Finally Here (attn Random person of randomness)

[nojanath]

Capell looked around, not entirely sure where to go. He was sure he found his way to the right place, what with the people milling about and looking angry at wood and straw figures with bits of wood, but beyond that he was at a loss for what to do. He could probably ask, but everyone around looked like they were busy with what they were doing, and, well, if he asked the wrong person he could probably get them in trouble for distracting them or something similar.

And, along similar lines, he didn't see a registration desk of any sort or variety. Then again....why would a Warder have a desk? He was sure one of them had one, but he was also sure most Warders would rather chew nails than sit at a desk made with them. So where should he look? The few times he'd been the capital he found recruitment areas and buildings for the Andorran army spotted around the city, but it was rather silly to have a recruitment office for your organization, inside of your organization. And, for that matter, the idea of Warders recruiting by sitting in an office seemed silly anyway. How did most people get here? Brought along by Aes Sedai or Warders who saved them? Personal recommendation? He was probably not among the majority, having just walked here from his....home.

Thoughts of his old home rang through his head like a bouncing ball made of spikes, but he stifled the feeling, deciding that maybe it would be best to wait till someone who looked a tad older wasn't doing something that seemed important, like yelling at someone, or yelling louder at someone. Ashes, but was he really at the right place? Technically, that was a stupid question seeing the people around him, but in the matter of the heart, what was he doing here? Capell groaned, looking around again not quite sure what to do. He didn't even bring a weapon with him, unless he became prone smacking people with his flute. He could have brought either his father's or brother's sword, but after everything, it just seemed right to put them in the graves. Capell's gut wrenched again, but he forced the feeling down again. Either way, he was sure that it work out, hopefully.

[Jon]

Lee didn’t often find herself out in the open at the Tower. Sure, she wasn’t explicitly forbidden from walking around the Tower grounds, but she got the impression that novices were expected to look busy. Idly walking around the Tower grounds did not present the ideal picture of the busy novice, and when that image was not presented, Lee usually had more added to her already busy workload. Sometimes, she just needed a break from the busy, so she did her best to look like she was roaming with a purpose.

Today, that meant a trip to the Warder Yards. Every initiate of the Tower was known to spend time down at the Yards. It was what was considered an acceptable past time. Soldiers were expected to pick up some of the sword skills, if they wanted. Novices were there to be exposed to swordsmanship, weaponry, and battle—though they would not be able to see anything remotely like battle until they were well on their way to achieving the Shawl. This assumed that battle didn’t come to Hama Valon, like it did on occasion. Lee knew the stories of past troubles, not having witnessed any herself since coming to the Grey Tower.

As for her exposure to violence, Lee was easing her way into comfort with the idea. A letter had arrived from her parents, but she hadn’t opened it yet. Part of her knew what to expect. If she was right, her mother would’ve written the letter because that was Lee’s mother. She would break her silence to one of the Lost because Lee deserved to know what she’d done. It was full of thoughts of losing family without even meaning to that Lee wandered the Yards. A young man, looking around and apparently lost himself but in a different way, groaned and drew Lee’s attention. She gave him a quick study before realizing that no one else had noticed him.

Drawing near, she whispered towards him, “The Gaidin and Sisters don’t take kindly to idlers,” she reminded him. He had to be a Drin, but probably new to the Tower if he was making this mistake. “Now, where are you supposed to be?” It was a risk to draw attention to both of them with her white dress, but she didn’t want him to be in trouble any more than she wanted herself to be. Lee was nothing if not a martyr.

[nojanath]

Capell nearly jumped out of his skin with fright when he heard the voice behind him as he was lost in thought. His vision faded red for a moment but all in a fraction of a second he got a handle of himself again. An onlooker might have noticed a slight movement or contortion of his face, but only if they didn't blink. It wasn't like him to be so on edge...must be that the events of...earlier were still on his mind. Memories concerning the tragic events at his home echoed sharply through his mind and heart, but he stifled that too. It was odd, since the event he'd gotten a better handle on his emotions, but had barely any control over how the slightest thing drummed them up. He could herd his livestock, but only when they were stampeding, so to speak.

