Every action has an equal, opposite reaction... [attn: Marla~]

[Elan]

In which Jaren pretends to be a responsible adult

It was with a deeply surreal sense of detachment that Jaren noted the slight trembling of Jaryd’s hand when their fingers entwined. Jaryd had beautiful hands; he’d thought that before, hadn’t he? Well, it was true. Despite the scarring… There was a corny metaphor to be made there if he could only grasp it. Letting the half-formed thought go, he squeezed the scarred hand gently as Jaryd spoke again.

And as he listened, a calm determination of sorts settled over him. Because Jaryd was right; there might be ways to evade, to avoid getting caught while doing whatever they pleased. But… the wrath of the Amyrlin was not the only potential consequence, maybe not even the worst that could happen. Training casualties were not common — there was a reason the Grey Tower did not force its students to reach their potential as quickly as possible — but if the worst happened and he was… involved… with Jaryd?

No, that couldn’t happen. Sure, Jaren had no intention of suddenly dropping dead in a training accident, but in the end anything could happen, and if it did? It would only hurt Jaryd more if they were to become any closer… Jaren looked down at their joined hands. Well, it was too late to pretend there was no attachment as it was, to pretend the attraction was purely physical. Far, far too late.

“Therefore… Wait you must, but you won't wait alone.”

Jaren looked up, meeting Jaryd’s eyes… and smiled. Not with the intention to distract from the gravity of the topic at hand, but simply… Never stop smiling. “I shall do my best to make the wait no longer than it needs to be.” No more foolishness, no getting in any more trouble. He could do that, surely?

[Sunny]

Every lock has a key

Jaryd did not feel like an Asha’man who had led the Tower not once, but twice. He did not feel like a Red who had fought and defeated three Dreadlords in a world that believed the last such had died in the Trolloc Wars, either. He felt…the Altaran took a breath, his fingers tightening around Jaren’s. I feel free. That was a strange way to feel after pledging to wait the Creator only knew how long for something that, given the amount of time involved, might not even exist. I want it to exist, and I am willing to wait.

“I shall do my best to make the wait no longer than it needs to be,” the Andoran said, and his smile cut through every remaining objection Jaryd’s mind had to the oblique promise he had given. We want it to exist, and we are willing to wait, his mind corrected itself helpfully, and he felt his heart skip a beat.

“I have watched how you approach a challenging problem many times before,” The Altaran said once he had regained control of his senses. He returned the smile with one of his own, dark eyes warm and dancing with mirth. “I have no doubt you will overcome this one as well. When you have- after you claim your Ajah and the dust has settled…” He pulled his hand free and dug in his pocket, retrieving a small cast iron key. He looked it over thoughtfully, then pressed the bit of metal into the younger man’s palm. “...This will get you past my Wards,” he said softly. “Any of my Wards. Keep it somewhere safe, please.”

[Elan]

Jaren

Jaren could have pointed out that this was not so much a challenging problem as simply a matter of perseverance, but the thought was fleeting and utterly irrelevant next to Jaryd’s smile or the warmth in his eyes. Jaren felt a twinge of loss when he thought about how they’d inevitably have to conclude the meeting soon, all too soon, and then it would be a long time before they could sit like this again, comfortable in each other’s presence…

When Jaryd pulled his hand free, Jaren was sure the moment was over… but instead of getting up, Jaryd produced a small key from his pocket. “…This will get you past my Wards. Any of my Wards. Keep it somewhere safe, please.”

Jaren stared wide-eyed at the key now in his hand. He wasn’t often struck completely speechless, but this might have just done it. After you claim your Ajah and the dust has settled… Jaryd’s words echoed in his mind. This will get you past my Wards. This was a gesture of such faith, Jaren had trouble wrapping his mind around it. Was he actually worth it..?

He would have to be. No, that wasn’t quite right; he wanted to be, and therefore he would be. He wouldn’t accept any other option. He looked up again, closing his fingers around the key, and nodded solemnly. “I will,” he said. He wanted to follow up with something profound — or failing that, even just witty — but for once in his life he had nothing. He gave a slightly breathless chuckle. “Jaryd, I— don’t know what to say. I am… honoured, and I will strive to be worth your trust.” I will not fail you again. The memory of the Arches surfaced, uninvited, but he banished it forcefully; this was neither the time nor the place to be thinking about that. Not when the real Jaryd was right there, dazzling and warm and alive.

[Sunny]

Jaryd

Jaryd studied Jaren’s face as the younger man stared at the ter’angreal in his palm, keenly aware of how long it would be before he would be so close again. Despite Jaren's obvious surprise the Red could not make himself regret his gift. It had been given spontaneously, but wholeheartedly, and the strange freedom he felt would not be quelled by anxiety. Thus he simply watched and waited, and resisted the ongoing urge to toss the metaphoric rulebook in the theoretic flames, do what he knew they both wanted, and damn the consequences.

Jaren himself interrupted that particular line of thought, much to the Red's mingled relief and frustration. “...I am honoured, and I will strive to be worth your trust." Something flickered in blue-gray eyes, a tension (or perhaps it was sadness?) that could not be explained by unspoken desires or frustration. It passed quickly, however, and Jaryd soon wondered if he had imagined it entirely.

