Broken Servants [Attn: Nykkolaia Sedai]

[Sean]

Before he could stop himself Valadin was choking back a laugh.

At first it was a snorting chuckle that forced its way up from his stomach with such strength that he had to turn away from Nykk. When he had thought the fit passed he braved a look at his Aes Sedai’s face and this time the amusement rang free as a booming laughter lifted into the Garden canopy above them before gliding upon the wings of robins who’d been startled by the noise. Bittersweet pain tugged at his ribs as he tumbled onto his back and let joyful convulsions rumble through every fiber of his being. Whenever it seemed that sense had reclaimed him, Val would sigh in relief only to be consumed by the uncontrolled mirth once more. It was foolish beyond measure—even an ox-brain like him knew that. She hadn’t said anything funny and Sisters could be a fickle sort if they didn’t have control of the situation. Women were little better in that respect; most people didn’t take kindly to being laughed at when it came down to it.

Still Val roared. Tears jumped from his eyes as the mad glee left his lungs squeezed dry and curled him into a ball. At some point his head found its way into Nykkolaia’s lap. By then he’d sobered some, only plagued by smaller quakes at unexpected junctures of silence. Finally the last gasp of a giggle left him and he lay there, head resting in the soft blue folds of an Aes Sedai’s dress feeling something he’d never experienced before with another person.

Content.

After some time passed and Val was certain another fit wasn’t on the way he thought about what he should say. He didn’t turn to look at her right away. He guessed her face would be sternly looking down on him. Probably slightly frowning in that way she does…the one where her lips are in a straight line, but her eyes are pinning up by my trousers against the wall. Light, I might like that…

In that instant he realized where his head rested. Expecting a rush of blood to fill his cheeks he tensed, readying to spring to his feet and apologize awkwardly for the offense. The feeling never came. The uncomfortable stiffness imposed partially by Tower formality and in part due to the nature of their character no longer served as a barrier that separated them. Somehow with her answer, Nykk had accomplished what no one in his twenty-something winters had ever accomplished.

His heart swelled with emotion; some he understood and others he couldn’t acknowledge at the moment. Before they would have to break away, before their shyness would separate them again, Val wanted to savor this unsullied moment. Letting the Void go, he imagined he could hear the dull drumming of Nykk’s heart. It hardly mattered whether hate or love fueled the reaction, but just knowing it beat for him was enough.

Finally he turned about, the dress’s cloth rumpling with his movement as he turned his face up to her. What sunlight managed to break through the canopy formed a halo about her head. The image was reminded him of that time when the candlelight shimmered beauteously around her and Val felt his unworthiness more keenly than any other time in his life.

“Sorry about all that,” he spoke. Throat raw, Val’s voice was barely above a whisper. “Just odd bein’ called human after first bein’ someone’s ware and then becomin’ a servant of the Light. Not much room fer bein’ human. And you…yer wrong.”

He didn’t move or explain. She probably wanted him to get up; Light knew how heavy he must’ve been on her legs. It was the smallness of the space separating them that rooted him stubbornly to the spot. They were touching…not like with the village girls or the Master’s buyers. They were really touching each other. As people…as people who cared about one another.

“You might pass fer human, but without you at my side, I’ll never be nuthin’ more’n half a man. A broken one at that.”

[Bella]

At some point in time, Valadin would stop doing things that shocked her. She was sure of it, because it just had to be. No one could keep this rate up forever, right?

That's assuming there is that much time to go... the more cynical voice in her head reminded her.

First, it was the laughter. She didn't think that anything she had said had been funny, and then it was where his head had ended up. She had never sat like this before, with anyone, and she could do nothing but stare down at him and wonder what in the name of the Light he was laughing so bloody much about! She was beginning to feel a little hurt, and nearly got up and walked away.

But she didn't. She just sat, feeling frozen in place, watching and waiting through his mirth. (If his head was heavy upon her legs, she didn't even think of it. Her shock took precedence.) When he finally did stop, and explained, the explanation struck a chord very deep in her. No room for being human... Yes. She knew that feeling. She knew that existence.

In the decades since she had been freed from Master's basement, had she ever truly felt human again? Maybe... There were moments...

When he had slid back in his gales of laughter and ended up with his head on her legs, she had raised her hands just out of instinct. Even as he spoke, they were still lifted. But she looked down at him. His words rolled around in her head.

Broken...

...might pass for human...

...half.

She slowly lowered her hands. One fell to the ground, pressing into the soft grass as if to hold herself up. The other, she lowered hesitantly to touch his face. Almost like she didn't believe there was a person there and she wanted to prove or disprove the reality. Her hand curved around his cheek, barely touching but touching none the less as she held his gaze.

