A new life, away from the old one. [ATTN: Alianora]

The everyday life of the inhabitants of the Grey Tower. This board is for general daily roleplay around the Tower, in the corridors, rooms and halls that make up most of the building.
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Nani
"The Shadow Rising"
Posts: 167
Joined: September 12th, 2014, 7:32 pm
PC: Athilin Mansarn

Re: A new life, away from the old one. [ATTN: Alianora]

Post by Nani » December 2nd, 2019, 6:00 am

Athilin Mansarn
"Then perhaps I did something wrong during your instructions... Would you...." She paused in what she was saying before she looked at the Aes Sedai carefully. "No... I don't think so. I think my mind may have wandered without knowing it. Perhaps it was the flower I chose... It was a special flower to me from before I came here." Athilin swallowed hard, wiping her eyes again. She breathed deeply again before she exhaled, with as good a grip on her emotions as she was going to get again.

"Picture a flower... imagine that it is me..." She said softly, allowing herself to imagine it again. Choosing a rose bud this time, she unfolded each petal... or tried to. The leaves that held it close despite feeling the sun, but the leaves would not let her go. Would not let her open up the flower and open herself to the One power. There was something holding her leaves closed, holding her ability to channel captive. Despite her trying, it would not free her to the feeling of Saidar. The moment she saw something that wasn't the flower, she dropped it, looking down at her hands. "The leaves that held the flower closed would not open despite trying to surrender myself... I am not sure what I am doing wrong..."
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Alianora
"The Path of Daggers"
Posts: 997
Joined: May 2nd, 2016, 8:32 pm
PC: Liaran Sedai, Blue Ajah
SC: Amaranie Sedai, Indigo Ajah
TC: Kalyan Rihera, Yellow Ajah

Re: A new life, away from the old one. [ATTN: Alianora]

Post by Alianora » December 3rd, 2019, 11:19 pm

Liaran Sedai
Athilin didn't seem to want to talk, which suited Liaran just fine, since she would rather not take time from the novice's lesson for it. The Aes Sedai sat up straight in her chair, dark eyes continuing to watch the girl. Athilin was talking quietly to herself about the flower, much as Liaran had earlier, and the Aes Sedai didn't interrupt her. Instead, she stayed seated and she waited until the girl looked down, wondering out loud what she'd done wrong.

You do remember what I told you earlier?" Liaran asked. "Saidar cannot be forced. You are not trying to make the petals open, but should instead be willing to allow it to happen. Try it again, and this time, let the warmth of the sun on your petals encourage your flower to bloom."

Liaran could see that the novice was genuinely trying to follow her instructions, but she never did manage to reach saidar that day. The next few lessons went similarly, and Liaran began to reconsider her approach. The rosebud imagery worked for most girls, but clearly was not right for Athilin. The evening before their next lesson found Liaran in the library, sorting through books of novice exercises for any that might be more effective for her student. By the time she'd finished, she had a decent stack of books assembled, and she carried them all back to her study.

When Athilin arrived the next day, the pile awaited them on her desk. Dressed as she had been in every other class, Liaran smiled at the novice as she welcomed her inside. "We're going to try something else today, Athilin," she said as they walked towards her study. "You've been struggling with the rosebud exercise, and there is nothing wrong with that. I never did well with it either."

Once they entered the room, Liaran sat down in her usual chair. Waving a hand at the books she'd collected, she said, "There are plenty of other exercises that can be used to embrace saidar, but before we try one, I'd like to have an idea of what might work for you. Could you tell me a little about yourself? What do you like, what do you dislike...anything that is meaningful to you. I think it will be easier for you if we can find something you relate to better than the flower."

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Nani
"The Shadow Rising"
Posts: 167
Joined: September 12th, 2014, 7:32 pm
PC: Athilin Mansarn

Re: A new life, away from the old one. [ATTN: Alianora]

Post by Nani » December 17th, 2019, 1:15 am

Athilin Mansarn
Nothing was working despite what they were trying to do. Every session was met with frustrations and near heartbreak every time she was unable to do the simplest of tasks to touch the One Power. Despite knowing that she shouldn't concern herself or compare herself to others, it was still difficult not to compare her lack of ability to do something so simple with the other Novices that were the same as she was.

