The Murdock Principle

[Chris]

Murdock gave the room a bit of silence, letting Kaira have the metaphorical space she seemed to need. They did get into it pretty quickly didn't they? Probably not what had in mind when she knocked on his door but hey, she sort of brought it on herself. Still, the Keeper wasn't trying to make her uncomfortable intentionally.

"Sounds like you have some decisions to make," he supposed, though he wasn't sure whether that was true or if she simply had the illusion of choice. That was between her and her family, and possibly the Mistress of Novices. "But nothing needs to be decided right this minute." Admittedly he wasn't at all sure what happened to people in Kaira's position who were trainees, but also not? It wasn't his decision. Whatever the result it shouldn't be swayed by her, ahem, connections, but again - not his call. Murdock twiddled the stick on his lap. Still, she'd been allowed to wander off with a weapon and visit various channellers so she wasn't being kept on the tightest leash for whatever reason. Probably because cornered dogs bit harder.

The silence stretched a little more.

"Here's a thought exercise," Murdock said eventually, once he was sure Kaira was a little more composed. Possibly. It was difficult to tell. "What do you think should happen now you're at the Grey Tower? Say I was the Mistress of Novices, what do you think I should say or do if you want to stay and learn, possibly become Aes Sedai?" He offered a wan smile, "nothing you say leaves this room unless you want it to. Just consider the possibilites of what may or could happen, then we can determine how realistic they are. If that is something that concerns you?" The Brown considered it. "I hear a lot of trainees can get anxious about the uncertainty of it all. That's very ordinary. Regardless, I will have you meet a couple of my daughters. Whether you want to stay or not, it might be nice to have some friends closer to your own age." Melissa was always happy to meet new people, and Phoebe liked a problem to solve.

[Craig]

Kaira

"What should the Mistress of Novices do for me?" That was the question Kaira thought Murdock asked. She wasn't about to ask him to clarify even if she was wrong.

"I mean, I've no idea," she replied without thinking. "I have a block. I'm not sure if I am channeller material. I'm certain someone told me once that some blocks just couldn't be overcome, and if that's the case, I'm probably one of them."

"Of course I'd love to be an Aes Sedai," she continued on without a pause, "like Auntie El, and Zarayne. And like you and Miahala too, I guess. Who knows what Iain will be, but he'll probably take after Dad and follow him into the Warders' Yard."

"I mean, I could follow Father into the Warders' Yard. I'm probably more useful with a sword now than with the One Power. But I'm not sure what the rules are about channellers becoming Gaidin. I'm sure there's a lot of complications there and..."

The stream-of-consciousness ended, and Kaira felt herself surrounded by the empty silence. She touched the scabbard, sensing the steel underneath. The sword underneath was something solid she could actually use, unlike saidar. The One Power was like a weapon fused with its scabbard: utterly useless.

"Yeah, so I'm not anxious about being an Aes Sedai. Obviously I can do it, if Zarayne's done it. It's about being able to do it." She stretched an arm out towards Murdock, fingers spread in a claw shape, playfully imagining that would allow her to channel. Kaira didn't even begin trying to reach for saidar. Light knew what would actually happen to her if she tried channelling in the Keeper's presence, uncle-in-law something-times-removed or not.

She dropped her arm into her lap. "So yeah, what do you do with a broken Novice? I dunno."