The Grey Tower

Athilin had finally arrived at the Grey Tower, happy to be here after such a long time traveling. There was only occassional times where she had had flare ups of her... talent, but none of it was bad. She had stopped in the Inn in Hama Valon and spent the night there so that she might be able to clean up, trim her hair, look presentable. Her meeting with the Mistress of Novices was a quick thing, she told her her story of discovering her talent, and she assigned a room with a roommate.

But her knowledge of the One power was limited at best. So she had been instructed to meet with an Aes Sedai of the Blue Ajah to learn the basics, and perhaps explore that would was limiting her. Her white skirts swished as she walked, shoulders back and a steady stride forward. It was a business lady's walk, something she had adopted from her mother as she was taught to run an inn. It helped to part the way while she walked through a crowd, and kept her on pace and on time. She stopped outside of the Aes Sedai's room and straightened her dress, brushing imagined lint off her shoulders, made sure her hair was in place before she knocked on the door, waiting to be bidden entry.

Her dark hair was pulled up into a high ponytail, and her face was held in a smile but polite smile that she would show to customers. Her soldier's sword had been left in her room, strapped together underneath her mattress. Her hands were clasped in front of her, and she was ready to learn as much as she could with all the things this place could teach her. She just needed to get the block out of her way so know her own potential.

Liaran opened the door, already knowing who must be on the other side. It would be a novice called Athilin, one of the newest novices, and now one of her newest students. She gave the girl a pleasant smile as she invited her in. "Come inside, child," she instructed the girl, and shut the door carefully behind them once the novice entered. "You must be novice Athilin, and I am Liaran Sedai. If you'll follow me, please?" She turned, bare feet padding across the tiled floor as she led the way to her study.

She never bothered to dress formally just for teaching, so she'd ignored shoes entirely and wore a comfortable blouse and trousers of sky blue silk. The fabric rustled with her movements as Liaran opened the study door and indicated that Athilin should enter with a flick of her hand. Letting the door close on its own, Liaran moved past the writing desk with its stacks of neatly organized folders to the upholstered blue armchairs positioned on either side of one of the bookshelves. She pulled each chair out, moving them so that they were facing each other but weren't too close.

"You may take a seat, child," she said, seating herself in the opposite chair. Once they were both sitting, Liaran studied the girl, looking into brown eyes not quite as dark as her own. "Before we start, I'd like you to tell me what you know about the One Power. You might know little to nothing of it, and that is fine; don't be afraid to tell me if that is so. I ask only so that I won't waste your lesson time with anything you've already learned."

Athilin stepped inside and spread her skirts as she curtesied to the woman in front of her. She seemed to be dressed so... informally. But she didn't know much about the Tower and their customs yet, so perhaps she was truly dressed as she should be. "Of course Liaran Sedai." Her voice was soft, and she followed behind her, her shoes making significantly more noise then the woman's bare feet did. It was clear that the room she was lead to was very similar to her parent's study that she had spent time in learning how to run an inn. She watched the woman pull the chairs around to face each other, and she tilted her head again.

She sat down across from the Aes Sedai, legs together, slightly tilted and ankles crossed. She folded her hands in her lap, sat up straight and kept that small but pleasent smile on her face. "I must be honest Liaran Sedai but I do not know much about the One Power. I only know that I have occassionally been able to weild it in different ways but never in a way that has thus far been beneficial to me or those around me." She replied. "I only know of the One Power because I come from the White Tower Inn in Ravinda in Kandor. My parents named it in honour of the Aes Sedai that came through the town and helped us years before. They told me a little bit of what it was that Aes Sedai did, but even they did not know exactly what it was the Aes Sedai did, so I know very little. But I look forward to learning more, and hope that I can be an apt student."

Liaran withdrew her hands mostly into her sleeves, folding them in her lap, eyes on the novice as she listened to Athilin speak. Many girls were like her, here with little more knowledge of the One Power than that it existed. That did not matter, since she would learn, but the novice's assertion that she had channeled before was more troubling. Though that might be a problem later, Liaran did not say anything to the novice about it. Instead, she filed the information away in her memory against any future need of it, giving the novice a brief nod.

"Many people don't know much about the One Power," she reassured the girl with a faint smile. "I will start by telling you what you need to know before attempting to touch it." Looking into Athilin's eyes, Liaran began her explanation. "The One Power is the force that drives all of creation and turns the Wheel of Time. It is composed of two equal halves: saidin, which can only be used by men, and saidar, which can only be used by women. "

She pushed a few stray strands of her hair out of her eyes before continuing, "There are five different elements that make up both: Air, Fire, Water, Spirit and Earth. As you learn, you will find that some of these will be easier for you to use than others. Most often, women are stronger in Air and Water, men in Fire and Earth, and both in Spirit, but there are always exceptions; for example, my own greatest strength is in Fire."