Athilin almost didn't want to continue her lessons with the One Power, but her mother didn't raise a quitter, and it made her know that she wouldn't be quitting anytime soon. She arrived on time, with a small smile on her face as she knocked on the door. She walked behind the Aes Sedai to her study, and glanced at the pile of books on her desk before she sat on the edge of the seat across from the Aes Sedai.

"What I like, dislike or is meaningful to me?" Her eyebrows pulled in and she considered what to say. "I have enjoyed games of strategy, I don't much care for liars, nor do I really like flowers. I am a practical kind of woman." She replied, her hands folded on her lap, fingers twisting a little bit as she thought. "I have enjoyed painting in the past, but I can't say I have had the money nor the time to continue the hobby in recent years."
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Alianora
"The Path of Daggers"
Posts: 997
Joined: May 2nd, 2016, 8:32 pm
PC: Liaran Sedai, Blue Ajah
SC: Amaranie Sedai, Indigo Ajah
TC: Kalyan Rihera, Yellow Ajah

Re: A new life, away from the old one. [ATTN: Alianora]

Post by Alianora » December 17th, 2019, 11:07 pm

Liaran Sedai
Liaran listened, and then she began to think about Athilin's answers to the question. She gazed at the books on her desk while she did this, not wanting to make her student uncomfortable by appearing to stare at her. She'd already read through them all, some more carefully than others, and none of the exercises they described had stood out to her as being potentially useful for Athilin. That didn't mean she wouldn't try them, but the books were not where she wanted to begin for this lesson. The Aes Sedai turned away from them as she made that decision, looking down at her hands as she considered how to use the information the novice had given her to help her reach the One Power.

What Liaran eventually came up with was something she'd never before tried, a twist on the traditional methods taught to novices. The Aes Sedai had no idea whether it would actually work, but she knew there was only one way to find out. She lifted her head to look at the novice sitting across from her.

"I want you to try something a bit different, Athilin," Liaran instructed her. "Go ahead and close your eyes, and imagine that there is a large piece of canvas in front of you, waiting to be filled. See yourself creating whatever image appeals to you most, and as you keep working, allow yourself to be drawn in. The painting is representative of you, as if it were a part of you. You focus on your task, and as you paint your picture, the separation between you and the painting fades away. You are the canvas, and as you fill it with color, the brightness of saidar flows into you."

She spoke quietly, as focused on the girl as she'd told Athilin to be on her words. After so many failed attempts, Liaran hardly dared to hope that this would be the one that worked, but she did. Athilin might be struggling, but Liaran wasn't going to give up on her.

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Nani
"The Shadow Rising"
Posts: 167
Joined: September 12th, 2014, 7:32 pm
PC: Athilin Mansarn

Re: A new life, away from the old one. [ATTN: Alianora]

Post by Nani » January 6th, 2020, 6:49 pm

Athilin Mansarn
The idea of using painting a canvas to access the Power was interesting. It was certainly closer to her then using a flower was, and hopefully wouldn't result in her seeing or hearing thigns she shouldn't. Her mind was playing all sorts of tricks on her, she was sure, every time they tried these excercises. She swallowed and nodded, closing her eyes, imagining a large canvas in front of her. Below the canvas was a large array of paints and colours.

It was colourful, or as colourful as the Plane of Lances ever was, and as she started to paint the military movements onto the canvas, the colours started to fade to grey. She was no longer painting, but sitting on the planes, watching the shift of military forces across the area. It was colourful, but as she inhaled, and reached out, everything went grayscale.

She knew that had been wrong. She was meant to become one with the canvas, not find herself back in a memory. She cleared her mind, brought forward the blank canvas again, and tried again. This time, painting The White Tower Inn her parents ran in Ravinda. This was siginificantly more successful, and she reached out, feeling the warmth and she went to open the door and allow saidar to flow through her, the door was locked. But at least it was all still in colour. She kept trying the door, oonly to see a figure in the window that robbed the entire scene of colour.

