When the World's Walls Wrap Around You [attn: Bella/Andra]

Welcome to the Gardens: one of the most tranquil areas of the Tower Grounds.
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Welcome to the Gardens: one of the most tranquil areas of the Tower Grounds. Birds sing in the trees which line the wide paths between beautiful flower beds and serene lakes. There are benches to sit and listen to the waterfall, and there is neatly trimmed grass to lie on and rest. Novices and Soldiers as well as Warders in Training can be seen, sweeping the stone paths as Accepted and Dedicated study from books and relax under leafy trees.
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Roan
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When the World's Walls Wrap Around You [attn: Bella/Andra]

Post by Roan » February 24th, 2018, 11:10 pm

Paks Liard
The private room in the infirmary was a bit bigger, but not quite as ‘cozy’ as her quarters in the Warder Hall. Bigger it may be, but the four walls still seemed to be closing in on her. It was why she requested a chance to get out and go for a walk in the Gardens since the weather was warming up. The person who delivered her meal passed the request along to one of the Yellows, and a Gaidin and Aes Sedai arrived to escort her on her walk.

Paks was surprised that Zarayne Sedai wasn’t the one to accompany her given how invested she seemed to be in assisting Paks on her road to recovery. The Ji’val appreciated the Aes Sedai was trying to help and doing her job as a member of the Yellow, but what she was going through wasn’t going to be fixed by talking to a random person. And while Time was said to heal all wounds, the Ji’val doubted time would repair the hole within her soul.

When the trio reached the Gardens, the Aes Sedai and Gaidin were right on her heals. Paks stopped and faced the pair, “Look, I know you have to keep an eye on me, but could you give me a bit of space?” The pair exchanged a look between each other but both motioned for her to carry on. She continued along the path, looking over her shoulder after a bit and felt a sense of relief as the pair were about twenty feet or so back.

Memories of time spent with Jesi walking through the Gardens came flooding back to her and she moved a hand to her chest, grabbing at the fabric of her shirt. The Ji’val was having second thoughts about her idea to get a bit of fresh air, though she moved to a nearby bench and sat down, looking out over the lake.

’You won’t always have me’ Paks remembered telling Jesi.

‘I will so always have you!’ the Accepted countered, her speech slurred from the amount of mead she’d consumed. Her hands found their way into Paks’ hair as her dark brown eyes burrowed into Paks’s own blue ones, ‘Are you willing to pull my sorry, stupid backside out of trouble forever, Paks? Because if you say yes, I will bond you right here, right now.


So many emotions came welling up to the surface. Paks leaned forward, placing her elbows on her knees as she rubbed her hands together. She stared out across the lake without really seeing anything. Not too far from where she sat, she and Jesi shared an intimate evening before both were pulled away to face their raising tests.

Everywhere she looked, something reminded her of Jesi. The Ji’val felt as if the world was closing in on her. All she wanted to do was run away, yet she couldn’t move.
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Bella
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Re: When the World's Walls Wrap Around You [attn: Bella/Andra]

Post by Bella » February 27th, 2018, 3:52 am

Andraste had been spending a great deal of time outside of the Tower walls of late. It seemed there was no shortage of things to be done, as an Aes Sedai of the Grey Tower and of the Red Ajah, but that was fine by her. She liked to be kept busy. She liked to feel useful. But it was nice when she did come home, since home this had long been, and got to enjoy these moments.

She was walking through the Gardens to enjoy the beautiful weather in such a beautiful place. Many thoughts rolled lazily through her mind, but it didn't stop her from taking in her surroundings.

That was how she was able to see the woman sitting on the bench, and the two standing not that far behind her. The sets of their bodies and the way their gazes kept moving to the woman told the Red that they were there because of her. They were watching this woman, although Andra wasn't sure why.

When she looked at the woman, however, there was something else all together. A feeling of...familiarity shot through her. She flashed back to nights when she'd snuck out of her room and slept within the roots of a tree when she missed Belenus and Chandra so badly, it caused her physical pain.

