The Grey Tower

Day One: The Arena

Kiellan cursed as he hurried along the hallway leading to the Channeling Yards. Everything that could possibly go wrong that morning had gone wrong. It had started when he woke up and wanted to wash himself. Kiellan wasn't used to washing himself every day. In fact, people had called him overly clean in the Rahad for washing himself once a week. In the Grey Tower, however, people washed daily, and he had been expected to do the same. This morning, however, there had been no water left, and it had taken him forever to convince the only Soldier around with any skill in Water to give him some more. Because of this, he had been late for breakfast, and had only managed to grab a single slice of bread. It was more than he usually got back home, but since arriving at the Tower, he had grown used to a healthy breakfast, and the hard work they made him do made sure he needed it. Because he was late for breakfast, one of the Aes Sedai had seen it fit to tell him off for it, and because of that, he was now late for his appointment with Valadin.

Finally, he arrived at the Yards. Valadin was already there, of course, waiting for him. He seemed to be lost in thought, but as soon as Kiellan entered the Yards, he spoke. Somehow, he must've sensed him coming. Kiellan was learning more about he One Power everyday, but some of the things people could do with it still amazed and confused him. Or perhaps he had simply been loud. As he reached the Dedicated, he stopped, catching his breath.

"Apologies, dedicated, I...", but Valadin interrupted him, turning around to face Kiellan. At least he didn't look mad. Punctuality was important in the Grey Tower, and while Valadin always seemed to be more forgiving than most, he still hated disappointing his teacher. Pushing that thought back, he started working on seizing Saidin. It now came to him much more easily than it had at first, except for the very first time, of course, but he still had to concentrate. He imagined the Void in his head, and with it, the Flame. He started pushing all his thoughts about his own tardiness, and the irritation about all that had gone wrong that morning into the Flame. Thought after thought fueled the red tongues in his own mind, and when the final hint of emotion was gone, he could see Saidin surround the Void, trying to break through. Bracing himself for he inevitable struggle that the Power always brought with it, he seized for it. The incredibly natural smell of the Yards, as well as the beauty of the complex around them, came rushing through him in full force, but he managed to maintain the calm of the Void. It took him a second, but he managed to surpress Saidin. "I have grasped Saidin, Dedicated."

Lesson One: Shielding

Saidin was still fighting, but so far, Kiellan had managed to subdue it. The struggle for control made him feel alive, made him forget everything about the Tower. It made him think of home. He knew how disastrous it would be if he lost that fight, only for a second, but somehow, the stakes only made it better. It made the challenge real, and he had always loved a challenge.

A sudden feeling of awe pulled him away from his thoughts. A cruel presence was nearby, a presence that he had come to recognize as someone else holding saidin. He looked at Valadin, and knew he was fighting the same fight that had occupied Kiellan moments ago, although it didn't take him as long, apparently.

Kiellan nodded at the other man's words. He knew that. He had heard stories in Ebou Dar of channelers who had turned to the Shadow. Some said they did this by choice, some said they were forced, but either way, the havoc they wreaked was terrible. As much as the Grey, White and Black towers tried to use the One Power for good, it could be used for evil as well. And now, with the recent confession by the White Tower that there was, in fact, a Black Ajah within their walls, things had only gotten worse. It was impossible to know now who was left to be trusted, and who was merely pretending. Kiellan wondered how that was in the Grey Tower. Was there a Black Ajah here as well? The thought scared him, but he didn't let it break his concentration, and he fed it to the Flame.

Val walked away from him, and Kiellan suddenly realized something horrible had happened. One moment, he had been holding the One Power, and the next moment, it was gone. Kiellan tried to seize it again, but all he found was a massive wall between him and saidin.He had felt this once before, during his very first lesson with Valadin, but then, he had known nothing about the One Power, hadn't even known how to seize it. Now, he panicked. He calmed a little bit at Val's words, but the feeling that he had lost something, that he had lost his very essence, didn't go away. The Flow of Spirit... yes, he had seen it, now that he thought of it. A single Flow, woven by Valadin, almost unrecognizable in its subtlety.

Kiellan did as he was told, and tried to feel the wall. He probed it, imagined running his hand over it, and understood what Valadin had meant. The wall was smooth, not rough as he had thought at first. Running his imaginary fingers over the wall, he tried to search for any kind of weakness, but could find none.

Giving up his struggle with the wall, he nodded at the Dedicated. He understood what Valadin was saying, but he didn't think he would ever be able to surrender. He never had, and he didn't think there would be anything worse than the shame in that. His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden feeling of joy, as the wall was lifted. Carefully, he tried reaching for the One Power, first pushing all his emotions and thoughts into the Flame.