She opened her eyes and looked at the Aes Sedai. "Well that was more successful then before..." She said, hand clasped tight. She shared the image and what had happened with the scenario with the Aes Sedai, waiting for her feedback in regards what to do or to try again.
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Alianora
"The Path of Daggers"
Posts: 997
Joined: May 2nd, 2016, 8:32 pm
PC: Liaran Sedai, Blue Ajah
SC: Amaranie Sedai, Indigo Ajah
TC: Kalyan Rihera, Yellow Ajah

Re: A new life, away from the old one. [ATTN: Alianora]

Post by Alianora » January 8th, 2020, 11:28 pm

Liaran Sedai
Liaran sat quietly in her chair, thinking about what Athilin had described. That she'd felt more successful was encouraging to the Aes Sedai, suggesting that she was perhaps finally beginning to steer them in the right direction. Still, something about what the novice had pictured seemed off somehow, and Liaran wanted to identify that something before saying anything to her student. Her gaze drifted to a spot on the wall above the novice's head as she thought.

She saw a locked door, one she couldn't get to open....there shouldn't have been any barriers in what she chose to imagine.... The image of the door reminded Liaran of her own struggles as a novice, and she closed her eyes as she thought back to that time. Even when she'd finally given in and begun to put effort into her lessons, nothing she'd done had allowed her to reach saidar until one of her instructors had worked out her block and forced her into breaking it.

Liaran blinked, and her eyes stayed open, looking at the novice again. Could Athilin have a block? That was certainly possible, but at the same time, rare enough that she hadn't previously considered it. Didn't she say during our first class that she had used the One Power before? She was sure she remembered that, because it was an unusual claim for a novice to make.

The thoughts ran through her mind as she continued to study the novice. "I'm glad you've found more success with this, Athilin," she said with a smile. "Why don't you try it again? Perhaps without doors that can lock this time?"

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Nani
"The Shadow Rising"
Posts: 167
Joined: September 12th, 2014, 7:32 pm
PC: Athilin Mansarn

Re: A new life, away from the old one. [ATTN: Alianora]

Post by Nani » January 15th, 2020, 6:17 am

Athilin Mansarn
"Without doors... Of course." She replied with a nod. She took a moment, thinking about what she could picture for her connection to the One Power. She frowned a bit before she looked down at her hands again, twisting her fingers together in thought. She wanted to pull another memory from her mind, some time that she had been happy that didn't involve him. She softly inhaled before she exhaled and imagined the canvas again.

Every stroke brought another image to it and she kept herself focused, trying to keep herself in the moment, refuse all other distractions. But when the scene was done, she recognized hereself in the painting, but the other side was black with random looking white strokes. She tried to rub the paint off, trying to push against the black paint, but all it did was smear over into the coloured side.

Her eyes snapped open, and immediately went to her hands, trying to control the well of tears that came to her eyes. She was so frustrated with her inability to do a damn thing that simple as touching the One Power. Once she got control of herself again, she told the Aes Sedai what had happened this time with the black paint spilling over onto the canvas.
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Alianora
"The Path of Daggers"
Posts: 997
Joined: May 2nd, 2016, 8:32 pm
PC: Liaran Sedai, Blue Ajah
SC: Amaranie Sedai, Indigo Ajah
TC: Kalyan Rihera, Yellow Ajah

Re: A new life, away from the old one. [ATTN: Alianora]

Post by Alianora » January 20th, 2020, 9:05 pm

Liaran Sedai
The novice wasn't the only one in the room who was feeling frustrated. Though she did listen, Liaran had no clue what to make of the experience Athilin had just described, nor did she have any idea what to have her student try next. She shook her head as she saw how the girl stared at her own hands, and decided it would be best for them both not to push for a third attempt. That left the Aes Sedai with the question of what she should do, and she tapped her fingers against her knee as she thought about it. If she is blocked, all the novice exercises in the world won't help anything. That much, she knew for a fact, but she knew little else of breaking blocks. Liaran closed her eyes, her face an emotionless blank as she tried to remember what she'd been put through during various attempts to break hers. Enough time had passed that she'd forgotten much of it, and the bits and pieces she could recall were nothing she'd consider subjecting Athilin to.

Liaran opened her eyes again, still thinking. Perhaps we just need to start at the beginning, find out what she knows about her own channeling. It might not help, but the Aes Sedai thought it had to be better than trying more of what had been quite clearly proven not to work. "Athilin," she said softly, "we're going to figure this out, you and I. Whatever the difficulty is for you, it certainly is not due to any lack of effort from you."

Her tone turned serious with her next words. "I remember you telling me during your first lesson that you had used the One Power before. Do you remember what you did? Where you were? What were you doing before that, and how were you feeling? I know it seems like a lot of questions, but this might be the reason you've been struggling, and I need to know everything you can tell me." Liaran folded her hands in her lap, set her eyes on the wall, and waited for an answer.

