I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues

[Matty]

Monsieur Brawn It hadn't taken Nate long to get out of the formalities and rigmarole that came with being a new member of the Blue Ajah. He picked p the Ajah specific weaves as quickly and patiently as he could, but as soon as they took one eye off him, the man had taken it upon himself to head to the Blightborder. To Mayene. To Arad Doman. Wherever he was needed, he went, and he made but token visits to the Tower. Mostly for Bell's sake, as he didn't want the man to think his brother had deserted him. Why, the Arafellin came along for a number of his excursions, able to come and go fairly easily thanks to the useful Gateways Nate could make for him.

But when it came down to it Nate did have to answer to a fair few people, so when he received a message that he was to return to the Tower for a review with some of the other Blues who had been Raised about the same time, the man was unable to ignore it as much as he might want to. He had more important things to be doing than sitting around talking about these missions and whatnot. He joined the Blue Ajah in order to make a difference and actually do things... though he was not the first headstrong Blue they accepted into the Ajah, nor would he be the last.

Back from a trip to Ghealdan with a bad taste in his mouth, Nate spent the morning washing and making himself presentable. His beard was trimmed to neatness, and he had a good long bath to get rid of the grime and mud and dirt that seemed to follow him wherever he went. His hair was what took the longest to wash, and had he more time before the meeting he would have gone to get it cut shorter. As it was he gave it a good wash and tied it up as best he could, the ponytail thick and not quite getting all the hairs. With a clean Asha'man uniform on - the coat open, a dark blue shirt not quite buttoned up beneath - he almost looked respectable. The temptation to meet up with Bells and prove he knew how to dress properly(ish) was strong, but the man refrained. One thing he did do though, was take along his warhammer, which he gave a quick clean as well. It was a part of who he was, like his hair. And if it made a statement then so be it.

There were four other Blues already present when Nate entered the meeting room, and he looked them over with a neutral gaze. Two Asha'man and two Aes Sedai, all of which had been Raised about the same time as him. Their discussion, quiet and energetic, took a pause as they collectively turned to look Nate's way. The Mayener put on a smile. "Hey," he said as he took a chair with no back to it so he didn't have to worry about removing the hammer. He sat down heavily, elbows on the table, and grinned at the sight of a plate of small cakes. Excellent. "How's things? Not seen any of you for a while!" he said, ever his friendly self as he helped himself to some cake.

"Oh, you know, traversing the ever changing political climate of Cairhien!" said one of the Asha'man, a lilting fellow with a shock of blond hair. Preechard spoke as if it was obvious what he was up to. One would think he was Cairhienin now, if not for his Borderlander accent and portly stomach.

"Sounds great," Nate said, trying to be enthusiastic.

"I've been doing some fascinating research with the Browns at an abandoned Portal Stone," said an Aes Sedai. Zelline had a habit of talking when nobody cared two figs, something Nate had forgotten until he heard her voice. "Some of the patterns we have found relate very much to the inscriptions Verana Sedai copied in her own studies."

"Uh huh." Nate got another cake from the plate in front of him.

"I've been at the Grey Tower, assisting the Sitters." Jermaine Sedai was a woman who did more of the Eyes-and-Ears stuff, though Nate didn't care for it himself. He had his connections, sure, but they were much less complicated in nature than some of his Brothers and Sisters. Where was the trouble at and where was Nate needed? Crude and heavy handed, much like his hammer, but it got the job done.

"How about you?" Nate asked the other Asha'man, a man who might have been stocky around anyone who wasn't Nate, with a Taraboner moustache.

"I'm really not at liberty to say!" the man said airly. Lae always was a man with ideas above his station, he was probably watering plants in the Infirmary. Nate just went for another cake and found the plate was empty. "Now tell us about you Nate, I've heard all kinds of things."

"Oh, uh, well I just came back from Ghealdan. There was a village with a merchant overtaxing people and there was an internal power struggle so I went to sort it out. Nobles, right?" he asked with a snort. He was met with four blank looks.

