The Grey Tower

As Murdock spoke, Torianin thought about their conversation thus far. He was a rather patient man. She was still rather unsure of herself and probably needed more guidance than was normal for a young woman her age. She still felt like herself when she was fifteen, ready to start something new, but now there was the experience of having been a damane looming behind her. He made the joke that she would likely grow to hate the white. She knew that he was trying to lighten the mood, so she let that stay where it was. He was making an effort where he didn't have to, just like the Aes Sedai from earlier.

They came to the office of the Mistress of Novices, and Murdock laid a hand on her shoulder. Consciously, she knew that the contact was an effort to reassure her that she would be fine. It was a gesture of comfort, one human being reaching out to another in a time of uncertainty. However, she could not hold back the flinch that jolted through her body. She shook her head and looked down as her cheeks reddened. She was able to stop herself from apologizing and cowering like a frightened child, as was her reflex. She took a deep breath and gave Murdock a smile. It had only taken a moment to collect herself, but it had felt like too long, for all he had done for her.

"Thank you so much," Torianin said, truly meaning it. It had been a long time since someone had taken the time to speak with her as a human being. "I will try my hardest to become accustomed to everything here." She deliberately left out what she was trying to leave behind. "Like you said, 'now we can look forwards.'" She had had nothing to look forward to but more of the same for so long. Now that was in the past. It was hard to believe, but now she could move forward on her own power. "You've helped me more than you know today. So, likewise, if you ever have need of me, please let me know, and I'll do all I can to help."

With hindsight, perhaps making physical contact with the twitchy former-slave was a bad idea. Murdock cringed internally but kept a patient smile on his face throughout, not wanting to make this any more difficult for her than it had to be. He gave her the moment she needed to collect herself, and a look down the corridor with a slight narrowing of his eyes was enough to keep any potential passing Novices at bay, so they gave the two of them a wider berth than usual on the way past.

“There is no need to thank me Torianin, it’s the least I can do to help someone who is a little lost.” He was glad to have helped her in this first step, arguably one of the biggest steps a person could take. It was no small decision to come to the Tower to train, though Murdock had no real choice in the matter so how brave was it, really? Likewise, Torianin was deposited here by an Aes Sedai and the man doubted she would have been allowed to simply wander away if she felt like it.

His initial reaction was to dismiss her insistence that he had helped more than he realised, but Murdock wasn’t going to deny her that truth if it was how she really felt. “It’ll take time to get used to things but as long as you are trying your hardest, that’s all that can be asked isn’t it? You will never get punished for doing your best.” This was mostly true, sometimes you got into trouble whether you were trying hard or not, but there was no need to dispirit the girl now. “When you are settled into Novice life, I’m sure we’ll get the chance to do some chores together. A friendly face always makes passing the time easier.”

He said that, but it wasn’t entirely true. He was perfectly happy to tidy on his own, left to his own devices, so he could brood in peace. Someone to talk at him would serve as a distraction, but that wasn’t necessarily a good thing. Still, Murdock had gone through the motions enough to know when he had to act like a fully functional adult who was still in control, and he could say the right things when needed. One day, he would believe the words he said once more and do more than simply say the right things.

With a low bow, Murdock finished with “Light shine on you Torianin. The next time we meet, we’ll both be trainees.” He left Torianin to enter the office on her own, for this was as far as he could ultimately take her, but he did loiter at the end of the corridor to ensure she made it in alright. How bad would that look, if he led her all this way only for her to fall out a window or lose her nerve and run away?

Thus, Murdock's good deed was done for the day, and he could resume his usual duties knowing he had done the right thing.


- Murdock Mather, Soldier