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Nani
"The Shadow Rising"
Posts: 167
Joined: September 12th, 2014, 7:32 pm
PC: Athilin Mansarn

Re: A new life, away from the old one. [ATTN: Alianora]

Post by Nani » February 7th, 2020, 4:33 am

Athilin Mansarn
There was a small thread of fear as the Aes Sedat's face went blank and thought hard. She was already mentally preparing herself to be told to go home before the Aes Sedai opened her eyes and spoke. But when she said she was going to help her figure this out, relief was such a welcome feeling. She gripped her skirts tight for a moment before she relaxed and breathed a soft sigh.

It was always a relief when people wanted to wwork with you about things that were bothering you and causing you to struggle. She sat further back in the seat, before she thought to what it was that really brought it out of her. "Well Lianran Sedai, I know that I can count only three times where it was a serious problem that I was accessing the One Power. None of them resulted in injury and one even proved to be helpful to a place I was at." Athilin paused, taking a deep breath before she focused again.

"The first time I was at the Plains of Lances just outside of town. The local military uses that area to practice maneuvers there." She continued. "I had gone there because something had made me incredibly sad... But I can't rightly remember what it was. I know I had gotten bad news, and it had... I don't want to say it broke me, otherwise I wouldn't be here. I remember being extremely sad, and I remember being angry. But I don't know what it was fully about. I rended part of the Plains during that time." She swallowed, hands gripped together to keep herself from fidgetting like a child.

"The second time, I caused the fires to flare in my parent's Inn. Someone had offered to play me in a strategy game I was very good at, but they were close to.... someone, or something that made me feel the deepest sadness, and I remember crying but not the reason why I was crying. Emotions got the best of me then, and candles and hearth flared to nearly unmanageable levels, and nearly burned down my parent's Inn. It was after that that I knew I had to go... and The White Tower hasn't had the greatest reputation lately... so I started a few year journey to here."

Athilin paused again, clearing her throat and licking her lips before she spoke of the last one. "The last time it was something more major then a minor flare in candles that brightened them up before letting them dim back down was out at a farm. I was staying there for a bit, teaching them to cook meals before moving on. They had recently lost their wife and mother to disease so needed help learning to cook. but their fields weren't growing and they hadn't seen rain in a very long time. There was a river about a mile out and I ruptured the earth whlie out there enough to redirect some of the river water to the fields to help them. I... remember looking at the water and thinking about how much someone special to me would have loved it, and next thing I can remember, I was on my rear staring a rapidly filling fissure." Athilin stopped, taking time to collect herself and let the Aes Sedai compute everything that she had shared.
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Alianora
"The Path of Daggers"
Posts: 997
Joined: May 2nd, 2016, 8:32 pm
PC: Liaran Sedai, Blue Ajah
SC: Amaranie Sedai, Indigo Ajah
TC: Kalyan Rihera, Yellow Ajah

Re: A new life, away from the old one. [ATTN: Alianora]

Post by Alianora » February 9th, 2020, 10:05 pm

Liaran Sedai
Liaran listened, eyes flickering towards her desk. Her student had all of her attention now, and would as long as she was here, but when Athilin left, Liaran planned to write down everything she could remember of what the novice said. Though it irritated her, she knew she would need to seek help from someone who knew more about working with blocks than she did. She concealed that emotion, blinking as she looked back at Athilin. When the girl finished her explanation, Liaran did not say anything immediately, instead giving her student a brief nod.

She sat up straighter in her chair, dark eyes half closed while she thought through the information she'd just learned. So...at least three times now she's been feeling strong emotions, especially sadness, then reaching out to the One Power. It did sound like Athilin could be blocked, and the Aes Sedai came to the decision that she would need to look into the possibility further.

Liaran's eyes opened again, and she bent her head to meet Athilin's. "So you've been feeling...rather emotional, each time you can remember channeling?" It was more of a comment than an actual question, and Liaran continued speaking. "Athilin, there's a chance that you might have what we call a block. Have any of your other classes gone over this yet?" she asked gently. She gave her student a small smile, feeling a wave of sympathy for her. Novicehood was never easy, and if Athilin did turn out to be blocked, she would face even more difficulty than most of the other girls.

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