “From Altara, but have been lots of places,” the small Novice answered finally. “Illian, Murandy, Tear... never made it to Mayene.” Reminded her of Alric again. “Liked the accent in Illian. It do be quite fine,” she mimicked with a little grin. “Wanted to see Tarabon, but didn’t want to cross Amadicia or Ghealdan.” Whitecloaks. Definitely not so good. She shrugged, giving the white fabric bunched around her legs an irritable tug.

“Came to the Tower by accident, really. Got caught stealing food from a small village in northern Andor. Didn’t have a jail, but wasn’t allowed to stay, so was sent on the first caravan out. Happened to be going to Hama Valon. Two guards sent me to the Warder Yards as a new recruit. Wasn’t, and... spilled honey all over Ravak Gaidin’s floors and got scared... went and hid under his desk.” That wasn’t so good. Had still been nice to her though; that was good. “Was still nice to me... so decided to stay. Also got my own room and food and would learn how to fight and defend myself and maybe an Aes Sedai or Asha’man.”

Affie chewed on her bottom lip as she looked around the room as if seeing it for the first time, slowly taking in the reality of the situation. “Still can’t believe it.” She shook her head, closing her eyes, suddenly tired. “Had to be tested. Don’t think channeling would’ve happened otherwise. Can learn, though.” Her eyes popped open and she glanced askance over at Zarayne. “Wise Ones tested you too?”

Zarayne nodded. "Yes, well, my mother did. She is a Wise One you see. There were other reasons for suspecting I may be able to channel, so I always believed it would be true. I didn't give her much of a choice when it came to apprenticing me. I strode in her shadow, watching and learning what she did without the One Power." Zarayne grinned. "'Wisdom doesn't come from the One Power, and the One Power doesn't give you wisdom'. A saying of my mother's."

The Aielwoman wrapped her arms around herself. There was no denial in her heart that she missed both her mother and her home. This place was too warm and too wet for her liking, not that her opinion was going to change her fate nor the weather. Making the best of her situation; that was the plan. Her sanctum that was this room was now intruded upon. Just make another adjustment. It didn't have to be all bad. Zarayne had friends back home, so she could also make friends here.

She wondered if similar thoughts were spinning around in Affie's head. Zarayne had heard of most of those places Affie had mentioned, but she wouldn't have been able to place them on a map. How far was the Altaran from home? It had to be one of the coastal nations, so not close was the obvious answer. Affie had a lead on making friends if she had been here for a while. That said, the green-eyed Aielwoman didn't want to risk chancing upon Ravak Darrow. The way Affie spoke of him stirred up confusion within her. Should I be happy or angry? Her heart lurched back and forth, indecision swelling up in her breast. Zarayne pushed herself up so that she ended up sitting on the edge of the bed. If she needed to dance, even if it was against her own inner doubts, she wanted to be prepared.

She needed a distraction.

"Why would you, um, did you--" she corrected, "--want to defend an Aes Sedai or Asha'man?" Wise Ones were never a part of conflict, and Aes Sedai were meant to be the Wise Ones of the wetlands. She couldn't grasp how one set of women would be protected by all, whereas others needed specific individuals to ensure their safety. Zarayne gave the room a cautious glance. "Are we in need of protection too?"

A fleeting, faint smile appeared on her face. “Wanted to defend an Aes Sedai or Asha’man because... well, can do great things with the Power, but seems... lonely. Don’t see very many Aes Sedai or Asha’man smiling or laughing. Know what it’s like to feel alone... to be alone. Liked the idea of belonging with someone. Not... not like a possession, but... like...” Affie fumbled for words, not entirely sure how to explain it. “Like a friend. But more than.” Never had very many friends... more people nearby meant more competition for food and warm dry places to sleep. Wasn’t like that here. “Liked the idea of solving things together, going to see places together, making stories together.”

Dark, solemn eyes regarded her roommate as Affie lifted her thumb to her mouth, chewing on her nail. Didn’t feel danger... didn’t feel so scared or uneasy either anymore. But Zarayne’s second question couldn’t be ignored and no amount of thinking yielded a satisfactory answer. The small Altaran finally shrugged uncertainly.

“Don’t know if we need protecting,” she answered honestly. “Maybe need protecting from ourselves. Heard that the Power can be dangerous. Can do wonderful things but also can do very bad things. No Aes Sedai or Asha’man or Dedicated or Accepted would actually hurt us... want us to pass all the tests, after all...” Here she hesitated. “But... maybe being alone is not so good, so assigned roommates. Maybe having someone else there... helps? Maybe can help protect each other?”

Not that Affie thought that Zarayne needed protection... especially not from her. Was so much smaller. Was pretty sure the tall Aiel could reach out and grab arms, fold in half, and stuff into the closet without breaking a sweat.

“Sorry,” the dark-skinned Novice spoke quickly, flushing. “Not saying need protection... just thinking out loud.” Then again, had protected Nate from that other Dedicated. Had felt good. Had kind of saved Alric’s life. Also had felt good. Affie’s chin lifted and deep brown eyes met green. “But would protect you if needed,” she declared firmly, scrambling to her feet, standing as straight as she could. After all, Warders and Gaidin didn’t run. Was a Novice now, but didn’t matter.