The Grey Tower

Riven Trimak

Amayani do Ciresh a'Sorene It had been a long and boring day, filled with a ton of paperwork that only seemed to grow on her desk. She'd thought the paper load big when she was the Gaidar Captain, but that had been nothing compared to what found its way to the Mistress of Arms' desk. It was enough to give her headache long before sunset, a headache that didn't lessen as she worked on in the light of candles.

Her body ached along with her head as she called it a day shortly after sunset, ached from sitting bent over her desk for hours. The only breaks she'd had that evening was when a Gaidin or a Ji disturbed her with this or that, a disruption she was strangely thankful for, if only to get a chance to stretch her neck and arms. She was not made for this much sitting still, hadn't even done it back home, studying nobles and history under tutelage of her mother all those years ago, before coming to the Tower. She made a mental note to spend more time out in the Yards the next day, to keep her body moving, and let paperwork be paperwork.

Yani made her way down the stairs to the Barracks and through the hallways to her room, the same room she'd had since she was raised. At days like today, that felt as if it'd happened long ago, and not just a few years. Strange how much had happened over such a short time, not just in her own life with being raised first to Gaidar Captain within a year of being raised to Gaidar, and then to Mistress of Arms barely a year after that again. She still didn't agree that she was the right person for the position, but it was hers and she'd be damned if she'd do any less than her best.

Still, the badge offered big shoes to fill. Sinking down on her bed, she started reminiscing about the Masters of Arms before her. Poor Kiefer, who's shoes she most recently filled, and other great men before him. Caithlan Damodred, Dwillon, and Caden Ives, the legendary Freak of the Yards, who had been Master of Arms when she'd first arrived. She remembered being terrified of the man.

A soft knock on the door drew her out of her reminisce, and she lifted her body heavily from the bed as she called wearily for the person to enter. Light blast them if it was a trainee or anyone coming with yet another problem for her to solve.

"Riven." Surprise shone in her eyes as she recognized the person who entered her small room, and it took a moment for her to recollect herself.

"M'hael," she corrected herself, and bowed respectfully to the old Asha'man. "How may I be of service?" Her voice and demeanour showed the respect the M'hael deserved, but a part of her mind wondered what in the Light her old mentor of the Sword did in her room, while another, strange part worried if her room was presentable, spotless as it was, and that her room was not the right place for the M'hael to be. That last part was mostly ignored and pushed aside as childish.

Riven Trimak

Amayani do Ciresh a'Sorene Yani gave a nod of acceptance to Riven's soft scolding. He spoke true, and not just because he was bound to do so. But it was still strange, and new, to her, this badge she carried, this duty and responsibility. And even with the M'hael's blessing, she still did not feel like the right person to hold such a position. She was far too young, far too inexperienced. But her old mentor, the M'hael himself, the man now standing in front of her, believed in her. And she would not let him down, not let the Warder Yards down. The people inhabiting this Hall, the trainees and the fully raised Gaidin were all her responsibility now. The burden was heavy on her shoulders, and yet her back was straight.

"Yes, M'hael," she said, meeting his eyes this time. "I still believe that a more experienced Gaidin should hold this position instead of me, as I've told you before. But it is entrusted upon me, and the Gaidin and trainees are my charges, my responsibility, my duty. I am honored that you believe in me, M'hael." She had told him this before, when he had promoted her after the death of Kiefer Sache, the former Master of Arms.

She smiled as he insisted she'd call him Riven. "Riven, then, " she replied softly. It also felt strange, in a good way, to hear him use her shortened name. Not many did nowadays, not since she'd been raised to Gaidar Captain, and even fewer still now that she was the Mistress of Arms.

Her interest was piqued when he began to mention the reason for his visit. Both personal and professional? She was about to ask when she too picked up the faint sounds of footsteps, and Riven stepped fully into the small room, closing the door behind him. Yani scolded herself for not inviting him in, for not thinking of it before it was too late, but there was nothing to do about that now.

"Please, have a seat," she said and indicated towards the chair that stood near the door, near Riven. She could at least offer him a comfortable seating. That chair was one of the few addition she'd added to the room in the few years she'd had it. Otherwise the room looked pretty much like it had when she'd received it upon gaining fancloak.

