The comforts of the red roses. ATTN Bella

[Dan]

There were moments in the day, little snippets of time where Senna found that she could be selfish. Since her oldest recollection, she had been in service to one person or another, from one harsh voice to another. A life of subservience, at least that's what she believed, from every sunrise to every sunset of her life, until… until….

There were brief moments where she could rebel, where time owned by another, was taken for her own. These where selfish little moments that she stole all for herself, without shame. These were little moments where a young woman in Novice whites could stop a Novice in whites, where she could not serving, where she could just let her guard down. Where she could try to think for herself. Time for her to be her. To be Senna. But as precious as those little periods of selfishness were, she knew of the great expectations that had been placed onto her small shoulders. Shoulders far too frail for a girl of her age.

But such thoughts became lighter, when she allowed herself to feel them. It was a dangerous game, and every time, she feared she would not be able to go back. To just being this, being a Novice, what ever that really meant. Deep in thoughts, the girl found herself in a now somewhat familiar corridor, one that she had discovered did not get used as frequently, an odd place that looked oddly newer than many other parts of the Tower, yet shared many similar themes.

She had been sent here once before, to deliver a message to some elder woman with an aura of authority. She had found the place oddly peaceful. Red tapestries and matching carpets decorated the corridor. Various different flowers of different shapes and forms, but all in relative shades of red. Flowers cared for with visible love and attention. She had seen such places before, places with colors honored like this. But this one was the quietest.

The Red Ajah Halls.

She did not understand any of this at all, about being a Novice, about being free, about being alive! It was all so overwhelming! There was just so much, and she just couldn't figure it all out. Her lips parted, as her face reflected a painful memory from deep within. She was ahead of schedule, having performed her first chores swiftly. The women in charge would not be displeased, she would not be punished. Not that she had been, since being brought to this place. There was no one here, there rarely was this early in the day. Red was the colour of blood, of war. But at the same time, it was rich and beautiful. Complex.

This was her daily crime, Senna would push herself on the edge of too hard, just so she could try and steal some time, in some vain effort to try and process everything shoved before her. Sometimes she found a quiet refuge in a storage room, or an empty chamber. Senna had brief bits of time before she was expected again. She had time, she could delay, there was no one here anyway. The girl did not noticing anyone, not that her blurry vision would have noticed, and she then let herself cry. Softly and silently, her face tingly, her vision darkening, her chest heaving in unsteady breathing. She could feel her heart race, she could feel the sweat dripping down her back uncomfortably. Hands were clenched into fists at her sides, she had stopped stuffing all of the feelings within, and during this precious moment she had stolen, she let it all out. A storm of emotions, a monite all for herself.

"Aes Sedai, Saidar, Saidin, Asha'gaidin? All of that, all of them, they act like I am expected to know of all this, just because, just because that woman found something in me." The young andoran teen let her thoughts roam, and mouth stray. Her words were shaky, but clear. With finality, her shaking lips said; "It's not fair, i don't… I don't understand."

She took a deep breath, and she both sucked in all of her emotions, while also forcing it out. It was the closest way she could explain what she did, and by her wet cheeks, it was clear that it was no easy feat. And broke, at the sight of a wise looking older woman, dressed in red. It took a moment, but she eventually noticed the ring. And at it's sight, she rushed into a hasty curtsy, and fell to her knees.

[Bella]

Andraste Alhandra Sedai was still a beautiful woman.

She was older than she'd been when she first came to the Grey Tower, of course, but she was hardly among the elder of them all. (That honor, among the female channelers, was still held by Captain-General Miahala t'Darrow. Andra wasn't sure anyone but Mia knew how old she was, and no one was going to ask. All anyone knew was that she'd survived the Breaking, and that was enough.)

Gliding through the halls of her Ajah, her mind worked through the various tasks she had on any given day. She was teaching one class at the moment, but she also knew that she was due to head out on a mission soon. There were rumors to be investigated...

Her thoughts stopped at the sight of the Novice. She was clearly upset and also had not expected Andra to chance upon her. She hastily prostrated herself in that way that still made Andra a little uncomfortable. The light reflected off the wet, glistening cheeks, and Andra had a flashback to when she first came to the Tower.