Of course. These people saw one another fairly often, and already had a good idea of what Nate was up to. If anything, they just wanted to hear Nate talk so they could gossip about him afterwards at their next meeting. It was a little sad really. Nate enjoyed arm wrestling Preechard, or listening to Jermaine when they were studying politics together. Those days as a Dedicated were some time ago now. Was he the only one who remembered them?

"Do you not think," Lae said in that light voice of his, "that your habit of visiting villages in peril is going to get you into even more bother?"

"I don't know what you mean," Nate said flatly, giving Lae a stern look across the table.

"Why, Viadulo of course," Lae continued. "We all heard about it you know. Surprised they even let you become an Asha'man. We are safe in here with you, aren't we?" he looked at his fellow Blues with a smirk.

"Oh, you're less and less safe by the flaming minute," Nate growled. "That's my business. Mine and Gareth's."

No matter how much work he did, no matter how hard he tried to help other people, his own past wasn't going to leave him be. Not when he dealt with feckless, foppish idiots like these people who thought sitting around backstabbing one another was going to solve any issues. No, daggers in the dark only did so much. A hard enough blow with a hammer would fix everything. That was something these little nails would never understand. With a disgusted grunt Nate folded his arms and waited for the meeting to begin. He didn't need to explain himself to these people, but the Head of the Blue Ajah, well of course he did.

Thankfully the meeting began shortly after, as the Head of the Ajah made an appearance. Nate did his best to look interested and like he was paying attention, but as he listened to the other new Blues talk about their work, he was bored. What good did any of it do? What was the point in it? And now there were no cakes either. The Mayener tried so very hard to engage with the material, but he didn't. By the time Lae was whittling on about his business, something about merchant trade route algorithms, Nate had zoned out completely and was looking out of the window, cheek against fist, waiting for his turn to speak. Do the Red Ajah do so much flaming talking? he thought to himself. Do the Greens sit around kissing their own asses instead of getting things done? Impatience made him restless, and as a man of action he was itching to leave again.

[Matty]

"Am I boring you, Nathaniel?" asked Lae in an overly innocent tone. Nate grunted and sat up, turning to look back at the group of Blues all looking at him.

"Ugh, yeah. This is ridiculous!" Nate made an exasperated noise, "why are we sitting and patting ourselves on the back when we have so much out there that needs doing? While you guys have been pissing around with whatever boring meaningless crap it is you do, I've been travelling the world. I've been to almost every nation in the civilised land, helping where I can. Fighting the Shadow. Protecting the weak. I've busted underground slavery circuits. I've stopped tyrant leaders from putting people through more misery. I've protecting the Blightborder. I've been in the Blight and done my part there as well. I make a difference. And what do you lot do? A load of bitching in Cairhien, stare at some dumb-ass rocks with pictures on, and... and I don't even care what you two do, it sounded boring even when you tried to make it sound important."

Nate got to his feet, "I might be young for an Asha'man, but I know what I'm doing is right, and I'm not gonna stop that just because some cowardly, petty, selfish Blues doing their own thing think that I'm stupid, or wasting my time, or less than them."

"Nathaniel, sweetie, it's all true!" Lae insisted. "You're as selfish as any of us. Going where you please, never committing to anything for longer than you want to. You might as well be a Green for how little thought you put into what you do."

"Lae. Sweetie." Nate leaned in with a hand resting on the table, "since Viadulo I've become a lot easier to piss off. Don't push it." Nate then bowed his head to the Head of the Blue Ajah, "I'm sorry for wasting your time. I'm going to go get some fresh air and then we can book some time together in the near future to talk one on one?" The Blue could see nothing more than mild irritation on the Head's face, and Nate knew he was going to be in trouble. Maybe I should just Gateway back the way I came. Much easier than this idiocy. But as it was he left the room and went to find some practice dummies to smack around with his hammer.