She took a breath, then went on. "To access saidar, one must surrender to it, allowing it to consume you. Only after this will you be able to control it. That sounds difficult, and it is; it may be weeks before you have success, and that is normal for any woman who is learning."

The smile disappeared from her face then, any traces of friendliness gone. "Now. Before you begin, what you must understand is that in a sense, saidar is addictive. That is not to say that we need it, but that the more often you hold it, the more you will want to, and to draw larger and larger amounts. This is something you must learn to resist, and is the reason novices are not to channel unsupervised."

Liaran's voice dropped lower, and she leaned forward in her chair, needing to be sure that Athilin heard her next words. "Any novice who channels without someone more experienced watching risks drawing too much, whether or not she intends to. If she does, the stress of it can kill her. If not, it is almost certain that she will burn the ability out of herself, and there is nothing that can be done for her. Most who suffer this don't live more than a few years afterwards, and they long for the Power with every breath until their last."

She pushed herself back in her chair, resuming her normal, kinder expression. The warning had to be given, but Liaran could never say she enjoyed doing so. "Do you have any questions before we begin?"

Athilin's smile faded and she let her face fall into polite lines of listening and paying attention as the woman started to tell her how the One Power worked. Her head tilted to the side a little bit as she was told more about the side thta she would be able to wield it. Her eyesbrows pulled down into a frown as she was told that she must surrender to it to be able to access it. Letting go of her own control, letting whatever it was that was welling up inside of her was what had triggered every other instance of her ability to touch saidar and that had resulted in poor experiences almost every time.

The warning was something she was sure everyone was told, but the idea that this would be something so addictive that it would be dangerous to use too much made her nervous. "Not about the basics Liaran Sedai.... That all seems very... simple at the most basic form. I am sure that it will become more complicated as I learn more. But I wonder at... If it is addictive, why would one want to use it at all? It sounds like this would be something that we would want to... limit if not completely disuade people from using." She kept her hands folded in her lap, but her fingers were twisting around. She had seen what addictions would do to people, so it made her nervous that this was even going to be a consideration or possibility.

Liaran shook her head. "While saidar can be called addicting, the danger is almost exclusively limited to those who are just starting to channel and are still learning self-control. If you attend your classes and obey the instructions you're given, you will learn to control what you can do and will be quite safe. With time, you will become used to resisting the pull of saidar when you must. It may not always be easy, but it is something that can be learned."

The Aes Sedai leaned forward in her chair. "And as for why we would use it? I could tell you, but it might be easier if I show you." Liaran pulled her right hand out of her sleeve, extending it palm up into the space between them. Embracing saidar, she pulled a few strands of Fire, weaving them into a tiny flame that hovered over the palm of her outstretched hand.

She smiled and said, "This flame isn't impressive by itself, but can you imagine what it would look like if I used it to light a fireplace, or perhaps a lamp? If I were traveling, and needed a fire for cooking? Can you see how the One Power could be useful?"

Liaran let the flame flicker for a moment or two longer before making another suggestion."Let's pretend that this small fire is a burning building. It could take time to get enough water to put it out." The threads she used were Water this time, twisted together, and it looked as if the water she poured on the flame was coming out of the air. "It would take much more effort on a larger fire, of course."

She withdrew her hand, placing it back in her lap and inside its sleeve, and let saidar go. "But that is just one way that the One Power can be used to do good. There are plenty of others; the Yellows, for example, practice its use for Healing, the Greens wield it as a weapon against Shadowspawn. I could spend our entire lesson time describing what we can do, but instead I will tell you this: I believe that the ability to channel is a gift, one that very few have, and that I am obligated to use it to benefit the world. Someone else might give a different answer to why we use it, but that is mine."

After giving the girl some time to think, she said, "I think you'll have a better understanding of why it is that we channel once you've successfully touched saidar for the first time. Are you ready to try it?"

Athilin nodded along with what she was saying. It made sense to her, after all new knowledge was exciting and addictive. But with time and moderation it could only be seen as a good thing. She watched the fire that appeared over the woman's hand only to be doused with water conjured from thin air. She wanted to reach out and touch but knew that it would probably just as hot as real fire given that it was displaying light just like a real flame would. "It seems that the One Power is useful to make life easier... And safer for those around us if used with proper training and moderation."

Athilin nodded again, before she sat up straighter, breathed deep and sighed softly. "I rather like your answer Liaran Sedai. I think it will match my own. I like to help people. And I am ready to try." She smiled, before she laced her fingers together on her lap, palms facing upwards. Her heart was racing, afraid to do something worse then merely setting a chair on fire like she had at home... or flooding a field with water from a river like she had at the farm. Though honestly that had worked out pretty well all things considered... Her face stayed steady, locked behind her slightly emotionless serene face. Her grip on her emotions had to remain there... she couldn't hurt anyone else...