Heartbroken. Grieving. Desolate.

"Please, child, rise," she said gently. "Come." She gestured for the girl to follow her to a nearby alcove with a pair of overstuffed, deep-red armchairs. "Sit, and tell me your name?"

[Dan]

"Please, child, rise," One would consider those words a completely reasonable request, a request that Senna wished she could fulfil, but the girl's legs would simply not cooperate for her. Her young eyes would not stop tearing up, and caused her to wipe them repeatedly with the now damp sleeve of her Novice whites., but that was the least of her concerns. She was intent on doing as she was told, she made her legs move, but they lacked the strength and coordination required to function steadily. But she was at least now able to get into a more stable, more proper position. "You obey, or you.." Senna shook her head defiantly at the echo of remembered words, a multitude of voices, together, separate, a cacophony of bad memories. Her hair tossed side to side, and she quickly regretted her actions as a wave of overwhelming tingles spread across her face and scalp. The world was spinning, yet it was still and crystal clear at the same. She was cognizant enough to know what was expected of her, cognizant enough to feel some embarrassment at being on her knees,. She wished dearly to abide by the Aes Sedai;s order, she honestly feared disobeying. But the truth of it all was that she felt as if she was at war with both her body, and her very heart. She knew she was a mess, and she could not even find the strength to find dignity again. She had felt the wrath of angry mistresses before, from her youth, or so she thought. It was difficult to remember sometimes, she knew but not how she knew. The girl was sadly far too knowledgable about the wrath of others. She knew the signs, the subtle body language, the tone of voice, that unvoiced threat in hiding their every word. But for Senna, this was a first. Amongst a week of new things, this was a first of great importance. A chance to learn what she could one day become. There was expectation in the elder's voice, but no malice within the unique tone of the Aes Sedai. None that the younger girl could feel. She had experienced very bad mistresses before, but this one, she was different. But this was no mistress, these women, they were different. Unlike she who found her, this woman in red did not resemble other women the girl had been familiar with. There was a distinct difference, and it confused her. The elder woman's eyes, there was something about her features, but she could not understand it. The unusual features, the unique regard, the way the elder woman spoke. It really struck the young Senna, and that this was an Aes Sedai. Be it born of spite with a shred of defiance, or perhaps she was moved by a shred of hope, the Novice grunted softly and got to her feet. The effort progressed slowly, but with generously granted time, she got to her feet. As her body moved, she wanted to apologize, it was clear in the expression of her eyes. But she had the impression that, of all things today, that would upset the older woman. It was best to get to work, and to be silent. She took a deep breath and took a step forward, not remembering the other thing the woman had said, but following the command to come regardless. Aside from the Aes Sedai who found her, she had never been addressed by an individual Aes Sedai directly outside of orientation, lessons or lectures. That itself was not what gave the youth a sobering pause. It was that the tone of the older woman was unexpected, and welcomed. She came to the realization that she was no longer panicking. She would not lie and say she suddenly trusted this woman with heart and mind, but this woman, the Aes Sedai did not feel like a threat at all. She was now walking more steadily, with nary a shake in her step. In an effort to hide her moment of weakness, she overcompensated, and at times walked overly stiff. Her lips were curved into a sad expression, her eyes looked very tired. She ran out of her personal stolen time. Now, she was on the Aes Sedai's watch. Young Senna sat down, and badly suppressed a yawn. The cycle of emotions having taken it's toll.

Spoiler: show

Yes, I'm aware she did not answer her question. She did not mentally register the question. Apologies!

[Bella]

Andraste watched the cycle of emotion and movement that she saw playing out on the young Novice. Andraste wondered if she had ever been that young. She knew she had once been that broken... Perhaps it was not from the same cause, given that her breaking was as an adult, but the intensity was, she thought, comparable.

She waited patiently, probably unlike most Aes Sedai, and gave the girl the time she needed to right herself...at least as much as she could.