-----

There was going to be a storm. Nate leaned against the wall of the Ajah halls, looking out the window. The sun was shining, there were no clouds to be seen, but there was a storm coming. And Nate wasn't sure he was going to be ready for it, as it coincided nicely with his rearranged meeting with the Head of the Blue Ajah.

[Roan]

Tia Sedai

As Mistress of Novices, Tia’s schedule wasn’t quite her own, but she did make sure to set aside time to visit with those nearest and dearest to her. . .namely, family. Sadira Sedai had helped Tia when she’d been a Novice, though Tia nearly blew up her Aunt’s quarters in the process. Fortunately, her aunt didn’t seem too put out by the experience and casually put out the fire. Since then, and especially since Tia earned the Shawl, she tried to visit with her aunt regularly.

After her visit, Tia made her way through the halls of the Blue Ajah. As she approached what would be her exit, she saw a rather broad man leaning against the wall, looking out the window. Drawing closer, she realized she recognized him, though he seemed too lost in his own world to even notice her.

Giving a soft laugh, Tia came to stand in front of him and folded her arms, “Still a daydreamer, Nate?”

[Matty]

Nate ought to probably move from where he was stood, lest people think he was brooding. Whether or not that was accurate... well, Nate didn't really care for what people thought but he didn't see any reason to give them more ammunition to comment on his business. He just couldn't shake that feeling of thunder about to strike, but alas there was precious little he could do about it.

When Tia stood in front of him he didn't really register her at first. He wasn't a Warder and he wasn't in surveillance mode so it was only when she spoke up that he grunted and looked down at her, unfolding his arms. Tia had always been nice enough to him and he was surprised when she became Mistress of Novices, but that wasn't for him to judge. As long as she was happy. "Tia, good to see you." An easy grin crossed his face, "something like that. I don't get a lot of time to dream at the moment, I guess I was catching up while I could." He didn't hold the grin long, and the smile never met his eyes. He was still irate, and now his adrenaline was ebbing away he was also very aware that he could be in a heap of trouble with the Blue Ajah as a whole. Which was utterly ridiculous given how much work he did for them around the land, but... he'd put his foot in it. What was that Cairhienin saying, take what you want and pay for it? Nate said his piece, now he'd have to stand by it, and that could well mean being cut down to size by more experienced peers. It didn't sit well with him but that was the way of things.

It was good to see Tia, a Green rather than another bloody Blue with another bloody smug smirk on their bastard face. "I've got a meeting with my Head of Ajah in a while but no plans until then. Wanna take a walk?" He gestured ahead, "get out of these quarters and take a turn somewhere else. I'm kind of over the colour blue right now." He was glad to turn away from the window and his own thoughts to talk about something else and be distracted for a little while. Maybe he could get some cake as well.

The pair of them set off, Nate keeping a slow pace with his long legs, shoving his thumbs into his belt and trying to look relaxed rather than slovenly when next to the collected little Aes Sedai. "So, how's things been Tia? Enjoying being a Green? And Mistress of Novices too, how's that been for you so far? I dunno if I could do that job, I think I'd end up banging a lot of boy's heads together and losing my patience with them all." Nate gave a low chuckle, "I'm sure you do a better job than me."

[Roan]

Tia Sedai

Nate’s comment about his Ajah was not lost on her, but Tia let it slide for the moment, focusing on his questions to her instead. She laughed softly at the thought of Nate knocking heads together and shook her head, “No offense, but I don’t think you’d be well suited to be Master of Soldiers. Truth be told, I have no idea how I do as Mistress of Novices.

“It is not a position I would have sought for myself, but the Amyrlin put my name forward, and when such a thing happens, it is not wise to say no. It is not so bad, though. Most of the girls are the good sort, with a handful who could use a swift kick to the arse at the very least,” she explained as the pair walked along the corridor before exiting the halls.