“I held you in high regard long before the ball,” the Asha’man responded, “and my trust is less important than your training. All things considered, perhaps I will be the one who must work to prove myself to you in times to come.” His tone was light, nearly humorous, but his fingers tightened reflexively, silently betraying his true concern and his reluctance to let go. What if I cannot serve your best interests as I ought? The further this conversation went the more certain Jaryd became that Velanya would need to preside over the Dedicated's progress.

Unfortunately little excuse remained to stay as they were and thus it wasn’t long before the Asha’man pushed himself to his feet with a sigh. “I don’t know when we will get another opportunity to speak without interference,” he said. “Is there anything else important to you that we should talk about before we face the music?”

[Elan]

Jaren

Jaren stood up as well, not quite able to suppress a regretful sigh. As much as he might want to, they couldn’t stay cooped up in Jaryd’s office forever. They’d just… have to go about their lives as though nothing had happened, for now. There was not much more to it. Not if they wanted to avoid more trouble, which would mean more delays to Jaren getting raised to Asha’man, which was counterproductive in every possible way.

He smiled and shook his head slightly in response to Jaryd’s question. “While there are plenty of things I’d love to talk about with you,” he said softly, “none of that is urgent enough that I could rightly justify calling it 'important' right now.”

It did occur to him that Jaryd was practically giving him an opening to talk about the Arches if he wished to… and a part of him did, a part of him desperately wanted the reassurance of Jaryd — real, living Jaryd — telling him it hadn’t been real. But he didn’t want to to shatter the mood like that, not when everything was fine, after a fashion; sure, he would be up to his eyeballs in penance for the next year, but ultimately time would pass and the dust would settle. And once it does… The key reminded him — as if he needed a reminder — that he had something to look forward to. They both had; it was still a little surreal to think that Jaryd might want this as much as he did but he was not going to waste energy on doubts.

“I… suppose this is it for now,” he said, with a distinctly wistful smile. “Jaryd…” He spoke the name like a caress — it would be back to 'sir' and 'Asha’man' once he walked out of the room — and shook his head, his smile widening a fraction. “Light, I can be patient—” Was he attempting to convince himself or Jaryd? “—but I should probably stop tempting fate and just go before one of us breaks.” A slightly breathless, self-deprecating laugh. “Me, like as not.”

[Sunny]

Jaryd

This is it for now.

Jaren’s smile widened as if Jaryd had spoken his deepest desires aloud, and the thoughts he voiced after nearly caused the undoing of everything the two men had just spoken of. The Altaran’s mind raced for some way to rationalize what he was about to do, his fingers curling and uncurling at his sides. No one would intrude, no one would know. Jaren already knew what he wanted. What harm could one kiss do?

Ice blue eyes transcended time to flash at him in outraged disbelief, interrupting the Altaran’s inevitable surrender. What is the right thing to do, Jaryd? What do you really want?

The Red knew the answer to the first question, even if it was a terribly unpleasant prospect to consider. As for the second… Jaryd’s lips curved up in a crooked smile, his eyes lighting up. I want to spend my time making this man laugh. It was an oversimplification of much more complicated feelings that he didn’t know if he had the right to feel, but they were still there. No clandestine embrace was worth the risk of losing the opportunity to discover what it all meant.

Rather than continue to struggle with his recalcitrant thoughts, the Asha’man reluctantly reached for the Void. The familiar shroud cut through thoughts and emotions alike, leaving him alone and in shadow once more. Temptation and caring still existed, but he could examine them like a child might a toy rather than being consumed by them. He saw the shift in Jaren’s expression and realized the Dedicated had noticed the change. Am I that transparent to you?

“I am more than willing to wait for that which is worth waiting for,” Jaryd said with a tinge of humor as he turned away. He paused at the door until Jaren caught up with him. “But I cannot promise I will not seek you out to demand what is mine once you are raised.” His unabashed smile could not be contained as he opened the door.

“Don’t forget to report to the head of household this afternoon, Dedicated,” he said formally, for the benefit of any listeners. "I will be watching how you proceed quite carefully."

[Elan]

Jaren

For a dizzying, breathless moment Jaren thought Jaryd was going to kiss him— for a moment he thought he was going to kiss Jaryd— but then the moment passed. Some part of him was clear-headed enough to acknowledge that this was probably for the best, though he didn’t try to deny that he was also a little disappointed.

He noted the subtle changes in Jaryd’s expression, the distance of the Void settling in as though a window had been closed. But not coldness, no; there was nothing cold about Jaryd’s gaze as their eyes met again before Jaryd turned away. Jaren followed him to the door, trying to come up with something intelligent to say, when Jaryd spoke again.

“…But I cannot promise I will not seek you out to demand what is mine once you are raised.”

The smile that accompanied the words made Jaren’s cheeks heat up slightly, and it took a moment longer until the words themselves fully registered — at which point Jaryd was already speaking again, on the far less interesting matter of the penance. Jaren saluted smartly, though his face was probably still red and he couldn’t quite suppress a smile.

“Yes, Asha’man. Of course, Asha’man,” he replied, stumbling over the words a little, but he supposed that was appropriate enough if he’d just received the lecturing of a lifetime. What a farce, he thought as he turned away and the door closed between him and Jaryd. What a Light-damned mess… But he couldn’t be truly annoyed, not with Jaryd’s parting words echoing in his head; I cannot promise I will not seek you out to demand what is mine…

Yes, he definitely had something to look forward to.

[subtitle]- Fin -[/subtitle]