"As am I," she whispered. "I've been broken for a long time. Perhaps together, there could be a whole person after all."

[Sean]

The tentative touch consecrated what they meant to each other even without words. In the slightly surprised manner of speaking Valadin had come to expect of her, Nykk mimicked his admission. A flash of deep understanding passed between them as Val saw his reflection in her eyes. It wasn't the sad duplicate he'd been dreading to see earlier. This time there was a light in the Sister's gaze that could only be acknowledged with a small nod. Such moments were ruined by superfluous grandstanding; he'd seen exchanges between the town fletcher and the woodsman back in the Four Kings.

Pressing Nykk's small hand onto his cheek, Val inhaled and released her before letting his limbs slacken. Not far off a Garden path played host to a gaggle of Novices. Their voices grew as they drew near the hiding place and passed without the least bit of suspicion. All the while, Val lay limply across Nykkolaia's lap, his thoughts dithering between complete peace and an unshakable concern that the Pattern would find a way to take this tidbit of happiness later on. Nothing good ever lasted...much less so for a slave; not even the care of an Aes Sedai could change that. Disliking the vein his thoughts continued in, he spoke to ward away the clouded worries that threatened his happiness.

“Nykk, how is it I've never seen you giving any lessons?" He asked.

His curiosity though insincere at first began to wonder at the truth in the question. Even the most stony of Sister and Guardians took part in educating the lower ranks; even if that edification covered the subjects of pain and humiliation. With all that it didn't seem likely that only some Aes Sedai and Asha'man were to take part in the lesson giving, yet Val hadn't been to one of Nykk's classes; not a single one since starting at the Tower.

Comfortable where he lay, Val observed Nykk carefully while waiting for an answer he already knew. Teaching would mean talking to room of strangers that could never comprehend your wants or fears. Val remembered how he would be ostracized by the villagers without them saying anything. The more people around him, the more pronounced the isolation became. Most times he was off by himself trying to avoid the pointed silence of civilization. A pang of homesickness surprised him, but he overcame the feeling with more talking.

That seemed to be a habit these days...at least around Nykk it was.

“What I mean to ask is...what does a Sister do in her spare time aside from plottin' the doom of men?" A chuckle threatened to rumble through him at the jest, but the fresh soreness of his torso smothered the bout of laughter.

He could stand not to laugh for a stretch.

[Bella]

Again, his off-hand chosen words struck closer to her core than she cared to contemplate.

There didn't seem to exist much of an outside world at that moment, like all of existence had encapsulated into that moment and just that one pair of people. The thoughts that each became lost in were very much their own, and yet if only they knew how very similar they were at times. Then again, they had already determined the similarities between them and it was those that had brought them to this moment.

Although the ice wanted to creep back into her muscles at his statement, she resisted. She didn't want to be icy now. Her heart felt like it hadn't beat in decades and had just started now, she wasn't ready to let it stop again.

"I was away from the Tower for a long time," she replied. "It has not been so long since I returned, and there is not yet a class suitable for me to teach." That was the truth, although the further truth was she wasn't very good at it. "Not every member of the Tower teaches, though, as some are just not suited to it and spend more time out of the Tower than in it."

[Sean]

Usually the details of a person escaped Val. Humans were so complex and contradictory that it was difficult to get a lasting impression about any individual for long. Most often people changed when you least expected them to—not always for the better. Horses were much simpler to deal with and their loyalty shifted hesitantly; most of all the creatures were magnificent.

When Nykk spoke though, Val could see the years of isolation that lay behind every word. Being Aes Sedai he was certain there was much that he didn’t know about her…some of it he was even afraid to learn. Nevertheless as they sat wrapped in the awkward embrace of one another, both virgin to the closeness they shared in the moment, he could sense the struggles that she felt like with no one else. Immediately he felt poorly for being indelicate. Light, he’d have balked at any of the questions he’d asked her and she actually had the authority to demand answers from him.

Sitting up with a grunt he craned his neck upward to mark the time, instead found a solid of wall of leaves overhead. “Burn me,” he swore, rubbing the sleeve of his tunic across his face. “I don’t really know what to make of ya, Nykkolaia Sedai.”

Turning to her fully, his eyes searched her face for something though what it could be he didn’t have the slightest idea. As always the Sister’s countenance was a portrait of harmonious perfection and imperfection. The notion of touching her unbidden would’ve frozen him with fear the last time they met, but now after knowing days could pass before he could see her again he confidently took her scarred cheek in his hand and drew her face to his. Their foreheads touched and Val felt the resplendent ache to touch her lips to his…to know that she loved him the same way he did her. Not yet. The thought lacked explanation and depth, but it was enough to keep Valadin from acting any further on instinct. Still, the Void escaped him with her being so close. A sweet scent of rose petals filled his nose and the warmth of her breath on his face made it all the harder to resist the earlier impulse.