While this all went on, the Red simply...observed. She was good at that. As a merchant in her "before" life, she'd needed to be good at watching and deciphering people. To make educated guesses as to their moods and receptivity. The girl here was...not receptive, she picked up on, but it was only because there were emotional walls. Trauma of some kind.

"My name is Andraste Sedai," she introduced herself after a few moments of silence. "What is your name, child?"

Spoiler: show

OOC: No worries! Andra will just ask again, lol.

[Dan]

The Aes Sedai, and her voice. No, not merely her voice, her spoken words. The words uttered by a woman, who had by proof of her very shawl, had earned her fair share of wisdom. The girls thoughts had strayed, the pressure of the moment making her experience a sort of external thoughts. There are so many of those the rings, women and girls, but there are not as many that have the shawls. Are those what makes them Aes Sedai?

The more she pushed herself to listen, to acquiesce, the stray thoughts began to grow quiet. Senna found that she able to push away the negative anxieties that had been wracking her body and mind, if only she pushed and focused. The woman-child did not understand any of the finer subtleties of the mind, she was merely a tavern wench. The child was not even sure she was aware of how her situation was improving, the more she directed her focus entirely on the older woman. She did not understand, but she did it, regardless..

She found the strength to ignore the way her cheeks had been feeling so strange, the way they had felt so wet and so cold and tingly. She found the will to ignore the way her legs had been unsteady, just a mere moment ago. She took a breath, then a second, and stood on both feet. While Senna not visually the most steady looking, she was clearly not about to fall.

The girl offered a rough, yet successful curtsy and said in a soft, barely audibly voice; "My name is Senna, miss…" she began to say, but changed her words on a whim. With a tiny shred of confidence, she said a bit louder; "Aes Sedai. My name is Senna."

[Bella]

Andraste simply sat, quiet and still, watching and sensing the roiling emotions rolling over and through the girl standing before her. She was a patient woman. She always had been, and that trait had only strengthened as she attained ranks at the Grey Tower...except, of course, when someone angered her.

Fortunately, that wasn't the case here.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Senna," she said smoothly once the girl actually got the words out. "Please, have a seat. What has brought you to the Red Ajah halls today?"

[Dan]

Senna was genuinely grateful for the Aes Sedai's offer, even one as ignorant as her to the culture here, she could tell this woman was treating her not like a mere child, not like a mere Novice, but like a person. The few other Aes Sedai she had spoken to so far had not shown that kind of treatment. They treated her as they should, they were the mistresses, and she was but, a sliver deep within her mind could not help but wonder what was she anyway? Regardless, Senna smoothed her dress, and tried her best effort to mimic the way the older woman had sat down.

Once settled in her seat, the Novice began to try and answer the elder woman, but looking at the Aes Sedai, Senna's own mouth hung slack open, her hair slipping from place and began to cover her warm green eye. The girl's visible expression was a fluid chain of half felt emotions and thoughts running free through her mind to the surface. In all honesty the Novice was unsure how to respond.

She shrugged, sometimes, you just had to be honest with yourself, and those around you, even as ridiculous as it may sound in some cases. With a hand, she tucked her hair back appropriately behind her ear, she then respectfully faced the Red Aes Sedai, braving the Red's gaze, and said aloud but with a nervous tremor; "Aes Sedai, I, I have seen many of the other Ajah's quarters. They each have a sort of vibrant feel to them. There's just so much, it's a bit overwhelming. But here? Within the Red, within your Ajah's halls, it's far more quiet and peaceful. Everyone moving has purpose, but it's clear and distinct. They just feel, I don't know, less scary than the rest of this Tower? I've never seen a place like this, the tower alone is bigger than any village I've ever seen!" She added at the end nervously as her thoughts trailed a bit sideways.

Senna shifted her gaze to the floor and to the left of the Aes Sedai. Were her emotions not a mess, she would notice how nice and clean the floor was. Her own mind was her very worst enemy sometimes. Her shoulders tensed up as she suddenly felt scared and regretful for her open candor. She felt stupid for fixing her hair a moment before, she could have used it to hide the tears she felt wanted to come out. She bit her lip as she did all she could to not look at the other woman.