She waited a moment to see if he took up the offer of a seat, and looked quickly at the only other chair in the room, her desk chair. Her eyes fell on the stack of papers on the desk, and she sighed softly. So that was where they had ended up. She couldn't even remember bringing them down a few days ago. Not wanting to think of work now, she sat back down on the bed and looked at Riven.

"So?" she started, curiosity shining in her eyes. "What did bring you here tonight?"

Riven Trimak

Seated on the edge of her own bed, Yani listened to the old Asha'man's words. Her face remained smooth as her mind worked, trying to not only catch the meaning of his words, but the meaning behind them as well. An Aes Sedai or Asha'man rarely said just what was coming out of their mouths, and the man seated across the room was no different. She knew that the M'hael, a former Blue, was well versed in the art of Daes Dae'mar, something she herself was not, even with her noble upbringing. Such things just hadn't interested her, but she had picked up some over the years living in the Grey Tower.

She wondered where Riven was going with his trail of conversation. The man was trying to be casual, though a little shift in the way he sat, and the fierceness in those grey eyes betrayed him even to her untrained eye. Or maybe that was intentional? Bloody Game.. She preferred the ways of the Yards to those of the Tower, where a person spoke his meaning and didn't try to weave a web of half-spoken words to bend the truth they had to say.

His words though… She felt a little uneasy under his stare, but she met those grey eyes without a shift as her mind processed the words. An inexperienced M'hael? She wouldn't exactly call the man in front of her inexperienced. Light only knew how many decades the man had lived. And she doubted that he would call himself inexperienced either. But those had been his words, "a capable, yet inexperienced M'hael", the oath making it the truth. That could only mean…?

She used a shift of position as an excuse to break eye contact for a moment, needing to reflect on his words away from his calculating eyes. He spoke of a new Amylin Seat, which could only mean that the Hall of Sitters had given up hope of Amora Sedai returning. And that Amyrlin Seat would be supported by a new M'hael? The way Riven spoke of the M'hael, his own position, as inexperienced, could only mean that the man intended to step down and leave the position to a new, younger Asha'man.

Yani met Riven's eyes again, itching for some more explanations, as the man spoke again. While his next words were flattering, she couldn't help but wonder what his intentions with them were. That smile didn't help either.

"I'm not sure how capable I am yet," she said, grasping at the most recent straw as she didn't know how to attack the rest of it yet, "but I thank you for those words."

"You must know, though, that I dislike the game of words you're all so fond of playing," she continued, a half-smile and her voice used to disarm the insult her words might be, "so why don't we both just say what we mean instead of weaving our ways around it?" She tried not to fidget where she sat, though she itched to move. The edge of her bed wasn't the most comfortable seat, she realized now, and she regretted a little not choosing the desk chair. There at least she could've leaned back against the chair's back. She resigned to crossing her ankles.

"So, if I understand you correctly, you've given up the search and hopes that she'll return, opening up for a new Amylin Seat." It was more of a statement than a question, and there wasn't much doubt which "she" she referred to. "And a new counterpart? Why?" What's wrong with you? she almost added, though she kept those words inside. And why tell me? She had a feeling that this wasn't something he'd discussed with many others, if any. So why her?

"And who is it you're thinking of, this advisor? There hasn't been a Warder-Channeler Representative since before I was raised to Gaidar Captain. Is there talk of a new one being appointed? I sure wouldn't mind the bridge." She wouldn't admit it out loud any more than she just did, but she did feel like a fish out of water when she met with the Hall of Sitters and the Amyrlin and M'hael. They had years, decades, more practice and experience than herself, and the world of channelers was one she still only barely understood parts of. How much help a Warder-Channeler Representative would be, she couldn't be sure, but it wouldn't hurt. Was that what Riven wanted with this meeting? Did he intend to take on that position himself?