She approached the other woman slowly. "Are you alright?" she asked gently.

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Re: When the World's Walls Wrap Around You [attn: Bella/Andra]

Post by Roan » March 3rd, 2018, 8:18 pm

Paks Liard
So consumed was she that Paks didn’t even hear the woman approach, and hearing the woman speak startled her. So much for being the observant Ji’val, Paks, she chided herself. There was no real way to play off the fact that she’d been caught off guard and startled, and Paks was in no head space to try and play it off. “I . . . heh, that is a complicated question to answer. Generally speaking, no.”

Looking over her shoulder, Paks saw the Yellow and her Gaidin take a step forward, and she shot them such a look as they stopped mid-stride and turned away from her. Letting go a weary breath, the Ji’val shook her head, “I can’t imagine the trials and tribulations of a stranger are enough to pull you away from enjoying such a beautiful day, though. I . . . I appreciate the inquiry.”

Leaning back against the bench, Paks ran a hand through her short hair and looked back over the lake. After a moment or two, she looked back to the woman, who hadn’t moved. She had a feeling the woman wasn’t going to leave, and wondered if one of the Yellows sent her to check in on the Ji’val. She studied the woman for a moment or two, and then motioned to the bench, “Or you can join me.”
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Re: When the World's Walls Wrap Around You [attn: Bella/Andra]

Post by Bella » March 7th, 2018, 9:16 pm

The trainee's answer confirmed half of Andra's suspicions, and she chose to linger for a moment. She would try to figure out what the other needed more, company or solitude, since everyone grieved differently. And at different times. There was occasion where Andra had needed to be alone, and others where she craved the presence of other human beings. It seemed to have no explanation for how or why it changed. It just...was.

"For a moment," Andra said, a promise that she would not stay long past her welcome. She brushed her skirt over her hips as she sat down. The day was indeed beautiful, but she knew all too well what it was like to be in so much heart-pain that you couldn't enjoy it.

The Red let things be quiet for a moment as she curved her tan-skinned hands around the edge of the bench and leaned forward a little, not intruding on Paks's space. "I won't bother you long," she said softly, "but you looked familiar." She paused and glanced sidelong at the other woman. Although she was Ji'val, she didn't look much away from Andra's age, she noticed. "I don't know you, but your look and demeanor are familiar. Painfully familiar."

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Re: When the World's Walls Wrap Around You [attn: Bella/Andra]

Post by Roan » March 7th, 2018, 10:41 pm

Paks Liard
The Ji’val watched as the Red sit, but then look back across the Garden. If she’d truly wanted solitude, she could have stayed in her room in the infirmary. There was no way to not run into people out on the Tower Grounds, but she at least hoped not to run into anyone she knew. If she truly wanted to be alone, she wouldn’t have offered to let the woman join her.

Everything was a jumble in the Ji’val’s head. What did she really want? Did it even matter any more? Marten told her she needed to fight to survive. . .to promise him she would fight to survive and not give into the temptation of just giving up. Part of her couldn’t help but wonder what the point of it all was. . .her life seemed so empty and meaningless before she found Jesi. Now that Jesi was gone? Well, it redefined emptiness for the Ji’val.

Paks almost missed what the woman next to her was saying because she was so lost in her own random jumbled thoughts.

. . .your look and demeanor are familiar. Painfully familiar.

To this, Paks looked back to the woman sitting next to her, studying her for several moments before finally asking, “How so?”
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Re: When the World's Walls Wrap Around You [attn: Bella/Andra]

Post by Bella » March 10th, 2018, 12:31 am

Andra said nothing as the Ji'val lapsed into quietude. It was just another thing that was all too familiar to the Red, and as Paks fell off into memories and thoughts, so did Andra...

She thought back to the many happy memories she had with her beloved; memories that she could recall now without them causing her so much pain and grief as they once had. She could recall Belenus and his dancing, and Chandra and her cooking. The way they had all fit together, curving around one another in the blankets of their wagon.

Crowded. Overheated. Safe. Loved.