He spun, ever so slowly, to glance at who he could only assume to be a Novice. Aes Sedai typically retained youth in age, or so he heard, but her eyes were youthful, like his brother's. Capell mentally flinched again, squinting his eyes a bit to recoil, but collected himself. "To be honest Ma'am, I have no idea. I just walked here from northern Andor to join, but now that I'm here I have nary a clue as to who I need to talk to, or where exactly I need to line up." He sounded stupid, he knew, but he wasn't about to cross someone who could turn him into animal feed with her mind. Not that skipping pleasantries was crossing someone, unless they were expecting them, like an Aes Sedai would. Are Novices Aes Sedai? No, that's silly, but they're like...half Aes Sedai...a third? And an Aes Sedai wouldn't want someone to be rude, but would a trainee care? Was he thinking too much about a greeting and a question? Light, what was Capell doing?

Realizing that he had been staring a bit blankly lost in thought, Capell cleared his throat, and continued, "If you could show me where to go, or point me in the right direction, so I'm no longer an idler," that word sounded strange coming from his mouth, "I would most appreciate it Ma'am." Um....should he bow? Pleasantry would dictate that right? Wouldn't it? He bowed to a local Lord before, and an Aes Sedai is above that....right? So an Aes Sedai trainee is roughly a Lord? Not quite knowing what to do, he bowed slightly, and a little awkwardly, in case it was expected, and try as he might, the silliness of it all made his cheeks color slightly.

[Jon]

There was something about this man that Lee liked. She couldn’t really put a finger on what exactly, but she liked him. Perhaps, it was the way he talked. He used words that she knew but never used herself. They were like odd figurines held in a shelf in her mind, and the only time she noticed them was when someone else pointed them out. It could also have been the small bow that he gave her after they had finished talking. It was awkward, and he had given it as if he were unsure whether or not he should. Laoise had never been bowed to before, outside of dancing at festival, and she found that she liked the courtesy. She returned his bow with a curtsy, not as low as she would’ve given a Sister but low enough to match the bow he’d given her. Then, standing up, she giggled, “You don’t need to bow to anyone but a full Sister,” she said through her giggles. “I am not sure how you should interact with any of the Brothers, though, so you might bow to them too. I’ve only ever seen them salute.”

Looking around the yards, she tried to remember where the office of the Master of Training was located. She had never really needed to visit him before, and she tended to avoid the Mistress of Novices office as best she could. So it made sense that she had never had any desire to seek out the Master of Training. She thought about Alrim and Viktor; that had been a time when finding the Master of Training would’ve been worthwhile. But it was in the past, and she let it sink back into memory. The large manor-like building that stood before them was probably the best bet. “That is where I think most of the Drin and Ji’val live and where the Master of Trainees and other Warder Officials have their offices,” she explained, pointing to the building. “I’ve never been inside, so I can’t say for sure, but I’ve seen many warder trainees come in and out that building.” She looked around as people milled. They had been still too long. Sooner or later someone would bust up their party.

At that realization, a short, dark-haired warder made his way towards them in the yards. The man’s eyes were fixed on her white dress, so she knew she was busted. His face looked like it might be nice, if it weren’t intently focused on her. He wore no particular uniform, but Lee thought she recognized him. “In fact, I don’t think you’ll need to go looking for him,” she said sadly. “I think my white dress has brought the Master of Training here to us both now.” The man closed the distance between the two of them quickly, so Lee finished her sentence and then hung her head. She curtsied much deeper than she had for the newcomer. “How can I be of service Julian Gaidin?” she asked with diffidence.