“Never had nothin’ or nobody I felt so strongly for. It’s like I can’t breathe sometimes…then others it’s like I can only breathe when I’m around ya. You…you seem to manage it just fine. Sure, I surprise ya every now and again, but most times yer cool as spring water. Can’t tell if it bothers me or if I’m impressed by it.”

Just when the reason for the nagging dread that haunted him had been given voice, another nightmare unfolded.

A rustle of leaves drew his attention away from Nykk. There, watching the pair with an inquisitive arch of the brow, was a Sister. A blue shawl draped across her shoulders marked her as a fellow member of Nykkolaia’s Ajah, yet the triumph that even Valadin could see on the woman’s face, was not the expression of a friend looking favorably upon her peer. Carefully the Sister dipped her head in greeting, eyes never leaving the sight of Valadin and Nykkolaia together. It seemed she refused to blink for fear of missing even the smallest detail to use to her advantage.

“Greetings Sister, so sorry to disturb you. I was looking for a dear token I’d lost here the other day. My regrets for intruding on…a tender moment,” the woman dissembled, but gooseflesh rose on the back of Valadin’s neck as he scrambled to embrace the Void and mask his panic.

Too late.

“Oh, don’t fret young man. I am Sister Somin Tera of the Blue. Same as Nykkolaia. You are?” she asked smoothly, hands clasped together in front of her.

Val breathed unsteadily and spared a look in Nykk’s direction as he slowly pulled away from her. They were in it now.

The Aes Sedai wore a simple blue blouse with the only embellishment being the gold filigree laced along underside of the sleeves. A modest neckline hid her shape well though wide hips and the rather broad cut of her shoulders gave enough impression to know that feminine was not an apt description for the woman. Still the agelessness of those who used the One Power was obvious, the only sign of years advanced was how calmly the woman gloated over her find. “M-m-my-I…I mean, I’m Val, er, Valadin Manelle. P-pl-pl-pleasure to meet ya, Somin Sedai,” Val answered.

Another victory must have been won for the Sister’s smile deepened as she looked directly at Nykkolaia this time. “Sister, is this your bondmate?”

The question itself seemed innocent, but Val had no head for Aes Sedai games. Wanting nothing more than to melt from the spot, he watched Nykk from the corner of his eye.

[Bella]

Nykkolaia Zeran didn't like surprises.

She used to, once upon a time. When she was a girl, she found the idea of a surprise to be rather thrilling and had often sought to "surprise" her parents with innocuous amusements, to which they never seemed very surprised at all. They tried to look it, but she was an intelligent little girl and was rarely fooled. Still, she did appreciate their efforts to appease her.

Now, however, it was one of the many ways that she had been changed. She didn't like them anymore, and most especially not in moments where she was already tense. It released her adrenaline. When the sound had first been heard and then she had seen her fellow Blue, the spike had come. First, it made her wish for flight. That quickly turned to fight when she saw the other woman's eyes.

Think you have one up on me, do you? Her startle turned to anger. This was, actually, a situation she understood better. She was used to people expecting little good of her, or at least perceiving they did.

"There are no items here," Nykk said coolly. "So I would not wish to detain you in your search, Sister." Her face remained impassive and her eyes, ice. The bond mate question pricked at her. She had no desire to get Valadin in trouble, but then again, he did know that their meeting today came with some risk...

Her mind raced as she held the other woman's gaze. At least this woman had no power over Nykkolaia. She was a Blue just as she. "Not yet, but he will be," she replied evenly and the Oaths allowed it, because to her mind, she realized, she had all intention of it. The Wheel might change, but her intentions were true. "Now, unless we are the dear token you seek, good day to you."

[Sean]

The tension snapped as one Sister's salvo opened room for a counter strike. To someone like Val, only the intent of the play was comprehensible; even that gathered from what little expression each woman let touch their faces. He'd been waiting to see Nykk's response. Should the need arise he would've foolishly jumped in harm's way to spare her any harmful consequence. Already he worked on a story saying it was he that had attempted to act lewdly with an Aes Sedai. In some ways he thought it true, but the chance to say anything never came.

“Not yet, but he will be."

Five simple words and Valadin felt his heart ready to burst free from his chest. By the Light...ain't a woman like her anywhere. A wave of love filled him with strength and the confidence to match the other woman's gaze came easily.