"How so?"

Andra turned her head back and smiled sadly. "Unless I miss my guess... Someone you loved very much has died, and recently."

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Re: When the World's Walls Wrap Around You [attn: Bella/Andra]

Post by Roan » March 11th, 2018, 1:20 am

Paks
There was no real reason for it, but Paks felt her heart skip a beat. She may have even pailed a bit as the woman guessed she’d lost Jesi. She studied the woman for several seconds before looking out over the lake as she let go a deep sigh. “I lost my love and my bondmate at the hands of a Darkfriend.”

The Ji’val rubbed her hands together slowly as memories of Jesi’s smile and laughter came back to her. If she’d been there, the two of them would likely have found a thick copse of trees to disappear behind for a bit of fun. Nodding to the Yellow and her Warder, Paks continued, “They’re here to make sure I don’t do something stupid like jump in the lake and not come back up. They don’t trust me to be on my own.”

Paks frowned as she looked back over the lake, “How did you know?”
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Re: When the World's Walls Wrap Around You [attn: Bella/Andra]

Post by Bella » March 14th, 2018, 12:00 am

The only grace that Andraste could claim, if any at all, in the loss of her own beloveds was that she had not been bonded to them by way of the One Power. As painful as their deaths had been for her, she could only imagine how much worse it would've been if she had been connected to them that way as well.

She could imagine, but she didn't want to.

Andra joined the other woman in looking out over the lake. She took a long, deep, slow breath, then let it out fully before taking another so she could reply. "Like I said," she began, her voice soft, "you looked familiar."

There was a pause before she went on. "Just before I was brought to the Grey Tower, I lost my husband," she explained, and then added, "and our lover. They died at the hands of a Darkfriend, although I didn't know she was that at the time. I just knew that she murdered them both, right in front of me."

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Re: When the World's Walls Wrap Around You [attn: Bella/Andra]

Post by Roan » March 14th, 2018, 10:51 pm

Paks Liard
Paks looked back to the Aes Sedai sitting next to her and simply stared for several seconds. The woman knew some of Paks’ pain having lost a husband and lover. She’d recognizes Paks’ sense of loss, and both had lost those they loved at the hands of Darkfriends. The Ji’val’s voice cracked slightly as she started to speak, “I’m. . .I’m sorry.” She cleared her throat, “They seem like empty words, really.

“I’ve had so many people tell me they are sorry for my loss. Sorry Jesi’s gone. Sorry for my pain,” she felt an all too familiar knot form at the back of her throat and paused to swallow it back down. She shook her head as she looked back across the lake once more, “I know they mean well, but I don’t want their sympathy or apologies for something they were not at fault for.”

Letting out another heavy sigh, Paks cast a quick glance at her company, “I’m sure you didn’t either. . .want peoples’ apologies. All I want right now is to find the woman who was responsible and send her back to the Pattern. I’m guessing that’s all you wanted at the time too?”

Paks didn’t give the woman a chance to answer, “If it is the last thing I do, I will find Ninya Sedai and end her.” Her voice shook slightly as she spoke, her anger and hurt coming to the surface once more, “She does not deserve to live for what she did to Jesi.”
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Re: When the World's Walls Wrap Around You [attn: Bella/Andra]

Post by Bella » March 19th, 2018, 3:00 pm

Ah... Andra thought. This was that woman.

When returning from the White Tower, everyone had--of course--heard about what had happened here. They knew that the Amyrlin Seat had gone mad, was undoubtedly Shadow-bound, and had killed an Accepted. That another woman, a trainee, had gone mad with her grief. And that Ninya had escaped.

Now, the Red knew who the woman was. And now she understood why. That bit of information had not been wildly known, or circulated as much as the rest. Many things made sense.

"No, she does not," Andra agreed quietly. "Or for what she did the young man who was there, or to any number of people who were undoubtedly hurt by things at her wicked hands. You are speaking to a Red, after all, and our courses are quite set for her." She glanced sidelong at the woman. "It's not a hunt you should undertake alone."

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