“You should not be out here, novice,” he said with the accents of Tear still on his lips, not the accents of the Maul but of the Stone. “And you,” he said pointing to the newcomer, “had better have a good reason for being here.” He gave the newcomer a look up and down before turning back to Lee. “I will be discussing this with Velanya Sedai,” he told her, “so you had better go on with what you should be doing before you find yourself in more trouble than you already are.” His severe face shifted to a small smile, and Lee curtsied before leaving. She didn’t dare look at the newcomer. Perhaps, she might find him some other time.

Julian Taavo, Master of Training, turned back to the newcomer, and his face resumed the stern gaze he’d shown before. “I will not ask twice,” he said in the emotionless voice of one deep in the Oneness. He had not reached for his sword, but he was ready to strike if he needed to.

[nojanath]

Capell glanced the, who he would assume to be, Warder up and down to take in the mental image. With his peripheral vision of course, darting his eyes up and down to a person within a position of authority, whether that was in effect now or later, was not a good plan, but it wasn't a pleasantry, but something slightly off...discipline? But discipline is following a command because you either believe in it, your leadership, or something else right? Capell just didn't want to deal with fallout. Light, but he didn't even want to be here. He wouldn't dream of cursing his brother's memory, but it felt tempting at the moment, if he would in fact dream of it.

Standing up straighter he felt the urge to salute, like the Novice suggested, but at the same time...what salute did they want? He knew the Andorran salute, as he watched his father teach it to his brother many times in preparation for his military service. Capell suppressed another wince as the nostalgic thoughts dripped of poisonous anxiety and regret in the back of his mind. He's new, so he'd probably have leeway in just not knowing what exactly he was doing, as long as he made an attempt. He'd likely get reprimanded but, but a reprimand against ignorance must be lighter than one in contempt. He thought. Taking a mental dive, he stood straight at what he assumed to be attention and rendered his best Andoran salute. "Sir, I've walked from Northern Andor to join the Warders, but I don't know where to go." Short, concise, different from the flowery language he tried to throw at the Novice. It wasn't necessarily a military, but still military minded. Bureaucrats appreciate pointless flowery language, military men appreciate short, blunt, concise language.

Capell held his salute to the Warder, making a concerted effort to stare straight and maintain posture and his salute. He may not be disciplined, per say, but the path of least resistance lay in the one where he didn't make too much waves. Yet, here he was, doing something so atypical of what his entire being stood for. Shouldn't he have just buried the dead and maintained the farm? That was also a part of his family's legacy, but that wasn't where the dreams lie. But his brother also just wanted to join a military, yet Capell had walked clear across the entire country to this place, in a vain attempt to make that dream something more. And here he was, at the cusp of losing anything he had in the definition approaching freedom, yet, he didn't leave. He found himself holding back tears at the thought of the fact that he was all that was left of his family's dreams, and that he wasn't even a good last resort, just an excuse for a cause. He wasn't sure just how much any of this showed, but Capell did his utmost to remain as neutral and still looking as possible. What else could he do?

[Jon]

With the Novice gone, Julian focused his attention on the new recruit. He watched the man salute him in the Andoran style, a smile cracking his face. So the man had walked from Andor to train at the Grey Tower. “What brought you so far to Hama Valon when you could’ve joined the Warders in Tar Valon?” he asked in his military tone. If the newcomer would like to play the military man, Julian would play the part too. As the man answered, Julian gave him a looking over. There was nothing of the man’s features that screamed Andoran. Lighter hair and brown eyes were common in many lands. Other than that, nothing about the man was extraordinary. Something in his stance told Julian that this recruit had some military training, but there was a hesitation about him. Training might harden him into a better fighter or it might break him. Julian would have to keep a close eye on him in a few weeks.

When the man had given his answer, Julian only nodded. “At ease,” he said. “I am Julian Taavo, Master of Training. I am the one responsible for the various Drin’far’ji and Ji’alantin who currently train at the Grey Tower. I will be the one to record your name in our rosters if you still want to join us after I show you around.” He then began to walk towards the training area and called back, “Be sure to keep up.”