The Aes Sedai smiled and said, "Then close your eyes and follow my directions." Once Athilin had obeyed, Liaran began to speak. "I want you to think of a flower bud, any sort of flower you want," she said softly. "Study it closely; look at the stem, the leaves, the color and shape of the closed petals. See how it sways in the breeze, smell the scent carried on the wind."

While the novice's eyes were closed, Liaran's were not. She leaned forward in her chair, observing Athilin with watchful eyes as she continued. "Think of all the little details of your blossom, and draw closer to it. Nothing separates you from it."

The novice appeared to be doing well with the exercise, and Liaran kept on in the same voice. "Now, imagine that you have become the flower. It is part of you and you are part of it. Notice the light shining outside of you, its warmth on your petals and let them open in response to that light. Allow it to flow into yourself. You are the flower, opening to the light..."

She continued on in the soft monotone, studying the novice the whole time with sharp focus, awaiting either the silver glow that would signal Athilin's success, or indication from the novice that she had not managed it on this first attempt, as was so common with new channelers.

Athilin's eyes closed, and her world descended into darkness. There was the soft buzz of static that was always there, that was soon consumed by Liaran talking. She let her words sway her thoughts, visualizing a dandielion, the first flower he had ever given her. It was green with yellow at the tip, with green leaves and a fuzzy stem. It was planted in a field, everything green and flourishing around it. Expect for this one particular flower. Her eyes flickered underneath her eyelids, and her lips pulled down into a frown.

Her flower had a pall of black over it, shielding it from the sun that would open it. Lianran's voice continuied to try and sway her flower to open, and Athilin did her best to try and get it to open but it just wasn't having it. And once she heard "imagine that you have become the flower..." her mind was filled sadness, closed off from the flowers around her. She didn't know it, but tears started to slide down her cheeks, her hands gripped together knuckles white. Her eyes opened, but she didn't see the woman in front of her. She saw a blurry faced man in front of her, holding out that bouquet of dandielions. Te amo, tu erunt? His words didn't make sense, his voice was distorted. She released her hands and gripped the chair before her vision cleared, and she was staring wide eyed at the Aes Sedai.

Her voice was unsteady, and her hands were shaking. She wiped her tears from her face, looking at them in confusion. "I do not suppose that it is normal to see an image that is not the flower when doing this?"

As Athilin appeared to settle into the necessary concentration, Liaran let her voice fall to a whisper before fading entirely. If the girl was as focused on the imagined flower as she should be, she would not really hear the words anymore, and they would only be a potential distraction. The room around them was completely silent, and the Aes Sedai sat with a straight back in her chair, eyes locked on Athilin. If the novice's attention was consumed by what she imagined, Liaran's attention was entirely given to her. This part of these introductory lessons required nothing else from her than careful observation, and that was what Liaran did.

She stayed motionless, hardly daring to blink, allowing herself no distraction from her task. Athilin seemed to be making a good effort to follow Liaran's instructions, and for a while, all Liaran could do was wait and watch the novice. She believed the lesson was going well until her sharp eyes noticed the shine on Athilin's cheeks. Crying wasn't unheard of the first time a novice reached saidar, but Athilin hadn't; she would have noticed that. Liaran let herself blink once, seeing then that the girl was definitely in tears, her hands tightly clasped together.

"Athilin," she said gently, "It is all right if you couldn't reach saidar. Most girls don't on the first try." If the child heard her, Liaran couldn't tell, and she suspected that whatever Athilin was thinking had nothing to do with the image she'd been told to picture. The Aes Sedai stood up and headed for the door to give her some privacy, not at all comfortable continuing to sit in her place, staring at a crying novice. She had her hand on the doorknob when she heard Athilin speaking to her.

Liaran turned, looking into the wide brown eyes, and went back to her chair. "No," she said once she was seated. "If you are trying to focus on the flower blossom, you should not be thinking of anything else. You must shut out all other thoughts. That can be difficult at first." She tilted her head, studying the girl. She could still see the faint traces of tears on Athilin's cheeks, and she wasn't sure the girl was ready for another attempt yet.

"Athilin," she said softly," is there something you need to talk about before we go on?" Liaran had no particular desire to pry into the novice's personal problems, but if she was distracted during lessons, that was also a problem for Liaran. Likely it would be nothing more than the general demands of life as a novice, something the girl would have to learn to deal with. Whatever it was, Athilin would either need to address it or try to improve her concentration before Liaran would continue with her lesson.