Tia looked sidelong at the Asha’man, and studied him with a somewhat critical eye, “Did I hear you right, that you are over the color blue? Is the honeymoon with the Ajah over then?” She made sure not to ask the question until they were out of the hall and out of earshot of anyone who might think to listen in.

Politics was not a game Tia enjoyed playing, and with politics at the tower came rumors and gossip. She’d done her best not to be one to spread either, and would often speak with her girls about how inappropriate such talk was, though many of her sisters thought otherwise. To them, that was what the eyes and ears were for.

[Matty]

If the Amyrlin thought Tia was the best woman for the job then Nate would just have to trust her on that. Women's business was women's business after all, and he knew enough about the fairer sex to know that getting in the way of what they wanted was generally ill-advised. He would do as the M'Hael told him, and hopefully that would never involve looking after Soldiers. Some of them needed a boot up the arse and it wasn't his responsibility to administer such. "Don't worry Tia, it'd take more than the truth to offend me. Call a rock a rock." He smiled briefly.

They were out of the Blue Ajah quarters, heading through the Green by the time Tia posed her question. There were no ears nearby that Nate could see, she chose her timing well, but he did look around before giving his response. "It's just a bit frustrating sometimes, that's all. Lots of busy bodies talking about what they are up to instead of just doing it. I don't know if this is because I'm a new Asha'man or if it's just... what the Blues do."

He didn't want to slate his Ajah, he chose it for a reason after all, but it was difficult to not just think "burn this" and become a Green so he could set everything alight with his lightning. "The Blue Ajah attracts such a broad spectrum of people, and half the time when we're in a group I don't feel like I should be there. There's some Blues that don't visit the Tower much, and that's great, but I'm not at a point where I can go away for any real length of time without the Head crooking his finger for me to come back." Nate made a bemused noise, then fell quiet as a Green passed them by. He nodded his head and turned so she could pass without bumping into him. When she was gone he continued, "really the Blue Ajah was the best one to facilitate what I want to do. The colour shouldn't be relevant, the fact that I'm an Asha'man doing the right thing should be. But it's not, within these walls." He put a hand out to brush his fingers along the edge of a tapestry, depicting some sort of scene of battle. Nate wasn't a Green, but there was something to be said for what they did. There was no fluff involved, just fighting the good fight. Not complex or varied enough for his liking, but he could certainly see the appeal.

"Do you ever feel that way about the Green Ajah? Or are they a bit more permissive with what you can do?" Nate was pretty sure that different Ajah heads treated their channellers differently, and perhaps he had just drawn the short straw.

[Roan]

Tia

Tia shrugged a bit, “The Green gives me as much leeway as any young Aes Sedai. We aren’t so motivated by politics. While we prepare for the last battle, we fight Shadow where we find it. I’ve gone out to the Citadel quite a few times, though now that I’m Mistress of Novices, the Amyrlin has asked me to reduce my excursions to the Blight Border.”

The Green Sister cast a sidelong look to Nate, “The Captain General gives me leave to do what I think is best for the Ajah and me, but then. . .she is my great great grandmother.” She paused as a pair of Accepted walked by, “The Blue concerns itself with Justice, but the meaning of Justice could be subjective. I wonder if your Brothers are Sisters could be looking for insight or a different perspective by sharing what it is they are up to. Or perhaps they are just sharing to show off how great they think they are.” With her last comment, Tia flashed a wry smile.

[Matty]

Nate didn't need telling what his own Ajah was all about, and the correction was close to being made vocal - a sign that the man was truly not his usual easygoing self. Tia was only offering her insight, and he had sort of asked for it, so he would be bloody grateful to have it. "Must be nice to have important family," he muttered instead, a little weary of every other person he came across being related to the Captain General in some fashion.

"I think they're talking out of their arses," Nate said matter of factly, though he did wait until they were alone to give that assessment. "What we do is different, and that's fine, but I don't act like I'm better because of it. Even if it's true. I'm actually making a difference, they're just... posturing and preening about how great they are. What's the point in sitting and talking about what we're doing when instead we could just go out and do it?"

