Sword, Sloth and Sensibility [Attn: Craig]

[Andy]

There were hints of thoughtful reflection, a wistful gaze here and there and a tone that almost seemed sad at times. He was curious and the desire to question to find out was strong. He suppressed the urge to do so though, he was sure there were reasons but they were not his business and he had no right to an explanation or revelation. Still, it seemed like he was okay for now, punishment not meted out just yet. He was sure it would come but he would worry about that another time. “I’m sure they do, though less often then Drin’far’ji probably,” he muttered, “I wouldn’t worry. Not sure anyone can pull my strings. Not many there to pull” he shrugged. He looked over the Yard, gaze distant and thoughtful as he watched the others amongst his rank at work. It was a strange situation to be in, to be both in competition with your peers but also supposed to think you were part of a team, an army, a family perhaps. He could see why it was that way but he couldn’t agree with it. It was too easy to ostracise, as he himself had experienced. Too easy to turn into a war between ranks. I suppose it breeds the best but still…if I were… he began to think and let it go, he would never be in that situation, besides which he had no right to judge. Still, it was saddening. Respect, if he wanted it he needed to earn it. He did not need everyone to respect him but it was conceivable that if he could get a few to do so then they might be able to work together towards what he saw was a better way. Perhaps. He grew tired of resisting at any rate, there were only so many times one could rebel before it became tedious. Like as not he would still do so every so often but as for the rest of his time…well he would try. “Strange, how you can be part of an army but yet at each others throats for recognition. Ambition never suited me. Still…you make good points. Probably why you are where you are, so I’ll listen. I’ll try” he bowed his head respectfully. He went to walk away and hesitated briefly. It was less a question and more a statement. The man deserved some truth seeing as he was trying to reach him, to help him. Perhaps, he reasoned, it might help them to understand. He had been fearful of saying it aloud, he had never been good at being truthful with himself for all he held honesty with others as sacrosanct. “I have watched many of the Gaidin, I’ve had the free time to do so, as you know. I have seen a gruff sadness, or anger, in some of them. I wonder, at times, if they ever regretted getting where they were. Not many, but some. I suppose that fear is one that I hold, the fear of actually succeeding and not liking what happens after” he paused and fell silent, he felt enough had been said for an understanding. “Thank you for giving up your time to try to help me, Gaidin Captain. I hope that we can have another talk if I make it that far” he bowed again and walked to join the other Drin’far’ji, there to practise and try to be respectable.