All Work and No Play [Attn: Natlya/Bella]

[Roan]

Paks Liard

Paks took the bottle as she matched Nat’s pace as she took a long pull herself. She cast her drinking companion a sidelong glance as they continued their slow pace. Her usual smirk was much more subdued in that moment, though her internal thoughts were anything but as two sides of her conscience fought back and forth over ways to help the Ji’val change her routine.

Once a rogue, always a rogue, right?

Yes, but she’s still mourning the loss of her partner.

What better way to get over such a loss?

I am a terrible person. Seriously.

What’s the worst that could happen?

You mean besides her running me through? She knows how to use pointy things.

You only live once?

Is she even my type?

Since when do you have a type?

You make a fair point.

So just do it already.

Paks wasn’t one to need liquid courage often, but for whatever reason, this was different, and thus she took yet another hard pull at the bottle before taking a half step in front of Nat and stopping both women in their tracks. Her smirk became her armor as reached up to slide a hand to the back of Natlya’s neck, and in the same motion let her lips find the other woman’s.

There had been no indication Natlya would even be open to such an advance. The side of Paks that talked her into this rash moment did not care. The other part of her, which usually didn’t care either, was cursing up a storm, and bracing for an anticipated slap. . .or worse.

[Bella]

Whatever Nat had been expecting from this moment, this...wasn't it. Or was it? Suddenly, she wasn't sure. Her brain somehow found a way to explode and become a void all at once as she felt lips pressed against hers. Her lips, which had not felt the press of another's since Morgan died...which admittedly wasn't that long ago, but it felt like an eternity. Her lips, which she had given no thought to ever feeling another's.

Her lips, which had felt the lips of those other than Morgan, but never before a woman. It wasn't something unheard of to her, but unknown.

In a thoroughly inappropriate way for a trainee of the Grey Tower, she froze entirely. In the first instant, it was simply shock. She had not anticipated this, although part of her somewhat had. After all, the Drin was remarkably open about such things, and they had been drinking, so perhaps it should not have been a shock. But it was...for more reasons than she'd have guess.

For those first moments, she just stood there. Then, for a long moment where she was entirely not in control of herself, she kissed her back.

Then that moment ended.

With a gasp, she pulled back. Her hazel eyes were wide as she stared at the other woman, her fingers touching her lips. She stumbled back a pair of steps. "I... I..." she stammered softly. "I'm sorry," she finally said. And in another un-trainee-like move, she turned and hurried back to the Tower; her thoughts in a maelstrom.

[Roan]

Paks Liard

The expected slap never came, and not only that but the Ji’Val returned the kiss in kind. . .at least for a time. Too soon, the kiss came to an end, and Natlya looked at Paks with shocked eyes before mumbling an apology and running back to the Tower.

“Natlya! Wait” Paks called out, and started to follow the Ji’Val. “Please, wait!” As she closed distance, she tried to figure out what she was going to say, and why she was actually chasing after the Ji’Val. It wasn’t like she wanted a serious relationship with Natlya. She didn’t want a serious relationship with anyone.

When she got close enough, Paks called out once again, “Natlya, I am sorry. I perhaps presumed too much, and overstepped my bounds.” Her steps faltered as she realized not only had she never had someone run away after Paks kissed them, but she’d certainly never apologized for kissing someone before.

The night was turning out to be filled with many firsts, but not pleasant firsts. Well, one pleasant first. . .Natlya’s a good kisser, Paks thought to herself.

“I was just trying to offer you a bit of distraction tonight, and I think perhaps I got ahead of myself,” Paks explained. “I’m sorry if I. . .made you uncomfortable.”

[Bella]

Natlya didn't want to stop. She wanted to keep running. This was not a conversation she expected to have, or wanted to have, but for some reason, the apology wrapped around her feet and mired them in bog that slowed her until she stopped. For several long moments, she stood, facing forward and staring at her escape route.

Her shoulders rose and fell with a heavy sigh, before she finally turned around and faced Paks. The redhead's face was full of uncertainty, and confusion.

"Please don't apologize," she said, just loud enough to be heard. "I'm not...offended, or upset. I mean, I guess I am, but not because of that... Well, not because of that for what it is. Or..." She let out an aggravated sound, running her hands roughly over her hair and tugging on her braided hair. "You surprised me. I didn't expect it, or maybe I did.

"There just hasn't been anyone else in my life that way since Morgan and I...years. Now, I don't know what I'm doing. That's not something I've thought about, or know how to think about." It was perhaps one of the most honest, least calculated speeches of her life.

[Roan]

Paks Liard

A full moon cast a silvery glow over everything, including Natlya as she heaved a sigh and turned to face the Drin. Paks listened as Nat tried to explain why she ran, and found herself feeling perhaps as confused as the Ji’Val before her. Emotional complexity was not something Paks was used to, and had long ago learned to avoid it by wearing her smirk and matching it with a confident swagger.

