A Meeting (Attn: Avyra)

[Paradoxical]

What was he looking for again. He had been so focused on Avrya that he had totally lost track of what he had been going to do before. He had been coming to the Library he knew but what for. Books obviously but on what? Quickly he racked his brains. What had he been hunting on. Battleweaves. That was it. He had been hunting on books about Battleweaves. He nearly laughed out loud at the irony of it. He had been thinking how dangerous it was of her to be studying Battleweaves and yet here he was looking for books on them himself.

"Actually I was looking for books on Battleweaves." He said, smiling slightly. He didn't intend to try any of them but it would be good to have a look at them before he took a class on them, if he ever reached the stage where they would let him take on. A stage which seemed so distant to him.

It would be good to reach the stage where he could choose is his own areas of study. By then he would also be able to channel at will, hopefully, and would probably be allowed to channel unsupervised. Basically he had to reach the rank of Dedicated.

[Avyra]

"Actually I was looking for books on Battleweaves," he replied with a smile. Avyra gave him a flat look. Of course he was. Everyone thought that once they picked up battleweaves that they'd suddenly be wanted and appreciated around here, didn't they? Avyra thought that at one point, too. "I'm not sure about how good books are for male channeling," Avyra said, making her way down the shelves, making sure her taller friend was following. "But all the battleweaves stuff is... over here... somewhere..." She slowed down, reading the signs on each section. "Oh, here it is." She led the way down the section, looking back to him. "They've got... just battleweaves, specific stuff, stuff like that." She shrugged.

[Paradoxical]

Her look made him think again. Was he beginning foolish in search out books on weapons. Possibly. Possibly not. I was a valid area of learning, just a highly dangerous one to study. I wasn't an area in which you would want to make a mistake. Yet he knew in his heart that even if he didn't take any books today he would eventually return to find them again. It was all because of that night. He had killed that man and now he felt the need to learn the weave which he had used to do the deed. It felt right to learn those weaves. Even if it were just to remember the man he had killed.

He realised with a start that his smile has slipped from his face to be replaced with the hard, cold expression often used when finalising business deals for his father. Quickly he resumed his smile and looked down at a book. It appeared to be good enough for his purposes. He smiled at her as he lifted it and opened it to the first page. It was defiantly a general book but it would do. He kept looking along the shelve to see if their were others.

[Avyra]

Avyra, too, was looking around for books, mainly on the lower shelves, lost in her own thoughts. If she knew it was pointless, then why was she still looking for battleweaves? She knew, deep inside, she would never be of any help to anyone, not as a learning rank of Aes Sedai. Why was she still here, if not to fail? Was there something else pulling her? Fate, maybe? No, that was stupid. She wasn't that important. She looked back over at Lanian. His face was now... hard. Distant as he searched the shelf for his own book. He found one, pulling it off the shelf, looking back at her with a forced smile. She resumed her search, this time stepping back from the shelf and lifting up on her toes to see the top of the shelf. "What's the matter?" she asked, finding a book she could use. But she couldn't channel to get it down, and the shelf was too tall for her to reach. She set her jaw in annoyance. "You seem troubled by something." Avyra walked up to the shelf, considering her options, then jumped up in a failed attempt to grab what she wanted. She tried again, with no luck.

[Paradoxical]

Lanian watched her jump while he considered his answer. Carefully he reached out and plucked the book she had been trying to get from the shelf and handed it down to her. Then said "I was just thinking about why I want to learn about battleweaves." Would that be enough to satisfy her curiosity, probably not. He could always lie about his reasons but that might come back to bite him and anyway Novices and Soldiers were meant to follow the oaths at all times.

"A bolt of lightning was the first thing I ever did by channelling and ever since I've wanted to learn more about what I did that night." It wasn't quiet the whole truth but it was as much as he was willing to share with someone who was in effect a complete stranger. He turned his attention back to the shelves and continued looking along them hunting on more books on battleweaves, ones which might provide some more in-depth information on them rather than the general overview like the book he held in his hand. There didn't look to be many that even offered the possibility of more depth. most likely the Browns had taken them out to stop the learning ranks from trying to use them to learn battleweaves. An irritation but one which made sense.

[Avyra]

Avyra sighed when he had to hand her the book. Pathedic. She couldn't even reach a book off a high shelf. What made her think she could do dangerous battleweaves? "I was just thinking about why I want to learn about battleweaves." He paused. "A bolt of lightning was the first thing I ever did by channelling and ever since I've wanted to learn more about what I did that night." Avyra watched him carefully, then nodded. It didn't sound like it was the entire story. "You killed someone, didn't you?" There was no accusation in her voice. Just understanding. "I almost burned down my house, and I completely alienated my father. Nothing could hurt worse." She sighed. "I split my family apart." The Power was so dangerous, for all of them.

[Paradoxical]

Lanian started when she spoke in that calm voice. His face lost all emotion and became as hard and as cold as stone. She might claim to understand it but she didn't. You couldn't understand what it was like until you did it. Ripping your family was one thing but killing someone was another. At least if you ripped your family apart then they were still alive. As much as it might hurt you could at least reassure yourself that they were alive and probably nu-hurt. Killing somebody was different. You knew that no matter what you did there was nothing that could bring them back shy of the Dark One himself and that was a line no sane person would ever cross.

"Blasted him right out of existence, or just about. My only real memory of that night is the look on his face in the split interest before he was blasted to dust. It was a look of pure horror and terror." He said. He still remembered that face, even now. For sometime after the incident it had appeared in his dreams but then it had faded as the incident had past. But recently, once he had realised that he had killed the man, it had started appearing again and again, every night without fail. There was nothing he could do about it. Just relive the moment when the bolt of lightning arched down from the sky and struck him into oblivion. When he thought back to that moment everything seemed to go in slow motion. He could see everything in painstaking detail. He shivered at the thought.

[Avyra]

She watched him, seeing everything. Seeing the pain in his eyes; the way his entire form tensed up. How much regret the man held for that night.

"I'm sorry. It wasn't your fault." Avyra gently took his hand. "You didn't know what you were doing. It is admirable to want to learn further about what happened, and never let it happen again."

She had heard of such things happening. Those who didn't know they could channel accidentally taking a life or even worse. In her mind, that was why the Aes Sedai, Asha'man, and the One Power were feared. Because people had been hurt by those who didn't know what they were doing.

Avyra wished to make things right, but she didn't know how. She didn't want to see the pain in his gaze anymore. He didn't deserve it. He seemed like a nice enough person, and he didn't deserve the pain he felt. It wasn't his fault, even if a life had been taken.