The Blue grunted and paused in his walking, leaning against the wall and looking down at Tia with his thick arms folded. "I want to fight the Shadow as much as anyone who talks in the Light, but in the end I chose the Blue Ajah for a reason. For me it's about helping those who need it, the old and the young and the sick in places where they need someone to step in and beat down the bad guy. That might be the tax man. It might be a Darkfriend. It could be their neighbour. But people are being exploited and they can't do anything about it, so that's why I'm here. Pansying around in Cairhien prodding at the Game-" Nate huffed. He knew you weren't supposed to actually talk about the Game, but it existed and it wasn't as if Tia was known for being particularly traditional in her ways as an Aes Sedai.

"What good does it do when there's people in the Blightborder being slaughtered?" It was brazen, youthful bloodlust and a naive desire to do the right thing, but it came from a genuine place, and Nate's frustration was palpable. "I'm just gonna head back on out. If they want me to come to a bloody meeting they can come grab me and lend a hand first. The flaming cheek of it."

[Roan]

Tia

Tilting her head, Tia watched Nate as he went on about doing instead of saying, about action over words. He had a point, though Tia also knew nothing was ever so simple as it seemed. “Nate, if going out to the Blightborder and bashing the skulls of the Shadow is what it means to be Blue to you, then by all means do it. I would be careful, though, to judge your Blue Brothers and Sisters so harshly. . .perhaps for them, their ideas of what it is to be Blue and to make a difference are different from you.

“You are impatient with them because they cannot see things from your perspective. Listening to you, I suspect they are perhaps as frustrated with you for similar reasons. I am not a part of your Ajah, and I certainly would never tell you how to go about being a Blue. I would simply tell you to be the best person you can be and do the best you can.

“That is really all any of us can ever do, right? It’s not entirely fair for us to judge those around us without knowing what it is they face every day. I can’t help but wonder if that’s all of what is going on with you, or if perhaps something else has you so hot and bothered under the collar?”

[Matty]

Rather than respond straight away, Nate just huffed and looked out the window, his silence a temporary response. He didn't intend on biting the woman's head off, she had good intentions and she was only trying to help. Nate didn't have to like what he was hearing, but he'd vented to her and now he was getting her perspective. It was only right to listen.

Besides, experience dictated that these uncomfortable moments were normally the ones he ought to pay a little more attention to... and he had to admit that Tia probably had a point. Just because he didn't like hearing it didn't mean it was any less valid. Eventually the man grunted and spoke up with a somewhat calmer, rueful voice. "I think the other Ajahs tend to have more in common than the Blue. It's hard to put a blanket over everything we do... and what works for one doesn't work for another."

He might be impatient with the other Blues, but he didn't have to get along with them, or necessarily appreciate what they were doing. Nate had his own business to tend to, and they had theirs. It was actually quite sensible to expect them to not always mix, and to go and do their own thing. Nate gave Tia a toothy grin, "it doesn't matter if I don't get what they're doing. I'm not a Blue for the same reason, so there's really no point to the meeting with them. And they don't have to get what I do! I can think my way is better, and they can think theirs is. We have our own agendas. I can be the best I can be without them."

Feeling a little better about how his day had panned out, Nate shook himself off and smiled down at Tia, though it was brief. "There's a lot going on. Outside the Tower, I'm so busy at the Blightborder, the pace is nothing like what it is in the Tower. Priorities are different out there, and coming back is always jarring. I should do it more to get used to it, but I like the momentum I have when I'm out there. People need me, and I'm helping them! When I'm here at the Tower I get restless, like... being in a cage." An experience he knew all too well, and he cared not for comparing that experience to how he felt at the Tower. He'd brought a part of Viadulo back with him and he was never going to shake it off, so he may as well embrace it like a new coat. Hazel eyes crinkled a little as he narrowed his eyes out of the window, "I'm going to head back out this evening. I've spent the day here, that's long enough."