To her credit the Sister eyed them coolly. “Of course, Sister. As I said I didn't mean to intrude."

On the surface, the answer seemed without subterfuge. Val nodded, relaxing somewhat at the averted crisis. He waited patiently to be alone with Nykk again. This time he would bloody kiss his woman whether he got flayed by the One Power or not. Somin Sedai made no move to leave instead deliberately smoothing out her skirt. “Sorry to you and your intended. He looks...competent. I'm sure he's a wonderful Asha'man. Aren't you, boy?"

Again the feeling of being held at swordpoint closed in on Val. He flushed at the question, not certain if he should answer. Hoping for guidance he tried to steal another look at Nykk, “I see. She's the brains and courage while you're...the good looks and the youth? Even babes have their uses," the Sister cut in sweetly.

Val burned at the remark. “Hey I'm no babe! I've reached my manhood seven summers ago! Asha'man or no, yer not going to have laughs at my expense fer no reason!"

“Oh dear. Forgive me...I wasn't aware you hadn't earned your Dragon pin yet. Being so young it only makes sense. Why, Nykkolaia, dear, did you know of this?!"

The outrage in her voice cooled Val's anger in an instant. Suddenly he felt like he'd made a mistake. Light, he hated Aes Sedai and their bloody games.

[Bella]

Men and their egos, Nykk reflected with an inward sigh. Nothing showed on her face, either at the other Blue's words or Valadin's outburst. While with him, she too often had been Nykk. Now, she was Nykkolaia Sedai, Sister of the Blue, and her Aes Sedai was shining clearly through her bearing. There was someone other than the broken woman inside, but this creature was even less human than the other.

"Little escapes my notice, Sister," she said pointedly with a faint curl at the corners of her mouth while she kept her eyes focused on the other woman. This was an intruder. A threat. And she'd called her 'dear' when she had no right. Nykk hated that. Another woman might jump in with words of self-defense, but she had nothing to defend herself over with this woman.

The only power she may have is the power you grant her.

"Were you waiting for me to offer to help you look for your lost trinket, Somin Sedai?" she asked with her own pointed propriety.

[Sean]

Of the catfights Val had seen there was a good deal of hissing and sometimes even clawing that passed between the combatants. Most men liked that sort of thing, but Valadin avoided heated exchanges of all kinds as best he could.

The words that snapped in quick, biting statements between these two women were cold...devoid of emotion...though any wool-head could taste the animosity in the air.

Nykk was especially menacing. Despite not moving an inch the transformation that had come over the woman was noticeable. Her neck and back were straight, chin angled slightly upward as she met her Sister levelly at each comment. Val remained fixed to the spot out of sheer confusion of what to do next. Rank wasn't the only thing that set Somin...and Nykk on a different level than he. Their presence was formidable without machismo or need of a sword, neither looking ready to concede victory. These are the wills that shape the world, Val's mind told him.

It was then that he realized confusion wasn't the only thing that held him in his seat. The earlier confidence in being able to kiss Nykkolaia withered inside him.

“Very well." Somin Sedai's words held all of winter's chill as she dipped into a curtsy. “Forgive my intrusion. Obviously what I'm looking for isn't here. I bid you both a fine evening."

That said she glided out of sight with all the air of the Queen herself. Exhaling after a long spell of silence, Val flopped onto his back. He wasn't even ashamed of the moisture darkening his collar. “Mother's milk in a cup!" He swore loudly.

All he wanted was to be away from the Tower. Everyone was bloody mad! You might soon be too the voice in his head mocked and Saidin's insistent sweetness beckoned to be seized.

Not knowing what else to do, Val put a hand over his face and as he lay on his back and tried to collect his wits. Was there anywhere in this new world that he was safe?

[Bella]

The tension in her posture lasted long enough for Nykk to feel assured that the woman was really gone. The Blue was tempted to form a ward around them, as she had some minor skill in it, but she didn't want that woman or some other Aes Sedai to "see" it and think she was up to no good, much as Somin Sedai already had.

Once she felt 'safe,' as as safe as she ever felt, she let out a long breath and covered her eyes with her hand. The ice melted, and fast, leaving the anxiety that would have taken its place had her inward defenses not kicked in so quickly.

She heard his curse, and shared the feeling...although she felt other things now, too. Things that hadn't been allowed to permeate her emotional shielding before. Would he hate her now, for anything said or seen? The moments had felt too right to last long, she knew, since such things were no longer hers to possess and she knew it was only a matter of time.

After a cluster of shuddering breaths, she lowered her hand and looked at him. "I am...sorry for any trouble that might come to you because of me, of this," she said, her voice soft and returned to the woman she had been just minutes before.