The feeling of euphoria when he managed to seize saidin was so great, that it shattered the Void. With renewed effort, he found it again, and once more eliminated any semblance of feeling from his mind. The feeling of relief at having the One Power back struggled, but eventually, that too was gone. As he grasped saidin, he tried to pick out one small thread of Spirit. He wasn't strong with Spirit, and it took him some time to grasp one, and even than, it seemed slippery. Forcing himself to keep hold of the thread, he tried to smooth it, and weave it as he had seen Val do. Than, without hesitation, he pushed the Flow of Spirit between Valadin and the One Power. The slippery thread seemed reluctant, but it obeyed.

"Did it work? I tried, but I'm not sure if I did it."

According to Valadin, the Shield had worked, but it must not have been strong. Weaving the Flow of Spirit had been incredibly difficult, and Kiellan knew Val was right not to use it to overpower people. He shrugged. All the better. It was way too defensive for him anyway. He had always preferred being on the offense, even in the petty fistfights back home. He loved the rush of cornering your opponent, and the jolt of energy that came with it, and had always thought other would do the same if he ever showed weakness.

He felt Valadin probe his shield, just as he had done himself earlier, when the roles were reversed. Unlike earlier, however, he could feel Val actually pressuring his weaves, trying to find the weaknesses, and when he found one, he put pressure on it. Kiellan wasn't sure if he should try to strengthen his Shield or not, but he also knew that if it came to a battle of force, Val would easily overpower him.

He felt the backlash as his teacher burst through his shield, the ricocheted power of his own weaves numbing his mind for a moment. He stumbled backwards, struggling to maintain his balance, but he managed to succeed. Trying to regain some semblance of calm posture, he straightened his back, but his senses were still uncertain from the smack of Power he had felt earlier. He knew that, had it been an actual fight, Valadin would've been able to strike him down with ease, especially in this weakened state of dizziness. It only assured him never to try this weave in an actual fight that he couldn't easily win, although he also knew that it was a weave that he was supposed to know, just in case.

He tried to search his memory for an answer to Valadin's question. He had heard the term before, and he remembered where. It had been on the way from Ebou Dar to the Grey Tower, in one of his talks with Fares Asha'man. The conversation originally had been about the Shadow, and the military tactics it used. One of them was that it deployed dreadlords, channelers who had pledged themselves to the Shadow, in battle. Kiellan had asked how one could fight these dreadlords, and Fares had mentioned that other channelers could be used to Cut their weaves. It was supposed to be a way to neutralize what the dreadlords were attempting.

"I don't know much about it, Dedicated, but I have heard a little bit. Cutting Weaves are meant to split the weaves of another channeler, negating its effect. It is one of the most powerful defenses against others who use the One Power."

Kiellan thought he'd impressed Valadin, and smiled. "Thank you, Dedicated."

He always liked displaying the things he'd learned since leaving his home. Those were the moments that got him through the worst of it, the moments that reminded him it was worth it, sort of. Since his arrival at the Tower, he'd gone out of his way to talk with Aes Sedai and Asha'man, gathering as many scraps of their vast knowledge as he could. Some of them had not appreciated it, and had scolded him for not knowing his place, but many had also seemed refreshed by his genuine curiosity, and he had learnt a lot from them. Paying attention to Valadin's lessons, as well as the general lessons of the Accepted and Dedicated, had taught him even more. Kiellan sometimes had the feeling he was the only person in the Tower who was actually there to learn, with all the grunting and sighing by most other Soldiers and Novices.

The feeling of menace emanating from the man across him had never faded, but Kiellan only noticed it again when he saw Valadin deftly weave a spear of Fire, Earth and Spirit. He noticed how his teacher wove Fire and Earth together, bonding and fortifying the two with Spirit. Kiellan had quickly gotten better at observing other people's weaves, and trying to replicate them. He had had some trouble with that at the start, until a Dedicated had made him form different weaves for four hours straight. After that, it seemed he had gotten the hang of it.

He listened closely to what Valadin told him. The whole shape, but not a shape business confused him, but he would see. He nodded. Valadin let go of the weave. At the Dedicated's command, he seized a single weave of Fire. It had been the first weave he had been taught, and it was one of the few he knew for certain he would be able to produce on command. He didn't like taking the easy way out, but he would be mortified if he failed to produce anything. With that thought, he shaped and molded the weave of Fire, just as the Dedicated had taught him, just as Fares Asha'man had once done to test his aptitude with the One Power. He forced the weave to form a single, small flame, dancing from fingertip to fingertip. He made it grew a little, until a slow, steady flame was resting in the palm of his hand.

