The Grey Tower

Torianin knew that she would be alone if she snuck out into the Gardens right before dawn, but still, she looked around, making sure that no one else was there. She needed to test herself. She knew that her nerves were getting better, but she also knew that they needed to be at the very least masked by the time she was tested for the shawl. She walked to the fountain where the sun was the brightest and embraced Saidar. The cool fall morning made her wear her cloak, banded just like her dress. Once she was sure that no one was there, she turned to the mountains in the horizon, the sun just barely peaking out over them.

The fire-haired Accepted always knew that her greatest test emotionally would be to face her past. It had been when she had gone through the First Arch, and after four years here, it was no different. She had kept the past at bay for all this time, but she wanted to know what she would do, or how she would react if she faced it again, so here she was. Closing her eyes, she steadied her breath and began to channel. She formed a mesh of Air and Fire exactly her height, then added knots of Spirit to the joints, making it as accurate as possible. She adjusted the shape and the Spirit as she went. Carefully, and throughout the figure, she added Water for color and Earth for texture. Focusing on the weaves, rather than what was taking shape in front of her, she made sure that the details were exactly as they should be.

She took a deep breath, and it caught when she saw her twin in front of her. Lumanin stood in front of her, her face now the perfect mirror image of Torianin's. She was pale with faint freckles, and her emerald eyes reflected a different kind of drive than she had herself. She still remembered the absolute authority and anger that she felt almost constantly though the a'dam. Her red hair was shorter than Torianin's, stopping at the shoulder. She was always trying to make Torianin look different than her. She had embraced that since coming to the Grey Tower, but not in the same way. Her hair was much longer now, but it wasn't frazzled as it had been. Lumanin's dress was the usual dress of the sul'dam: blue with red panels decorated with the iconic lightning strikes. The silver a'dam was around her wrist, and she held the collar in her other hand.

Torianin finished the breath, then faced the illusory Lumanin. She walked around her, sizing her up. She had always wanted to make excuses for her twin sister's sudden hatred of her. It was the training, she had decided early on, but that wasn't the whole of it. Some of that must have been from Lumanin. After all, they were not the only sul'dam and damane pair that had been sisters by blood, but Lumanin was known for her unusually harsh treatment of Torianin, who by any other accounts was a "good damane."

The Accepted filled her Illusion with Spirit, and Lumanin began to move with the guidance of strings of Spirit, like a puppet. Her shoulders hunched, her authoritative look turned into an outright scowl, and she held up the a'dam menacingly. Torianin held on to Saidar triumphantly almost. Now that she knew what she was doing, she knew that if someone was already channeling, shielding them was very difficult. Even if Lumanin was there with another damane, she would have a fight to get her back.

Her lip twitched when she saw someone sprinting up to her. She turned and realized that he was barreling toward her Illusion. He rushed right through it but caught himself and straightened up. He was a black-coated soldier with red hair. He turned back to her, and she saw a jagged scar on his face. He looked from Lumanin, still crouching, to Torianin. "That is a very convincing Illusion, Accepted."

"Oh," she said, realizing that he was trying to help her from a fake danger. She smiled. "Thank you, soldier. What are you doing out here before dawn?"

"Studying and channeling is all well and good, but I'd rather not let my body go to mush."

She nodded. She guided the Illusion to stand back up in her neutral stance. The soldier looked from her to the woman standing in front of her. "Is this you in another form?"

"No...this is my twin. My captor, before I came here."

"I can tell that this is not how she looked the last time you saw her."

Torianin blinked and looked up at the man. He was a few years older than her, probably. He moved like Warders and other warriors she had seen. He was acknowledging how far she had come. "No..." She drained the Spirit from Lumanin, making her a Static Illusion again, then reformed the mesh and changed the colors slightly. Now Lumanin lay in a heap, her dress and some of her skin grayed from the smoke that her lightning bolt had caused. "I did that to her," she said quietly. The soldier didn't say anything. "I did not ever want to be subject to the collar again. Even after all she did to me, she was my twin. I hope she did not die."

"My people believe that this life is a dream, and at death, we wake," the man said, making her look up at him.

"I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse," she said with a nervous laugh. "If she woke from the dream, that means that she would somehow see the truth of what she did. If she did not, that means that her dream is not finished, and perhaps she can change..." She sighed as she filled her illusory twin with Spirit again, guiding her to stand up, still damaged from the lightning strike. "I am reacting better than I thought I would," she admitted.

"She must have done harm to you."

"Yes...but I think I finally forgive her. That does not mean that what she did to me did not matter, or did not hurt, but I forgive her."

"First-sisters normally do." The soldier smiled as he nodded absently.

Torianin smiled back and dispelled her weave. The air shimmered, and Lumanin faded once more. She bid goodbye to the soldier and thanked him for his help, then headed back to her quarters.