Paks had plenty of emotions, but she often shunted the more complex, or uncomfortable ones to depths unknown, and preferred to live in the moment. For the most part, her philosophy worked. Sometimes, though, it didn’t, and she had to deal with the consequences. Sometimes, she just opted to drown her sorrows, but tonight, she’d kind of done both: drown her sorrows and live in the moment. This time, though, she forced someone else along for the ride, and was left with the fall-out.

With a half-shrug, she replied, “Perhaps that’s ok. Perhaps you don’t need to think about it or know what you’re doing? Sometimes, you just need to let things happen tag along for the ride.” She ran a hand through her short cropped hair and gave another shrug, “At least. . .that’s been my motto. Not saying it’s always the smartest strategy, but you don’t need all the answers all the time.” Tentatively, she held the bottle out, “Tonight. . .I don’t care what happens tonight. If we part ways here, my feelings won’t be hurt. If we don’t, we don’t. I’d rather know you made the choice right for you. . .and the choice is yours.”

[Bella]

Natlya bit her bottom lip and worried at it for a moment. What should she do? There was a part of her that wanted to stay. She didn't understand that part of her... Well, maybe she did. On some level. But that other part of her wanted to turn and keep running. That part, she understood better. It had been her go-to for years now.

Whenever things got too hot for her and Morgan, did they stay and fight? Of course not! They were thieves. When it went to ashes, they got out of there as quick as possible.

She wasn't that girl anymore though, was she? Everything had changed. Everything was different. The girl had changed, and the world around her had changed. How much had she changed? The fact that she didn't know the answer to that question was what had her still rooted in place the way she was.

"I've always planned," she said, almost to herself. "One always had to have a plan. To achieve the con, or to get out of it fast. I guess I could be spontaneous in choosing to run the game, but not much else."

[Roan]

Paks Liard

The smirk came back with ease as Paks shook her head slowly, “By always having a plan, you restrict yourself. Sometimes, the best moments in life come when you just live in the moment, and relish the present. If you spend all of your time planning, and planning alternatives, you may end up missing the magical minutes that can leave a person breathless.”

Taking one more step towards Nat, the Drin shrugged, “For what it is worth, I am not looking for anything more than an evening of fun where I can forget about the cares of the day or the responsibilities put on us by the Warder Yards.” She gave a soft laugh and shook her head again, “Have you seen me? I am not relationship material. . .well, serious relationship material.

“But hey, if you just want to go our separate ways, I’m good with that too. Seriously, no pressure from me, but perhaps. . .just perhaps you need to blow off steam, eh?” The Drin paused to let her words sink in, and to take another swig of mead before holding the bottle out once more, “Everyone needs to blow off steam every now and then.”

[Bella]

Natlya's brows knit as she took the bottle again, although her movements were slow and wondering. She took it and took a long drink, wishing that the liquor was touching her at all. She'd had enough to at least feel...pleasant, but the adrenaline and emotions of this present moment was enough to burn it all right off.

Her mind rolled through her life, and she found herself wondering if Paks was right and disagreeing with her at the same time. Looking back, she'd had many magical moments--breathless and remarkable...with Morgan.

The thought of him made her sigh, and her shoulders slump. She handed the bottle back with her eyes downcast.

She realized she was attracted to Paks, in a way she couldn't recall being attracted to a woman. Then again, once she had Morgan, she didn't look at anyone that way--male or female--again. Once he was dead, she certainly wasn't thinking about it. Now, she was, but she knew that she couldn't. Not yet.

"I'm sorry, Paks," she said softly, lifting her hazel eyes. "I can't. Not...not tonight. Not now. I...think I might want to, but I just can't." She stepped back again, looking around for a moment and then shaking her head as if at herself. "Thanks...for the night." She turned again and started walking away, though this time, she wasn't running.

[Roan]

Paks Liard

Paks took the bottle back as she watched Nat. The expression on the Ji'Val's face said it all, and the woman's words put the final nail in the coffin that was Paks' rejection for the night. Ultimately, the Drin was completely at peace with Nat turning her down, and understood, in some manner, the reasons why. She would not deny that on hearing the words, she felt a sense of disappointment. How long had it been since she'd been turned down for an evening of adult fun? She couldn't remember. "It's ok, Nat. I get it," was all she said as the other woman turned and started walking away from her.

The smirk faded from Paks' face as she watched Natlya turn and walk away. For several long minutes, she just stood there, and watched as Natlya's form drew further and further away. Letting out a heavy sigh, she looked around, and considered her options. She could have gone back to the tavern, but the hour was growing late, even for her. "Light burn it all," she huffed before taking another long pull of the bottle, and headed back to her shared quarters. She got some slim satisfaction that she'd likely give her roommate a heart attack, and with that one thought, the smirk was back.

Fin