Riven Trimak

Yani listened to Riven's words as the man spoke again. She wasn't sure how much guidance she had to give to the new Amyrlin and M'hael, whoever they might be. Doubtless they would both be far older and more experienced than herself. The years it took to train in the Tower was a lot more than the years it took to rise in ranks in the Yards. And yet it sounded as if her new counterparts in the Tower would be chosen from the newest to the shawl and cord, by Riven's words. Whatever the outcome of that, she would do her best to work with them, to work towards the building of tomorrow. Her head nodded slowly along Riven's voice.

She felt a slight blush creep past her defences and into her face at his praise. She had never known Sigmund, only heard of the man, but she had studied under the other two he mentioned, and respected them both greatly. To hear that the man in front of her, another she respected greatly, thought her a worthy successor of the Freak and the others… Well, she couldn't quite believe his words even though he could not speak a lie. She certainly didn't feel as if she had the right to be mentioned alongside the great men who had once held her position.

But regardless of how she felt, she was their successor, and she did work hard to live up to their legacy. It still baffled her at times that she was indeed the Mistress of Arms, and Gaidar Captain before that. She had never sought a position of power, never yearned for it. If she had, she probably wouldn't have left home in the first place and come here. Being the daughter of a Murandian lord, she would have been married into a position of power at some point, had that been her wish. Instead she'd left that life behind and travelled here, joined the ranks of the Warders and sworn her life to the protection of others, the Tower, the Yards, and someday an Aes Sedai or Asha'man. So far no channeler had asked of her service, but the Yards had, and the people of the Warder Yards were hers to protect to the best of her abilities. One way of protecting them was to teach them to protect themselves, teach them all she had learned from those before her, and more.

Her mind wandering, she'd only listened to Riven with one ear, and she had to backtrack the words in her mind when the man leaned forward. His words reflected her trail of thoughts strangely. Or was it her trail of thoughts that had been fuelled by the half-heard words? Regardless, she had a sneaking feeling of where he was going before he uttered the words.

"I would like to bond you."

So few, simple words, carrying a much heavier meaning. Her duty, the purpose she'd sworn to when she accepted the fancloak. It was what she'd trained for all those years, both physically and mentally. Strange how those words made her feel nervous now.

I would like to bond you.

And yet what he proposed was not quite what she expected. He didn't want to bond her for his own protection. He doesn't need my protection, a small part of her mind whispered sourly. No, his goal was bigger than his own hide, which didn't surprise her. The Riven she knew cared for those around him more than himself. It was why he made a great M'hael.

A smile crept into her face at his words, one that faded again as he looked away. She could see that his next words pained him to utter, though if that was in general or to her she wasn't sure.

"Riven," she said, seeking his eyes, her words soft and holding more caring warmth than she'd expected. She didn't know the details behind those words, but she had heard whispers, rumors of his former life under the Shadow, and his death at the hands of the Freak of the Yards. It was hard to believe, not only due to the fact that he sat in front of her, very much alive, but also that the man now sitting in her room could've belonged to the Shadow. He walked in the Light as much as she did, of that she was sure. And yet... rumors like that seldom came from nothing.

Whatever the truth behind them was, it was in the past. And a past Riven feared, however much he tried to hide it. She felt an urge to comfort him, though the right words failed her as usual, rendering her silent, and she averted her eyes as she struggled for words.

Taking a deep breath, she looked up and sought those piercing grey eyes. A smile lingered in the corner of her mouth. "It would be an honor to be bonded by you," she said a little slowly as not to rush out the words, and betray the nervousness cribbling in her stomach.

"Your reasoning is impeccable as always," she continued with a smile, words loosened up a little. "The benefits of the bond would be most welcome at times, indeed. And they would benefit the Yards, the Tower as a whole, and not just me.

"But, there's more to a bond than just the benefits. You say you don't want the bond for your own protection, but that is part of it. As a Gaidar, and especially as your Warder, I'm sworn to protect you with my life. Your protection would be my top priority, also in the light of ensuring the future of the Tower. If anything happened to you, I would be in no position to help the future." She knew well enough the fate of a Warder whose Ward died. Very few survived that fate, unless another channeler bonded them again. And even then something was broken in those Warders.

"And yet... if the need arises, I would protect both you and the future with our lives."