The Grey Tower

Being alone was one of the few things that Johan had come to enjoy since coming to the Tower. He had never thought that such a thing would ever happen, but here it was. He had come to relish those moments where he could drop the act and just be himself, where he didn’t have to worry about how he came across. There was a certain way students had to act, and it wasn’t him. He didn’t like the formalities, the restrictions, and the expectations. There were so many expectations.

Usually, he left the Tower completely and went to Hama Valon, where he let himself just get lost in the streets. Whilst Hama Valon was nothing like home, it was still a city, and the vibrancy, the crowds, the stalls, and the buildings were oddly comforting. He missed the Rahad a lot; missed its familiarity. But ever since that incident in the snow with Kaira, where he’d ended up half dead – more than! -, he hadn’t been able to bring himself to go there, paranoid that he would get caught. People had to have discovered what had happened in the inn by now, and he was sure that it was only a matter of time before it found its way back to them. The Grey Tower was, right now, the safest place to be.

The gardens were as different as you could get to the Rahad, but there was still a certain level of comfort to them. “Peace” was probably the word he was looking for. He had no direction or aim in mind, but simply ambled along the paths.

…That was until he heard the cry.

Johan looked up, frowning, and immediately rushed forward, making his way towards the sound. It didn’t take him long to stumble across the Novice. Literally. He stopped only inches away, catching himself just in time to stop himself from tripping over her.

“Are you all right?”

It was stupid thing to say, but then it was the only thing he could say.

I don’t know. Maybe you decided to lie down and take a nap. It’s a lovely day to sunbathe, after all! The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he managed to stop himself from saying them. Quite clearly she was in pain, and pain made people snap, made them angry, made them say things that they probably shouldn’t. It therefore wouldn’t be right for him to bite back, no matter how tempting it was.

Instead, Johan ignored her words and simply knelt down beside her, examining the situation in front of him. Her foot was indeed caught by a root. The best thing to do was to probably go and fetch an Aes Sedai and Asha’man, but he didn’t know how long that would take, and he couldn’t just leave as she currently was.

“Hold still,” he said as reached for the knife he thankfully had with him and began to cut away at the root. He didn’t want to actually touch her ankle in case he caused even more damage. It didn’t take much for him to cut the root away to leave the ankle free.

He sat back when it was finished. “Do you think you can move it?”

Johan reached out to steady her as she caught herself on his shoulder. The words ‘Are you…?’ again formed themselves, but he stopped himself before he could give them a voice, the memory of her reaction to the last time still very much fresh in his mind. Besides, it was clear that she wasn’t okay, otherwise she wouldn’t be grabbing his shoulder, and that her ankle was hurt rather badly.

For a moment, he wondered if he should tell her to sit back down and wait whilst he went to fetch a Yellow, because he didn’t want to cause any more damage by making her move her ankle when it probably needed to be kept still, but he didn’t think, from their brief meeting, that she would go for that. Well, tough, she’d have to. The walk to the infirmary was far too long.

There was a bench close by, and he nodded towards it. “D’you think you can make it over there if you lean on me?”

He hadn't taken his hands from her waist.

He didn’t move to join her, but remained standing, unsure of what to do. He couldn’t help but be impressed that he was actually managing to stay still despite the fact that he was panicking more than a little inside. A few months ago, before he’d become Ji’val, he wouldn’t have been able to hide his feelings. He’d have been practically racing around in his panic. Actually, he’d probably have fainted. Instead, he took a calm breath and returned the smile.

“I’m Johan. Johan Albaer,” he said, even as he continued to wonder whether he should go and fetch a Yellow. He didn’t want to just leave her, because it wouldn’t feel right. It felt, in fact, like the wrong thing to do – you didn’t just abandon someone -, but she really did need to get the ankle treated. He spared a glance behind him, but there didn’t seem to be anyone else in the gardens.

His eyes flicked back. “I should go and fetch a Yellow…”

He’d let her decide on that. If she said ‘yes’, he wouldn’t have to feel bad about leaving, and if she said ‘no’… well, he’d stay.

Smiling in what he hoped was a reassuring manner, Johan sketched a bow before he turned and immediately headed towards the infirmary, his steps quick. He would never admit it, but there was a certain relief to knowing that he could soon hand this all over to some Yellow to deal with. It wouldn’t be his problem anymore. There would be no more having to worry about being completely out of his depth... again. He spent half his time at the Tower worrying; he didn’t need to during his free time.

His pace quickened.

As soon as he reached the infirmary, he grabbed the first Aes Sedai he came across, explaining the situation to her as swiftly as he could. He was fairly certain she hadn’t understood most of what he had said, his accent becoming thicker in his urgency.

That should have been in it, should have meant that he could go on his merry way, but he hadn’t thought about the fact that he would have to show the Aes Sedai where he had left Andraste. He did so, walking as quickly as he could, somewhat surprised that the Aes Sedai managed to keep up. It didn’t take half as long as he had thought to return to the bench.

The Aes Sedai didn’t hesitate, but set to work as soon as she saw her patient, and Johan hovered awkwardly in the background, not sure whether he had permission to dismiss himself. He didn’t say anything, of course, because what was there to say?