“Life is all about conflict. The pursuit of happiness—that’s life, not the achievement.”

Kiellan saw Valadin giving his flame a strange look. Weird. He hadn't thought it such an odd weave, but perhaps it was. He would have to remember that, so he would look up what it was. Pushing that thought out of his mind, he saw the same weaves Valadin had used before, a combination of Earth, Fire and Spirit, woven together to form a sort of spear. The flows of the One Power were intangible, of course, and could hardly be said to have a shape, but it felt like a spear nonetheless. And unlike the one Val had woven before, when he had simply showed how the weave worked, this one was sharp, and ready to be used. Its sharp tip seemed to taunt everyone who dared strike at its master, as if wanting to be used. Then, Valadin threw the spear.

It cleaved Kiellan's flame right down the middle. The backlash felt similar to what it had felt like when Valadin had broken through his Shield, and Kiellan wondered if he was here today as a student or a punching bag. Once more, he stumbled backwards, and his sight went black for a moment. It wasn't pain that he felt, not really. It was a feeling of total, utter disorientation, and he realized again that this would have been the end had they actually been in a fight. He regained his balance, and tried to imitate the serene, effortless look of the Dedicated in front of him. He didn't think it worked, but it couldn't look as stupid as the disorientation that still filled his mind. It was the first lesson he had learned in the Rahad, after his mother made him get into fighting: never show weakness. As always when he thought about that memory, he rushed his hand along his arm, feeling the scars that had been decorating his arm for almost a decade now.

He nodded at Valadin, as his teacher explained about the cutting. He had felt it, when Valadin had split his own weave. The spear made from the One Power had penetrated his own weave, he had felt it, right in the middle. As he listened, he felt the menace and awe emanating from the other man grow. He must've been planning to use saidin again.

Kiellan didn't trust the smile that suddenly formed on Val's face, and he definitely didn't trust the ball of fire dancing in his hand. The flame was much larger than Kiellan's had been, and its tongues seemed to laugh at him, ready to devour him if given the chance. He could also see the Flow of Fire that Valadin had woven to create it. The weave was definitely stronger than what Kiellan could manage, of course. The Dedicated had been at the Grey Tower for much longer than him, and so was still a lot stronger in the One Power. Although it was hard to estimate his own strength, or what it would become, Kiellan thought his own potential with Fire might be greater than Valadin's. For now, though, he knew that his teacher wouldn't need to break a sweat to beat him.

On Valadin's order, Kiellan tried to form the weave needed to cut Val's Fire weave. The Void in his mind had been shattered when his weave had been cut, but it didn't take him long anymore to find it again. In seconds, he felt the serenity and peace of the Void come over him, as always gleaming on the edges with the tempting light of saidin. As he seized it, the now familiar struggle came over him. The strange combination of being so close to the abyss, to madness and eventually, death, yet feeling more alive than he had ever had without the One Power, was no longer as alien to him. He grasped two Flows of Earth and Fire, coming as naturally to him as had they been tangible, and wove them together. The next part was harder, and it still took him a moment before he controlled the weave of Spirit, but he managed to do it. He strengthened his weave with it, leaving him with a spear much like Valadin's had been, although not as strong or sharp. He nodded at Val, signifying his readiness.

He had expected that he would have to cut Valadin's weave. He had expected the Dedicated to hold the flame, however, having Kiellan cut it from a distance. Instead, the Dedicated proceeded to hurl the flame right at him. For a second, Kiellan panicked, but then, instinct took over. He took only a fraction of a second to take aim, and then, he threw his spear. Aiming with the One Power wasn't the same as aiming a real spear. You had to imagine the spear landing at the place you wanted it to, guiding it with your will. When someone had first explained that to Kiellan, it had seemed much easier to him than aiming a real weapon, but he had soon found himself mistaken. He had taken his time to work on it, though, and had tried to hone his will as one would a weapon. Although he still had a long way to go, that extra work seemed to pay off now. The spear didn't cleave Valadin's weave of Fire as cleanly as his teacher had his, but it seemed to do the trick. The weave split, and after a second, it disappeared completely.

Not realizing he had been holding his breath through the whole ordeal, Kiellan slowly exhaled. "Blood and bloody ashes! Couldn't you have used another method? Or at least something that wouldn't have bloody killed me?" He was a little surprised at his own outburst, but he was genuinely shocked that Valadin had thrown a fireball at him. "I mean... I apologize, Dedicated, but was it necessary to throw of ball of death at me?"