The two men walked through the Warder Yards. Julian showed the newcomer where the trainees and Warders sparred. He talked about the classes this man would take as he studied. He talked about life in the shadow of the Grey Tower. He explained the sleeping quarters and relationships to the other trainees at the Tower. He warned against getting entangled with a Novice or a Soldier. Ji’alantin, Accepted, and Dedicated were expected to know better, so they were also expected to make wise decisions. If that meant getting involved, that meant getting involved with someone. He didn’t want to have to step into a lovers quarrel. “But I know nights can get lonely,” Julian admitted, breaking his military facade to give the newcomer a wink. “Just don’t draw enough attention to yourself and I won’t have to step in.”

They ended their tour on the second floor of the manor house in which all of the warder trainees slept. They were in his office, the enrollment book open between them. Julian stood behind his desk, a quill held out to the newcomer. “Well, son,” he said, “I’ve done my best to scare you away.” In reality, he hadn’t. There was much more Julian could’ve said to scare away this newcomer, but those were the secrets of the enrolled. Still, he had said what he could. “If you still wish to join, I will need your name to record on our roster. From then on, you are tied to the Tower until I see fit. Choose wisely, son.” And with that Julian set the quill and ink pot next to the open book and took a seat, studying this new Drin’far’ji over his steepled fingers.
------------------------------ Some part of Lee must have been stirred by this newcomer because when Julian Gaidin sent her away, she only went far enough away to see but not be seen. She followed at a distance, watching the two men walk through the Warder Yards. She could not hear, but she could hear and wait. When they disappeared into the building, she waited patiently for the newcomer to come out. If he didn't follow through and enroll, she would only get one chance to say goodbye. If he stayed, she wouldn't miss the chance to learn his name.

[nojanath]

Capell kept up his stiff demeanor as he walked about with the Warder, moving about with as professional an air as he could, not quite knowing what to do when the Wader broke the act, or the manner, and gave him advice on his personnel life. He held composure, but he had no idea really how to react besides nodding stiffly and continuing on. This was how he had acting most of the time, giving concise reactions and acting like he believed a grunt would act. It seemed to do him well, as the Wader let up on him nearly at an instant, so he went through the motions as well he could.

However, after it was all done, he just felt tired. Tired that he already felt tired and he had done nothing but walk around and be told how much his life will be out of his hands. Tired that this was to be his life now. Tired that he had no actual ability to shift in one direction or the other without becoming a deserter. He wasn't sure how desertion was dealt with here, as he could imagine it being both not as bad and worse than how a typical military would deal with it. Yet, why would he desert? His only point by now was to fulfill the dreams of his brother and father. Capell was boring, he had no drive, how was it fair that he was alive. If for whatever reason he did desert he didn't have any real excuse to keep living. At that point his only choice would be to die and explain his poor choices to his disappointed family. Admittedly, if that was how the Wheel worked, it would be nice to see his mother after so long, nevertheless his brother, father, and grandparents. But then he would live an existence of shame and forfeit. Not that he wasn't already, he idly thought as memories of how he murdered those bandits. Was it better because they were murderers? He didn't know.

As he walked out of the building and walked around the corner to sit, he felt all of the tension he built to keep that stiff posture drain out of him. It made him feel vulnerable, and alone, and afraid. But he kept that to himself, like always. What proper Warder, or Drin, or whatever he was now, would break down and cry? A poor one. Stupid questions have simple answers. For all intents and purposes this was his home now. Capell made sure to bury his brother and father near his mother's plot behind the house, but he left those...people who attacked them to rot. One of them in the room grew up, spouting blood. He felt a bit sick just thinking about it, but he stifled that too, and just leaned back against the wall and stared at the space in front of him, not really focusing on anything. He was sure that the issues would fade, so in the mean time, he just had to put them off until, until sometime. He didn't know. Capell sighed through his teeth in frustration, with a tinge of anger. He'd make it through, one way or another.